‘ “I don’t want to deal with you, Eric!” I half screamed, in tears, “Get out of here!”
“It wasn’t me I swear! Why would I say that about you?” he started, becoming more angry, “Why do you even think it was me? I can’t believe you honestly think I’d do that to you.”
“We’ll you’re certainly quick about telling Rayne what you think of me.” I was bawling,
“ ‘She’s an easy little whore.’ ” I quoted what I’d just been told about with malice.
“I didn’t say it-” he started, running after me as I tried to get away from the park.
“What? You didn‘t say it at all? Sorry for the accusation.” I whined tiredly, unwilling to deal with him any more. I was sick of fighting with him. We were 16 and we’d fought so much. He used to be my best friend until we’d started dating. Now it was a never ending battle.
“Look, we’ve got time. I’ll prove it to you. I’ll prove to you I didn’t say it.” he told me firmly, trying to get me to look at him.
“I’m leaving tomorrow!” I finally snapped, voice quivering. I’d been considering moving to Montreal for college hockey and now it was decided.
“Fine!” he screamed, obviously hurt, “Here’s your goodbye!” he screamed at me before storming away. That was the last thing he said to me so long ago.’
I walked into Jordan Staal’s amidst the crazy holiday festivities that were filling it up. Christmas was coming quickly and I’d promised to come help him since he was hosting the annual party for the Penguins. We’d met just after I’d transferred to a school in Thunder Bay and we were close. I’d followed him to Pittsburgh for my after school college in Sports Medicine at Pitt and managed to get a job in the Pirates organization, though hockey was what I really wanted. Better than nothing.
“Jordy!” I called down the hall to him, pulling on my Penguins’ Santa hat. I’d stitched a black and gold heart on it to differentiate mine from his.
“Hey Sweets!” he replied, hugging me, “Ready to meet the team?”
“How ready can you ever really be to meet a hockey team?” I asked, kissing his cheek as he let me go. I’d been so busy with all my school work the past couple of years that I hadn’t kept many tabs on the team. I usually got a half synopsis from Sports Center and that was enough. I recognized big names like Geno, Sid, Brooks, Gonchar, Talbot, Feds, Flower, Letang and of course Jordan. I knew most of them, in fact, from being with Jordan most days. We’d all met and been introduced. Admittedly we hadn’t spent that much time together; the team in general and I. Most of them probably assumed I was dating Jordan and kept a distance but we were just close.
“Want something to drink, babe?” he asked from his kitchen as he pulled out enough glasses surely for half the team.
“Suree!” I answered back, picking up a box of Christmas decorations and starting to decorate his seemingly overly large tree. I guess it was proportionate to the room but this would take some work. Jordan brought me a glass of Coke and sat it down on a table, helping me climb up onto a chair so that I could start working. He filed out of the room and back the hallway, decorating it while I focused. I heard the door open but didn’t turn as the voices of Max Talbot, Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, Billy Guerin, Kris Letang, Sergei Gonchar, Brooks Orpik, Marc-Andre Fleury, and Ruslan Fedotenko mixing in the hallway coming in from the door. I didn’t bother turning to them as they passed through the room, surely in search of Jordan.
“That tree really looks beautiful, even if you’re not done.” A voice from my past floated into my ears and I faltered, tipping at an odd angle on the chair and falling. Luckily there was someone to catch me before I hit the floor. Glancing up from the arms of my savior I saw piercing green blue eyes staring down at me. I felt fire in my stomach. Those eyes could only belong to one person. Eric Godard.
“Eric…?” I questioned a little stunned and disbelieving. His eyes were wide as he took all of me in. I imagine I’d changed. I was 26 now and my appearance had floated around in the ten years I’d been out of Vernon. My dark brown hair was still brilliant and dark but it flowed to the middle of my back and it was full of messy layers. I’d certainly gotten taller but still was small to him, only 5’5”. My eyes hadn’t changed, still bright hazel green. Finally after a few moments of staring into each others eyes he responded.
“Bernie…” he whispered, half disbelieving himself. I nodded a little and we continued the semi-comfortable silence. I could see a slight anger in his eyes but mostly just awe. I knew he’d seen my malice.
“Are you two going to make out or just stand there cause I’m getting bored.” Max commented from the doorway that lead into the hallway. Eric and I finally broke eye contact and he let me go. I slipped out of his arms, angry at myself for allowing him so close to me for so long. Fierce resent still burned bright inside me. I still hadn’t forgiven him.
I finished up what I was doing with the tree, knowing that all the while he was sitting on the couch going through boxes of Christmas lights Jordan was planning on putting outside his house; certainly watching me as he did so. I couldn’t remember a time when I’d wanted more to talk to him but every time I attempted to think about something to say the words of Rayne so long ago floated into my ears. ‘He said you were an easy little whore and that he could cheat and you’d never know, Bernz. I just thought I’d tell you. I mean you need to know.’ and the rage was back.
“Hey Bernie!” Jordan called over, skipping across the room to me. I smiled and glanced down at him, “Want to come out to dinner with me?”
I didn’t bother glancing at Eric. I could feel his gaze burning holes into Jordan’s chest. “Sure.” I answered back, earning a jumping kiss from Jordan on my forehead.
“Mkay! We have to plan an epic party!” he said as he walked back down the hall to where Max and Sidney were hanging tinsel.
><><><Eric’s POV><><>
I couldn’t believe I’d finally found her after ten years of nothingness. No letters. No phone calls. No attempt at communication. I’d thought maybe after all these years she’d forgive me for all the stupid things we’d fought about but I guess I’d been wrong. Watching her with Jordan made something inside me twist in rage. I wasn’t exactly sure why. They left together to go out to dinner but left us in the house to finish up whatever we were doing or wanted to do before we could leave. I was hanging lights outside when Max caught up with me.
“Hey Godsy,” he started, walking over with a staggered walk in the cold, “What’s up with you and Jordan’s girl?”
“What?” I asked, voice going a little higher than I’d meant it to. He’d caught on to me.
“What, do you two have history?” he continued on quietly, taking up a string of lights and helping me work. I was silent for a minute, unsure of how to answer him. My stomach did back flips thinking about all the times in school that we’d talked about everything together for hours, all the late night sleepovers and the trips to the lake on the weekends. All those static kisses.
“We went to school together, that’s all.” I told him. Obviously that didn’t work. He chuckled to himself, stopping me with one hand on my arm.
“You can’t lie to save your own life, Eric. You have more than that you know it. You like her? Did you two date or something?” Max was relentless. He was going to find out anyway I suppose.
“We dated all through grade school and into high school until she moved away for hockey in Montreal….” I started, leaving out all those fights we’d had and the biggest one; the one that had made her leave in the first place. Thinking about it made my stomach sour. “That’s all.”
“Well at least you had more of a chance than most of us did.” he said, satisfied with the information I’d given him. “We don’t stand a chance against Jordan. They’re always together doing something.”
“Are they dating?” I questioned, trying to sound innocent. Rage was burning inside me. I couldn’t exactly determine why.
“If they aren’t dating now they will be. They’re always flirting. It’s non stopped with those two. Half the team’s tried to get her attention but Jordan’s the one she focuses on.” he began, sighing, “We all pretty much gave up after a while.” I felt my head spin and my heart sinking. It was that same feeling I’d had when she’d screamed she was moving and left without saying goodbye.
><><><Bernie’s POV><><><
It had been weeks since I’d run into Eric at Jordan’s. We’d avoided each other for the most part when I’d gone to practices but occasionally he ventured closer. Of course I cold stared him. Eventually it escalated to a fight. It still rung in my head even now as I drove to Jordan’s.
‘ “What’s your problem? I’m just trying to talk to you. It’s not like I’m going to try to kill you!” Eric whispered with venom.
“I don’t want to talk to you, Eric.” I said firmly, looking away from him. We were the last ones on ice. I knew I’d hurt him when he met my eyes. His were molten with anger but held an underlying sadness.
“What did I do so wrong? What did I do to make you hate me? We were so close. What in the world can I do to prove to you that I just want to be your friend?” he pleaded, giving up on whatever rage he had left. I felt an old wound open.
“You know perfectly well what you did. I know you were cheating when we were kids. Now I’m ten years wiser and ten years more adapted to the world.” I told him, meeting his eyes. I almost faltered. He skated right up to me and wasn’t more than three inches away.
“I did not cheat on you when we were dating. Rayne said that because she was best friends with Jared and he wanted to date you. She broke us up so that you wouldn’t like me anymore and you’d fall back on him. But you moved. Jared told me all about it. It was all Rayne.” he started quietly, looking sincere enough, “I swore to you I’d never cheat and I didn’t. You were the brightest highlight in my life. Can’t you forgive me for everything that Rayne did?”
I stopped for a minute, taking it all in. I didn’t answer him, just looked up at his eyes and then away for a moment; considering my options here. And then, without a word, I turned and skated off. I needed time for this. I’m pretty sure he knew.’
I walked up to Jordan’s front stairs dressed in my holiday best; or at least that’s what Jordan had told me when he’d chosen the outfit for me to wear. Personally I felt more like a holiday hooker than anything else but I could live with it for one night. I was wearing a short red velvet dress with Santa clause fluff at the bottom, a similar shirt and my penguins Santa hat. Knocking on Jordan’s door, it swung open to reveal a quiet party. No one was here yet. I was always early.
“You look amazing! See! I told you you would!” he said, kissing me hello before turning on his heel to let me inside. I closed the door behind me and followed him into the kitchen to make drinks. I’d already been here once today to make cookies and most of the food we’d be having.
Slowly but surely people started to arrive and soon the house was a buzz with happy voice of the team and the extended Penguins’ family. I danced through the crowd, greeting people and giving out cookies, most of which I’d picked up for myself but had ended up getting rid of on the way to a place to sit in the mass of people.
I laughed as Sidney and Maxy called me over and I was offered a seat on Jordan’s lap. I took it, thinking nothing at all of being perched there in my dress. Obviously Jordan and Max were having a hard time focusing but Sidney managed to hold enough of a conversation to get me to ignore them.
“So, any Christmas carols you want to sing for us, angel?” Max asked jokingly, winking at me. I giggled to myself as I thought, glancing around at everyone in our general area. All of them were listening to us. I stood up with one fluid movement and glanced up towards the ceiling in thought. My soft soprano voice broke the air lightly as I turned away to get a cookie a few moments later.
“Deck the halls at Jordan Staal’s, fa la la la la la la la la….” I began, “Tis the season to play hockey, fa la la la la la la la la; Don we now our pads and helmets, fa la la la la la la la la la; Troll the ancient game day torments, fa la la la la la la la la; See the blazing game before us, fa la la la la la la la la; Cheer the team and join the chorus, fa la la la la la la la la; Lead your team to desperate measures, fa la la la la la la la la; Off to win Lord Stanley’s treasure, fa la la la la la la la la; Fast away the old year passes, fa la la la la la la la la; Hail the champions before us, fa la la la la la la la la; Yell it loudly all together, fa la la la la la la la la; The Penguins are the best team ever!, fa la la la la la la la la.” I finished as I reached the kitchen. By this time everyone in the room had stopped and as soon as my voice faded off I heard a round of clapping and intense laughter.
“Was that from the top of your head?!” Sidney yelled in through his high voice. I laughed.
“Yeah. Pretty catchy huh?” I replied, sitting down on a stool and eating a cookie in front of the bar. I must’ve been there for a while before Jordan jumped up and screamed his girly little scream, pointing at the darkened hallway. It was lit by only a string of lights.
“SANTA!” he said as someone dressed up in a Santa suit jumped out from the shadows. I knew immediately by the look on his face it was Geno. “Is it really you?” he said with a star stricken innocence.
“No! He’s a fake! I’m the real Santa!” That voice belonged to Marc-André Fleury. This was way too easy. And out of the darkness another walked out but said nothing, just observed with a quiet little sparkle in his eyes. I wasn’t exactly sure who it was. And out of the nothingness of the hallway behind me Kris and TK came out of nowhere dressed in fruity little elf costumes.
“We need Mrs. Clause to decide who’s real!” and they dragged me off to stand in front of the three men I knew to be just as lost as the rest of the room was. There were a few giggles but mostly silence as I looked them over. I sighed and looked at Marc and Geno, who were hopeless excuses for Santa. Whoever was in the middle looked more right.
“You are.” I replied, pointing him out. He chuckled a deep laugh and celebrated as if he’d made a goal before dancing out of the room and coming back with a huge bag full of presents. I sat down on a chair in front of the fire and sipped my drink, focusing on the flames dancing around more than the gifts being handed out. I laughed to myself as ‘Santa’ took his place on the Christmas throne next to my tree, which still looked beautiful.
Marc came over and pulled down his fake beard, smiling his little Marc-André smile. I knew I was in trouble. “Hey. It’s Santa’s birthday today since it’s Christmas eve. And you’re Mrs. Clause after all. Shouldn’t you be on his lap or at least somewhere near him?” he asked, glancing in the direction of the still mysterious Santa. It couldn’t hurt anything, really. Just one night to be crazy with my friends.
I shrugged and stood up, strolling across the room and plopping down right in ‘Santa’s’ lap. He was stunned. So was most everyone else in the room but I just kinda sat there, thoughtful for a minute as I glanced at the tree to his left. I was quiet for a few more seconds before turning to face him. And what, to my horror, stared back at me but those piercing green blue eyes.
We stared at each other for a minute before Marc began giggling to himself in some sort of victory. I glanced over just in time to see him gesturing to Sidney what he was laughing about. My gaze fell over a mistletoe hung right above where I was sitting. Right above us. We were both in shock when we noticed. I swore in my head and vowed right there to get Marc back. For the moment, though, I tried to just stay a little calm and I glanced away from him, smiling before gazing back into his eyes.
Eric smiled a little under his beard and boyishly looked away. I could hear everything he’d said to me after practice and I remembered all those little emotions that had tap danced through his eyes. Quietly I spoke with calmness I hadn’t had with him for a long time. I could tell he was relieved that I wasn’t yelling.
“Well, Santa,” I whispered just enough for him and a few people closer to us to hear; though I’m unsure if they were listening or just waiting for something to happen, “I have to tell you this month’s been terrible.”
He nodded but kept quiet, waiting for me to speak again with intensity in his eyes that I’d never seen. It was almost a little unnerving. Despite that I was sincerely enjoying looking into those eyes.
“I’ve been fighting with this one boy that I used to be so close to when I was little. And he apologized to me a few days ago. I was thinking over it all in the time we weren’t together and I think I’ve finally come up with a decent response for him,” I began again, still whispering to him. Again he nodded just enough for me to see. I leaned closer to him and watched his eyes following every move I made; arms bracing against my back so I didn’t fall. “And I’d really appreciate it if you gave him the message for me.”
Every single pair of eyes in that room was on us and almost everything had stopped. I waited for a minute, letting them all get jumpy as I stared into those green blue eyes for another long few seconds. We were both savoring the moment. Eric and I could’ve stayed there all night. But finally they couldn’t take it.
“What is it?!?” Sidney and Kris burst out in anticipation. I smiled to myself a little, tugging down Eric’s fake beard and drawing him even closer. It was made easier by the fact that he was still lost in my eyes. He was only an inch away now and his eyes softened as he attempted to listen to me. He was positively shocked and ecstatic to be this close to me again. His face said it all too clearly.
“He’s forgiven.” I finally whispered almost into his lips. He nodded faintly before crashing our lips together with such force that the grand Christmas throne almost toppled over. A few claps, whistles and cheers were heard but in our little moment it was quiet. There were so many emotions in that kiss. There was static electricity. There was sudden forgiveness. Everything we’d both been holding back for so long; all those years. There was true love. It was a Christmas Miracle.
