‘Superstar, where you from? How’s it going? I know you got a clue what you’re doing. You can play brand new to all the other chicks out here but I know what you are; what you are baby. Look at you, getting more than just a re-up. Baby you got all your puppets with their strings up. Faking like a good one but I call em like I see em. You’re a womanizer.’
Prologue
Max jumped, eager at his chance to catch a far off glimpse of a girl he lusted for as she passed into the bar. He followed, of course, and left with her that night. He was only sixteen then. So was I.
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And even nine years later as I watched him parade around the bar with four girls on his sides at all times, something inside me squirmed. Max and I had grown up together. I couldn’t remember a time that I hadn’t known him. I also couldn’t remember a time I’d ever felt anything but sheer disgust for the girls he pulled around with him everywhere. He, so far, hadn’t noticed.
Marc tried his best to perk me up with the idea that my birthday was coming up. It was mid-season so I wasn’t quite focusing on it.
“Come on, cheer up. You’re gonna be 25!” he said nudging a glass of Jack Daniels over to me. I pushed it away, disgusted, as I watched Max collecting his whores for the night.
“Just ignore him, babe. He’ll ruin your night.” Jordan told me from his place beside me. His arm went around my waist and I leaned over on him, looking away from Max. We’d been so close as kids; until he’d discovered his knack for getting women to fall at his feet and worship him. We lived next door to each other, worked together and talked all the time when we were alone. Or at least we had. He’d been too busy this year to talk to me and we’d fought. We hadn’t spoken in almost six months. It was wearing on me.
“Yeah. He can just go be with his whores. I don’t need to deal with him. He can come find me.” I mumbled, angry with his ignorance.
“That’s it. Now come on. Dance with me, sweets!” Jordan said, pulling me away to the dance floor. He’d taken to me when Max started ignoring me. We were close.
“But Jordy! I don’t want to dance!” I whined trying to get him to stop pulling me into the crowd. As a slow song began to play he turned on his heels to face me.
“Aweh please?” he begged. I smiled and he celebrated quietly, hands on my hips. We danced most of the night away since a lot of slow songs came on. We talked and laughed as we kept turning circles.
Max interrupted us in the middle of our dance, drunk and with a girl on each arm. One was more fake than the other. I couldn’t decide to myself which one of them I disliked more, the brunette with fake boobs or the blonde with fake nails.
‘Womanizer woman-womanizer you’re a womanizer oh. You’re a womanizer, baby. You you you are, you you you are. Womanizer Womanizer Womanizer baby.’
“Bernie can you give us a ride to my house?” Max slurred, trying to look innocent. I almost gagged. Knives were flying from my eyes. I knew he’d felt it.
“No, Maxime. You can take your whores home yourself.” I spat icily. He suddenly looked more sober and I realized then that he’d been faking his drunken stupor to look innocent to get the girls to give him his way. He kissed them each goodbye and sent them away to their dismay.
“Why’re you in a bad mood?” Max asked. It had only taken six months for him to take an interest and only after I’d told him no. By this time, Jordan and I had stopped dancing and he’d let go of me, wandering off but he kept an eye on me. He knew better than to leave us alone after our little brawl in the locker room.
“Because you’re such a conniving womanizing son of a bitch and I’m sick of being the one facilitating you getting laid.” I told him firmly. He frowned but then smirked, raising an eyebrow in a way that I hadn’t seen him do in months. I missed that smirk. I missed him in general. Losing your best friend for this long hit hard. But I stood firm. I was serious about this. He leaned forward and was within distance of my face that his breath tickled my cheek.
“Are you jealous, mon petite bijou?” he whispered. I almost hit him but those eyes stopped me dead. The icy blue lakes that had always captivated me to follow him into the darkness. The shimmering ice that made staring contests easy. We’d been this close before many times but I’d never been paralyzed by him. And he noticed it. His lips pressed to mine gently as he tried to get me to respond. I fought it as best I could, trying not to kiss him back. I finally gave in a little and kissed back just as he pulled away, making it seem just like a nonchalant move from shock.
><><Max’s POV><><
It’d been a week since I’d kissed her in the club. She’d run off when I’d tried to kiss her again after breaking the first. It had been the first time in our friendship that I’d ever kissed her. All these years and it had never happened. It had been special. It had been soft and shocking. It had been the sweetest kiss of my life. I wanted to kiss her again. Every single time I saw her.
I walked into the Penguins banquet that night with every intention of holding all that in. Lots of n ice ladies came to this dinner. Maybe I’d get lucky. Maybe the gala held more than just dinner for me tonight.
Walking in to see the other guys standing around dressed in their best suits I realized she was missing. She wasn’t handing dinner out tonight but she’d said she’d come to see us before hand. Well she’d said she’d come see Jordan. I was starting to be a little angry with how close they were. It seemed to me that after all this time being my best friend; from the time I was very small to now; and then she just ditched me for him. It made me a little frustrated.
I forgot everything the moment the doors opened under Godsy’s hand and she strolled in.
In walked a girl that I barely recognized. She was wearing a simple black dress that came down around a fourth of the way to her knee. It wasn’t too tight but not too lose and it floated nicely about her in a way that made her seem like she was floating. The low v of her collar gave up just enough and kept everything so secret. Her hair was parted to her bangs and she’d curled her hair. Her make up was perfect and it made her eyes show bright hazel green in the light. I was taken aback. I’d never seen her look so fantastic. Or maybe I had, I couldn’t remember. I knew she’d dressed up all the time when we were children but I’d never thought she was so beautiful before. Breathtaking.
“Hi boys!” she called out to the group of us. They all turned and smiled.
“HI COACH!” they replied in unison. Jordan broke away from the pack and kissed her on the cheek, laughing with her. Fire charred my insides. Sidney went over and gave her a hug, smiling down as he looked over her. I started to see red. Geno kissed the top of her head and hugged her for a length of time that seemed unneeded. My fists clenched. Somehow I wondered to myself how she hadn’t noticed me yet. I waited and waited my turn as she greeted most of the rest of the team; Godsy, Dany, Ray, Feds. But she failed to even acknowledge my existence. I felt a sour bitter taste in my mouth. I’d never felt this before.
><><>Bernie’s POV><><>
I sat down at my table, seated by Jordan and Godsy, who, of course, wanted to be as close to me tonight as possible. I’d always known they liked me but you never really know just how much until you pull out the little black dress. I’d stunned in the back room with the team. I guess I could see why. Usually they saw me in my Penguins Assistant GM stuff, never in anything dressy and certainly not this dressy. It didn’t happen too often. They all took their time enjoying it, that was for sure.
I hadn’t said anything to Max tonight, watching him staring from the corner of the room. He’d kissed me and tried to get to me but I’d controlled it, stopped him. I’d stopped the unstoppable and he was now floating on the edge of craziness. He’d never been turned down, never been told no. He’d never had to work at anything involving a relationship. I wasn’t a whore. I wasn’t his other little whores. I certainly wasn’t easy.
The boys began to hand out dinner and I remained calm, watching the little slideshow that was going on the screen of the players and their charities. Tonight was my birthday. What a way to spend the night: at a gala event with my favorite men. I sat alone though I saw a few men from other tables eyeing me when they had the chance. One complimented my dress though I knew that wasn’t really what was going through his mind. Another asked if my other seat was taken. I told him it was and he sulked away.
I knew I’d be served last because of my affiliation with the team so I watched the guys handing dinner out. It was like a swan dance. Beautiful. I saw Godsy laughing with a table full of older looking women who were graying and probably in their late sixties. They were enjoying his company profusely. Jordan was amusing a table of beautiful girls. Sidney and Geno were talking now with a few guys and their wives who had come. And finally my eyes rested on a giggling Maxime Talbot. He was laughing with a little girl who was sitting with her parents. She was running her hands through his hair and laughing. She couldn’t have been more than five.
He kept serving tables and eventually I found myself almost fixated. He walked with a determination that seemed hard and rough but when he stopped to chat he was light and airy.
‘Daddy-o. You got the swagger of a champion. Too bad for you, you just can’t find the right companion. I guess when you have one too many, makes it hard, it could be easy. Who you are, that’s just who you are baby.’
He seemed almost charming. Almost. I kept watching the boys, trying my hardest to peel my gaze away from Max but always finding that it went back to him. And finally I found that it was almost the end of everyone being served. Jordan, Godsy, Sidney, Geno and Marc were converging on the seats that had been saved for them at a table right beside mine. The rest of the team settled to the tables around me and I was too busy chatting with Jordan and the guys to notice when my dinner was placed in front of me. I did notice, however, when I turned around to eat. Maxime Talbot’s icy blue eyes stared across the table at me, almost dancing and laughing. He smiled a little, obviously trying to seem a little nicer than he’d been these last few months.
After a few minutes of silence in the midst of the sounds surrounding us he finally made a move to say something.
“Hey.” he said quietly, smiling up at me. I tried my best to forgive him for six months of silence but it was hard to force a smile through the annoyance.
“Hey.” I replied, taking a bite of my breadstick. Somehow it seemed natural after 25 years of eating dinner with him to not feel odd anymore.
“How’ve you been lately, bijou?” he asked, starting to eat but keeping his voice low so that everyone else couldn’t hear us.
“I’ve been….. A little less than great.” I explained easily, trying to not get angry at him. It was becoming gradually harder as he asked more questions.
“Why’s that?” I almost wanted to smack him.
“Well work’s been a little harder now that we won the cup and then I’ve got to deal with the press. And my sister’s not doing so well in school so I’m helping her with that,” I said quietly. My sister had been the reason for my working through everything. She was only thirteen. Mom died last year and with dad completely out of the picture I’d taken her in. She’d been staying mostly with our gram on the other side of town but she was at my house almost everyday for some sort of help, “And not talking to you doesn’t make my life any easier.”
“What?” he asked, confused. Now I really could have slapped him.
“We haven’t talked like this in six months, Max.” I told him, recalling each day that I’d hoped for him to even just say hello. I’d gotten nothing. Hung out to dry because he had better things to do with his whores.
“That’s impossible.” he said, putting down his fork and staring at me as if I’d sinned. I sighed and put my fork down as well, staring across the now dimly lit table at him in the flickering candle light.
“It was my half birthday when we stopped talking. Tonight is my birthday, Max. It’s been six months.” I told him with force. His face fell down a little in surprised and what seemed to me condemnation.
“Tonight is your birthday isn’t it? I completely forgot…” he trailed off, seeming a little down on himself.
“Yeah. Twenty five years and counting.” I said, turning back to eating. He sighed.
“I’m sorry for forgetting, bijou. I’ve been busy-” he started.
“With what, Maxime? Your crusade to fuck every single woman in Pittsburgh?” I asked, voice raised in a little anger. I’m lucky the rest of the room was way noisier than me. “It’s all just more important than I am, isn’t it? I haven’t mattered to you since tenth grade.” He looked up and I knew he’d seen my eyes welling up with tears. That had hurt me to admit but it was what I thought. Before he ever had a chance to repent for anything he’d done I was up and walking towards the back room where the guys had been. Maybe I’d take the back door outside and get some air.
><><>Max’s POV><><>
I sat, stunned, as I watched her walking through the maze of tables. She was probably crying by now. I felt a knife to my heart. Jordan and Eric turned around to say something to Bernie and found her gone, everything she’d had with her was still here. They knew almost immediately. She never left her stuff.
“What did you say, Max?” Eric asked, annoyed with me suddenly. I couldn’t answer him without asking a few questions. I looked blankly over at Jordan.
“Has it been six months since I’ve talked to her?” I asked quietly, “Was I really that much of an ass?”
Jordan sighed and looked over at me, finally meeting my gaze. I caught a hint of quiet knowing in his eyes. “It’s been six months Max. You’ve been having a whore round up. She doesn’t want to deal with you anymore. She misses the kid you were and she told me she didn’t want the man whore you’ve become.”
Another stab to the heart. And I’d been mad at her for ignoring me for one night? I’d been ignoring her for months. I hadn’t said anything to her. And looking back I could see that clearly. No comments at practice. No late night visits for cookies. No text chats for hours. I’d been neglecting one of the best friends I’d ever had because I wanted to get laid. I’d hurt her so badly that she didn’t even want to talk to me. Twenty five years of friendship ruined by my own stupidity.
I sat my stuff down on the table and walked out after her, feeling Jordan and Eric’s eyes on my back. They were boring holes through me. And somehow those holes weren’t as big as the one being gauged out in my heart. What had I done to one of the most beautiful wonderful people in my life?
><><>Bernie’s POV><><><>
I stood alone in the back room of the gala event and tried to compose myself in front of a small mirror that hung on the back wall. I wiped away eyeliner and mascara that had run down my cheeks with every little crystalline tear. Max had stepped on the line one too many times now.
There was silence for a few moments in the semi-dark room until I heard the door creep open and then close. Silence again with the exception of breathing that opposed my own.
“Who’s there?” I asked, wiping my eyes again.
“Your Maxy sweetie.” Max’s voice rang out quietly. I felt anger filling me up for a minute until I felt his arms finding my waist. I was in so much shock that I didn’t have a voice to protest. His head sat down on mine and he pulled me back away from the mirror so that he was in frame. I glanced at his reflection and found him looking down at me nervously.
“Get off me…. Maxime.” I whispered, feeling a pain in my stomach after I’d said it. I sighed for a moment, waiting to see if he’d comply. Of course he didn’t.
“I’m so sorry for forgetting your birthday,” he whispered, “And I’m sorry for being an ass and ignoring you all this time. I’m sorry for everything else I’ve done to take advantage of you. I just want my best friend back. I want my Bernie-babe back. I want my old life back. New Max isn’t working out, for either of us.”
I shook with relief as his words processed in my brain. “You really hurt me Max. Six months of ignoring me for whores. That’s heartless. Do you have any idea how that made me feel? I felt like I wasn’t even good enough to be your friend. Like I wasn’t good enough to hold even a little of your attention. I want my best friend back but I don’t know if he’s still in there.” I told him, not looking up into the mirror. His arms turned me around to face his chest but I didn’t look up into his face.
“They didn’t have anything you don’t have. You have everything they don’t. They weren’t good enough. You are. You’ve got my attention. You’ve always had it. And your best friend is back. He’s here to prove it.” Max said, running his hands over his chest for emphasis. I was still crying a little and I tried to hide my tears from him but he wiped them away with his finger like he’d always done when we were little, “What does he have to do to prove it?”
“I don’t know if there’s anything you could do. You hurt me for too long for an instant forgiveness. This isn’t you taking a stuff bear. You screwed with my life for months. I can’t just run up and forgive you one two three. It’s a deep wound, Max.” I said, finally allowing myself the ability to call him by his nickname. He sighed and tipped my face up with his fingers and I stared into his bright blue eyes. Even in the barely dim light of the room I could still see him perfectly. “I wasn’t good enough for you to pay any attention to, Max. I don’t see why this is different from any other time you’ve done this…”
He chuckled softly and watched my eyes, searching for something he didn’t seem to be finding. Finally he sighed, bringing his face closer to mine. I didn’t fight him, to weak to protest him anymore. My eyes closed partially in unison with his, anticipating as I still watched his. “You know why this is different, bijou?” he began, coming again as close as he had in the club. I could smell his axe on him. “This is different because you have my undivided attention. It’s different because you’re the best friend I’ve ever had. It’s different because whores don’t have feelings and you do. It’s different because-” he stopped for a minute, smiling a little to himself as he broke eye contact to look away, “because I love you.”
And then his lips found mine softly in the dark. They danced because I let them, finally giving in to what he’d wanted. I couldn’t say no to the butterflies in my stomach anymore. I felt his arms pulling me into him but we never broke apart. We could’ve been there forever or just a few seconds, I couldn’t tell you which. Either way we were separated by Jordan popping his head in and taking a picture before running back out. We looked at each other and laughed, kissing again through our smiles. It was the beginning of the end.
