[..IHateYouTalbot]

Story starts January 31, Saturday.

Going to work had always been a great time. Driving through the evening traffic in downtown Pittsburgh on a Penguins’ game day, however, had a certain way of making my day suck. I sat amid the noisy cars and annoyed business men just trying to get home to their families and I couldn’t help but sigh. I had the easiest, most amazing job in the world, and I was complaining.

I’d become the assistant goaltending coach to Gilles Meloche a few months ago around Christmas and I was positively ecstatic. My record in college had impressed them and after Eric Godard put in a good word for me I was quickly scouted out and asked to join the team. I’d played backup goal tender for the Bobcats for one season before gaining a .966 save percentage. I’d also become increasingly good at finding other team’s tendencies. I could tell where a shot was going before anyone ever knew it was going to happen. I was a loaded gun. And the Penguins had turned off the safety.

I’d only been with them for two months but in that time our record had improved dramatically. Partially, it was credited to me, but mostly I thought it was a change in staff. Michel Therrien had been fired and Dan Bylsma had been hired. Disco Dan was a man who certainly knew what he was doing and I respected his input. He’d played in the NHL. I hadn’t. It was a win-win. Perfect team.

The light changed from red to green and my Jaguar lurched forward slowly. Sports cars weren’t meant to go 5 miles an hour on the highway in a crowded city. Then again, I’d been with the Pirates when I bought the car and that required living in wide open places where I could hit the gas and drive. Finally, I pulled into the parking lot of the Mellon and slipped the ‘VIP’ sign into the windshield, though everyone already knew who’s car it was.

The parking lot was quiet, and I felt calm in the serenity of it. There was an hour to game time but I could clearly see the line of people forming at the gates. I locked the car and walked on ahead, going up to the doors and quickly being aloud entrance from everyone around. They all knew my name, all knew my job. Most of them offered a smile and a once over, a few even offered a high five or a good word. I smiled at them and walked by, knowing that the coaches meeting would be in a few minutes and that I was going to be late. I’d made a promise after all.

Heading into the locker room, I heard a mixture of voices intertwined in conversation. Sidney’s rose above the crowd and I laughed. He was whining. His voice was drown out quickly by the sounds of Jordan and Eric and then by a voice I positively despised. Maxime Talbot. In all the time I’d lived in Pittsburgh and all the time I’d been working here, or even known the players, he always made me sick to my stomach. I’ll admit, there had been a time when I’d thought maybe we could be friends, more than friends even, but that was before I saw what kind of man he was. He was a womanizing, hypocritical bastard who was only in it for fame, money and girls.

I swallowed my own pride and walked passed the wall that blocked me from view, straight into a locker room full of half naked men. I sighed to myself as I saw that Max had left and gone out to get his skates. A moment of relief. I went to my usual place in my office and put down my bag, pulling out a few papers that I knew Dan would need. They were the tendency sheets for tonight’s team. A team that had taken our glory. The Detroit Red Wings. I wrung my hands in unhappiness before being scared nearly out of my skin by a voice that was right behind me.

“Coach!!” Eric’s voice rang through my office like it was being blasted through a mega phone. The acoustics in here were nuts. A smile crossed my face as I turned to see his sexy mug looking me over, eyes tracing my body, as they always did. We’d been friends since before I could remember and he was like a big brother to me, even if he didn’t see it that way. “How’re you todayy?” he asked, coming in and picked me up, kissing my cheek lightly. My spine tingled as he released me and backed up, cocking his head to one side curiously.

“I’m….. okay. Got an uneasy feeling about this game.” I said, pulling out another paper and closing my bag, swinging it down so that it landed on the floor under my desk. He just chuckled at my uneasiness, as he often had during my life.

“You’re always uneasy before games. Nothing ever happens. We win. We get drunk. We go somewhere. We end up at someone’s house. We crash. We do it all again. It’s a cycle. It always goes fine.” he assured me, putting his hand on my back and rubbing it soothingly. I smiled to myself and rolled my eyes.

“You’re always right,”. I admitted, making him smile in triumph. And then, all the happiness that had just been restored to me, flooded from my body and fell through the floor.

“Gods! Where are you! I’ve got your skates!” Max’s voice pierced the air like a needle. I wished he’d just fall off a cliff. But it was in vein. I almost never wished bad things on people but Max got on my bad side a lot. More than anyone I’d ever known. And he knew it.

Walking into my office, his smirk widened and I felt my face fall, turning to stone in anger. Eric’s face turned in uneasiness. He knew how much I hated Max, but I didn’t hinder him from being friends with Max. I’d just told him that I’d never be around him when Max was there. He said he was fine with that, though I knew it was hard for him. Eric didn’t really like to see his friends unhappy like that.

“Bernadette.” Max said, voice cold as ice.

“Maxime.” I replied, tone even icier. My glare bore a hole through him and I saw the grin on his face widen. I just wanted to smack it off of him. He laughed as he handed Eric his skates.

“Why so mad? No sex lately?” Max asked, eager to get on my bad side. I took a breath and held in the anger I was feeling.

“Why so slutty? Any more STD’s?” I shot back angrily, shaking Eric’s hand off me and pushing past Max to the hallway, not bothering to stop and see anyone else. They all just looked on anyway. All of them knew how I was when Max was there. They knew to avoid me. I tried my best not to wrinkle the papers I was holding as I walked into the silence of the meeting room.

It was a small room, not much bigger than a high school nurses office. Cozy. I took a seat and put the papers on the table quietly, laying my head down on my arms. Max was driving me up a wall. And I couldn’t make it stop. He got under my skin no matter what I did and I couldn’t make him stop. I think that drove me more crazy than having to actually deal with him.

“Not feeling well today, Bernie?” Dan’s voice asked from the chair beside me. I heard the shuffling of feet and I knew that Mike Yeo and Gilles Meloche were here as well. Looking up, I saw Dan smiling down at me, as he usually did. We’d made good friends, and he was a wonderful person to work with.

“I feel fine. It’s Maxime Talbot that’s ruining my day.” I said, sitting up and organizing my papers. I heard an unkempt sigh and I looked over to see Mike Yeo shaking his head.

“Again? When are you two going to get over this stupid little spat?” he asked, rolling his eyes as I handed him the sheet he would need for offense tonight.

“He’s a whiny little prick. I don’t want to fight with him. He’s an instigator. He started it.” I answered coldly, body stiffening. Dan sat up and cleared his throat.

“Okay. Enough of this. We’re here to help the team win, not fight amongst ourselves about something else. Now, can we please have our briefing?” Dan’s voice was smooth and even, not even phased. He was so calm. Always. I was envious.

“Tonight’s biggest threat is Henrik Zetterberg. Chris Osgood’s playing well too but his weakness is the six-hole. Defensively they’re weak on the right and a break away is a sure thing. They can’t catch up. On our end, we’re strongest on the right tonight since Gonch and Boucher are playing but we’ll be weak on the fourth line since Petr’s out. Jordan’s not feeling well so third line needs some tough defense. We might want to move Kris up to the third line and put Orpik down to the fourth. Fedotenko’s playing well so I think maybe third line him tonight and put Godsy down on the four……..” I started, trying to work through Mike and Dan’s laughter. “What is so funny?”

“Godsy. It’s just the way you say it. You two are hilarious with each other.” Dan tried, wiping away a tear. Mike nodded.

“No one else can get away with calling him Godsy, either. Trust me, we’ve tried.” Mike said, taking a deep breath.

“Serenity now, Mike. Serenity now.” Gilles said through his normally thick French accent.

“Anyway!” I said, regaining their attention, “We’ve got to make sure Godsy’s fourth line tonight with Samuelsson or he’s going to stay on late and get after Geno and Sid. We can’t afford to lose them on this streak. Any questions?”

“Where are we putting Talbot?” Dan asked, poker faced. I knew he was serious but I couldn’t resist the chance to get out some pent up anger and I knew that an evil smirk had crossed my face.

“We can put him in a ditch somewhere at the bottom of a lake a few miles south of Detroit.” I answered, looking between the three of them. I didn’t get a rise so I sighed. “We’re putting him third line with Fedotenko on right and Staal on left.”

“Okay. Everything sounds in order, then.” Dan said, standing up and shaking Mike and Gilles hands as they left. I stood last and he patted my shoulder. “We really are thankful to have you around here. You’re very helpful.” he said, smiling at me. His eyes twinkled under his glasses and I smiled back, it was infectious.

“Thanks. Just get out there and party hard, Disco Dan.” I commented, walking out and leaving him in the room, shaking his head.

“Disco Dan? Where do you come up with this stuff?” Dan’s voice faded into the soft sounds that my shoes made on the padded floor as I waltzed out to the runway and onto the bench where the Assistant General Manager, Chuck Fletcher, stood, filling up bottles of Gatorade as the arena filled with white jerseys.

Post-Christmas season always called for white out conditions. This was our last game of the regular season against them and it was sure to be epic.

“Need some help?” I asked, sitting back on the bench and looking through my hair at him. He turned and smiled at me, pulling a headphone out of his ear so that he could understand me.

“Hmm?” he asked, confused.

“Nothing. I’ll see you out here in a few minutes.” I said, rolling my eyes as I headed back into the locker room. The growing crowd above me cheered and waved down. And though they knew I wasn’t famous they still loved me. I didn’t score goals for them or make them sit on the edge of their seats, but they cheered for me. These were true fans.

I headed back into the locker room and found a group of excited and tense Pens. I heard our theme music begin to play out on the ice and I knew that we were about to start one of the most epic games of the year. I waited just outside the locker room door and as each person passed me, I gave them a kind word. Sidney gave me a hug and Geno tapped my ass with his stick before following a snickering Jordan down the strip. Finally, out popped Godsy and he stopped for a minute to give me a pre-game hug.

“Good luck out there, Godsy.” I said, hugging him tightly before he let go and stood back, smiling at me.

“Thanks. I’ll need it when I get to beat someone’s ass. Can’t believe you fourth lined me.” he said, shaking his head but winking at me. I smiled and he kissed my head. “Have fun watching.”

“See you out there, Eric.” I shouted after him as he followed everyone onto the ice. Just one more person to go. And as Max filed out of the locker room, I turned and walked to the bench, not bothering to say anything to him.

“What? Nothing for me?” he asked sarcastically, the same evil smirk on his face.

“You don’t deserve my breath, Talbot.” I said, cringing back a little at my own words. I stopped for a moment, surprised at myself, but then felt the anger return and the icy glare continued. He sighed and jumped onto the ice, blowing me a smart ass kiss as he turned and went through warm ups.

The game started a few moments later. I stood, virtually frozen on the bench. I could hear the cheers of everyone behind the glass but I made certain to listen to what Mike and Dan were saying and I helped the boys when they needed something, ultimately settling into a conversation with our back up goalie, Mathieu Garon. He hadn’t seen a game since he’d been traded here from the Islanders and he took solace in knowing that someone still knew he existed.

“Oh! Did you see that?” I heard someone scream. I snapped out of my conversation and my head twisted to the Jumbotron where a rewound video of Marc being knocked over was being reviewed. A penalty on Hossa was issued for roughing and I smiled to myself as the cheers went up through the crowd.

“Tough break for Marc. He looks really tired.” Mat said, looking over to where Marc stood, half hunched over in net. He was breathing hard and I assumed it just to be that he’d had the wind knocked out of him. Finally, after a moment of worry, he stood straight up and stretched, preparing for the face off.

“Yeah, but he’ll be fine in a few minutes.” I said, “Not to kill your hopes.”

“It’s alright. I know I’m not going in net unless we’re up 8-0 anyway.” he said hopelessly, sighing. I patted his back and he smiled a little. We kept close tabs on the game and, much to our amazement, we went scoreless into the third.

Two minutes into the third, Eric got into a blistering fight with Samuelsson, resulting in a four minute penalty for the both of them. It was a great fight, though. Five rights to Samuelsson’s face and he fell down, leaving Eric standing tall and victorious, though he had a cut under his left eye now. I cringed as I watched him dab away the blood while sitting in the box. I knew that would definitely hurt him tomorrow.

The game continued and we hit the less than half third mark, still scoreless. This was amazing. Astonishing. Completely crazy. Everything I’d ever hoped it would be. Marc was blocking shots that came out of no where and went no where. Four times he stopped an almost perfectly set up shot by Zetterberg. I smiled to myself behind a cold face and I shivered as I watched the lines change again. Max’s line went out and I felt myself relax a little but tense again as I saw the false start by Detroit. Zetterberg shoved Max backwards and for the first time I felt anger flare up towards someone for doing something to Max and not just because Max was involved.

I turned around for a moment to find a paper that Dan was looking for but I was quickly forced to turn back around.

“OHMYGOD!!!” I heard someone scream. I looked out onto the ice and immediately knew what everyone was gasping about. It had quieted a whole arena. Datsyuk had been skating behind the net and a knee-to-knee had occurred between himself and Eric. They both went down but Datsyuk was getting up. Eric wasn’t moving.

I hopped the boards as soon as the refs stopped play and I was at his side in a minute, gliding along the ice like it was pavement and I was running. I was Assistant goaltending coach but that was no reason for me to not help out the medics on the team. I was all over the place, really. Helped out whenever, wherever and however I could.

“Eric!” I screeched, putting my hand out to his and pulling him up, supporting as much of his weight as I could.

“Ahh!!” he groaned in pain, tears of frustration and agony racing down his cheeks.

“What’s hurting? What’s wrong here, Godsy?” I said, trying to calm him down as I took him off ice down the runway to the med room.

“My hip and my leg. I think I popped something out of place. Oh my God it hurts so bad…” he trailed off as I stumbled and his leg hit the ground. He squealed again and I stopped, letting him readjust so that it wouldn’t happen again.

“Okay, I’ll check that out. Hold on.” I said, sitting him down on the medic table and running back to the bench to get Chuck. Chuck went into the locker room with haste and I was just about to follow him when Max stopped me. He didn’t look as though he was going to say something sarcastic at first, so I stopped in shock, but then the smirk came over his face again and he laughed.

“He was crying, eh? Cry baby.” he said, shaking his head. This time, I was just barely able to keep myself from hitting him. No one insulted Eric, not to his face or mine. I ran back into the locker room and spent the remainder of the game there at Eric’s side as Chuck determined what was wrong with him. I heard the goal horn go off three times and though I couldn’t see the score for the Wings, I knew that we must be winning due to the sheer loudness of the crowd.

Eric laid back on the table as Chuck went to the other room to prepare to pop Eric’s leg back into the place. I sighed and patted his chest.

“You’ll be okay in a little bit.” I said soothingly. He looked down at me, tears now dried and face clearing of redness. He tried to smile but he just couldn’t force it through the pain.

“I know. But not in time to party.” he said, shaking his head. I laughed.

“You still want to party?” I asked sarcastically. He shook his head as hard as he could, trying not to jar himself around too much.

“Have to make sure no one messes with you, of course.” he said, smiling at me for the first time since I’d brought him off ice.

“You honestly think I’m still going to party without you?” I asked, confused.

“I know you are. Because Sid and Geno said they were taking you out tonight. Their treat. I was looking forward to it.” he said sadly as Chuck came back.

“Ready Eric?” he asked. Eric braced himself against the table as Chuck prepared him. “One. Two. Three.” he said, pushing his weight on Eric. I heard a loud snapping before Eric screamed in pain and then in relief.

“Any better?” I asked over the sound of the end of game horn.

“Yeah. It still hurts like a bitch though. Help me up, I need to go change and get home to sleep.” he said, offering his arm to me. I helped him up and pulled him off the table, helping him, still limping, to the locker room before the Pens burst in, joy on all their faces.

“Final?” I questioned as I sat Eric down and was attacked by Sidney. He picked me up and kissed me on the cheek before looking me in the eye.

“Four Zero!!!” he screamed, getting a yell from almost everyone in the locker room.

“OHMYGOD!” I yelped, jumping back into Sidney’s arms as he hugged me. As long as I’d been out of the hockey circuit, I still acted like a hockey player. I guess my job didn’t exactly help me to break myself of those habits. Sid sat me down and I kissed him for a minute in my joy. Something I’d done with Eric many times. Sidney, however, wasn’t exactly as used to it as Eric was.

Sid’s face turned a whole new shade of red and he stood, stunned, in front of me. I sighed and felt my face turn a little pink as Godsy shook his head.

“Well, looks like I just lost my only special privilege. Thanks, Crosby.” Eric said sarcastically, already half out of his gear.

“Uh….. You’re welcome?” Sid said, still stunned. I tried to distract him by asking him questions. It seemed to work pretty well.

“So you’re taking me out tonight, huh?” I questioned, curious. Sidney smiled and came back from his haze to smile at me.

“You bet your ass I am!” he screamed, suddenly in a rush to get his stuff off and change.

“What about me?!” Kris and Jordan called in unison. Geno nodded his head, as did TK and, much as I loathed him, Max. I glared over at Sidney, who shrugged and motioned for me to sit with him.

“He’s not that bad, honestly. Just get to know him. Or at least get over this fighting.” he whispered to me lightly. I just shook my head at him and walked into my office, closing the door and sitting down at my desk. I pulled out a package of papers and filed away tonight’s game log with the others from the rest of the season before laying my head down on the desk. Another game, another injury and another fight with Max. How long was this going to go on?

I was a little shocked to find myself wishing for an end to the feud. It had always been Max’s fault. That little bastard. I sighed as I heard the door to the office open but didn’t look up. I didn’t have to. By the sound of that smirk on his face I knew who it was.

“What do you want, Maxime.” I asked, voice filled with sudden anger.

“Just to tell you that we’re ready to go, Miss Bitch.” he finished, entering my office and shutting the door. I stood up from my desk and confronted him for the first time ever, placing myself directly in front of him, unmoving. I stood straight up and looking him in the eye with the most blazing glare I’d ever unleashed upon anyone.

“I have a name, Whore, and it’s not Miss Bitch.” I said icily, tone completely emotionless now.

“Well fuck you then Miss Priss.” he said, turning as he walked back into the locker room.

“I could have you benched, Talbot!” I screamed after him. He just laughed.

“You’re funny!” he yelled back, unmoved. I felt the anger inside me simmering and I no longer wished for an end to our fight, but I wished for a full on confrontation. I picked up my bag and angrily walked out of my office, slamming the door behind me. Sidney jumped and Eric limped over to me, throwing his arm around my shoulders, kissing my cheek.

“Don’t worry about him. He’s just being an ass because he knows it gets to you. It’ll be okay.” He consoled me as we walked out of the locker room with a small pack following that consisted of TK, Kris, Sidney, Jordan and Geno.

“I don’t understand what started this whole mess. What’d he do to you in the first place?” TK asked timidly, not wanting to make me angrier. I sighed and thought back to the day that had changed my whole outlook on Max Talbot.

-Flashback-

-End Flashback-

I sighed to myself, thinking about whether to tell TK the story or not. Eric took the words right out of my head though.

“Max didn’t do anything to her. He did something to her friends. Bad mistake on his part.” Eric said, shaking his head.

“What, you have a vengeance problem?” Sid asked, looking over at me. I nodded.

“Let’s put it this way. Back in college, if you hit the captain, you found some things missing and you didn’t skate in the paint or you were going down. Penalty or not, I wasn’t letting you live without a limp.” I answered. Sid laughed.

“I’d love to have you in net when we play Philly. We need that kind of attitude.” he joked. I chuckled to myself and smiled a real smile for the first time all night. Sid always had a way of making me feel better.

“So, who’s riding with me?” I asked, looking around at everyone behind me. I knew Eric would be riding shotgun but I didn’t know if anyone else wanted to come.

“I’ll ride along. I came with Geno anyways.” Sid said smiling at me. I laughed.

“You just want an extra excuse to spend time with me, Squidney.” I almost pissed myself as he shook his head yes like a kid on crack.

“You suck!” Jordan yelled unhappily, pouting. I patted his shoulder.

“Relax. You’re going to a club with me against my will. I’m pretty sure you’ll get time to hang out with me before I get drunk…. And after…. Maybe.” I assured. This cheered him up and he smiled at me again. We got out of the building and headed outside into the still packed parking lot. We ran to our cars, as we often times had to in order to avoid fans and the media, and jumped in. Well, everyone but Eric ran. He sort of had a Frankenstein walk going on. Finally, he hopped in and I pulled out with Geno, Kris and Jordan behind me.

“Where’re we going tonight?” Eric asked excitedly.

“We? I thought you were going home.” I said, confused.

“Nah. I’m not missing a chance to come clubbing with you. My leg feels better now. And I’m not bleeding from the face anymore. I’m good.” He said, smiling at me deviously. Sidney just chuckled.

“You just want to make sure no one else hits on her.” Sid said sarcastically.

“Damn right.” Eric answered jokingly, though I knew he was pretty serious.

Eric and I had been best friends since we were very young and he’d taken up the responsibility of looking after me when it came to anything, especially boys. I hadn’t even had a boyfriend all through high school because of him. I think it was mostly just because guys assumed we were dating. Eric and I had always been abnormally close and since neither one of us cared what anyone thought, we just did what we wanted. I think that most everyone on the Pens thought we were dating for the first six months. Eric almost always asked me if I was coming home with him or going to my house, or if we were still on for dinner and a movie, but we’d never been dating, just screwing around having fun. Nothing serious had ever happened between us, though I knew that at this point Eric probably wanted it to. And, sexy as he was, I just didn’t feel the exact same way.

“You’re a little overprotective, Godsy, but I love you.” I said, laughing a little as I pulled into the parking lot of The Town Tavern. Eric smiled and kissed my cheek.

“The best club ever!” He squealed giddily as we got out of the car. Sidney ran over to me and squeezed me half to death.

“I LOVE YOU!” he screamed.

“Why?” I asked, backing up from him and shaking my shirt, pulling it up over my under shirt. As I started to take it off, I saw the look of shock on Sid’s face. He was stunned. Eric on the other hand didn’t look even the slightest bit phased as I threw my simple blue shirt into the passenger’s seat of my Jag, revealing a fitting black spaghetti strap tank top over a white one.

“B-b-because this club kicks ass.” Sid said, snapping out of his shock as Eric hit him in the arm.

“Yeah, I know. I love this club.” I answered, smiling as everyone else pulled in and joined our little group. I suddenly noticed something. “Hey, aren’t we missing an asshole?”

“What?” Jordan asked, confused for a moment before he realized what I was talking about. Kris shook his head and pointed across the parking lot to where Max’s BMW was parked. I rolled my eyes.

“Damnit. I thought we’d get rid of him.” I said as we started towards the door.

“Well, don’t fret bijou. We’re going to make your night amazing.” Jordan said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and gaining an agreeing mumble from the rest of the guys. Geno came up on my other side and slid his arm around my waist.

“This night will be…… super awesome?” he tried, unsure of his word choice. I smiled over at him and nodded, giving him some confidence that he was learning the language. I’d really seen him come into his own lately. His English was improving steadily, his hockey career was flying high and he was really getting in touch with the American in him, if that was possible for a Russian.

“PARTY TIME!!” TK cheered as we sat down in our usual booth, the same one we’d been in the first night I’d been here. Taking a once over of downstairs, I saw that Max was missing. Thank God. Our drinks were brought over by the barkeep, who smiled at us before leaving to go back to a drunken man at the bar who looked like he didn’t need anymore alcohol in his life.

I sipped my drink quietly for a minute, just listening to everyone else talking before they decided to include me.

“So, who’s playing where when we play Philly?” Sid asked curiously as he sipped his drink.

“Well you’ll be on the first line with Chris and Billy, the usual.” I said, rolling my eyes at the obviousness of the question. TK looked over at me questioningly, and I knew that the rest of the team must’ve been thinking it too. “TK you’ll be on third line with Petr if he’s back and Maxime. Jordan you’re second line with Geno and Matt. Godsy you’re fourth line again with Ruslan and Pascal. Kris you’re with Gonch.” I said, twirling the straw around in my drink as they took in the information.

“You’re fourth lining me again?” Eric said in fake disbelief.

“Sorry, but that’s where you play best.” I said, leaning my head over on his shoulder.

“I’m just going to stop trying if you keep doing this to me.” he said, pouting. I kissed his cheek and stood up.

“Don’t give up! You’ll make third line someday!” I half yelled in an epic tone. He laughed and stood up beside me.

“I BELIEVE I CAN!” he said, throwing his arms up. Everyone laughed at our antics and Jordan even had some rum and coke shoot out of his nose.

“Dude! That’s disgusting!” TK said, standing up and backing away from the table just before Jordan’s projectile snot dripped off the table onto the seat where he’d been sitting. Sidney and Kris stood up but Geno just sat there, unphased.

“Well, before Jordan decides he wants to shoot anymore alcohol out his nose, I’m going upstairs to dance. Anyone care to join me?” I asked, immediately getting a rise out of Sid, TK and Kris. Eric took my hand and pulled me eagerly towards the dance floor, leaving Geno and Jordan to clean up their mess, or Jordan’s rather.

We got upstairs and from the second we hit the floor I felt myself relax. Even thought I knew Max was here, I didn’t care anymore. I was going to have fun with four of my closest friends and no one was going to ruin that for me. Sid and TK immediately got snatched up by some fairly whorish looking girls but I didn’t notice it. Kris and I were talking and then a good looking girl walked by and he was gone in a flash. I laughed and rolled my eyes at him, turning to see Eric standing patiently behind me.

“What, aren’t you going to abandon me too?” I asked sarcastically, cocking my hips to one side.

“Well that one chick was checking me out back there but I’m not leaving you here to fend off these guys.” he said, eyeing the place like there was an unseen bomb or something hidden in the floorboards. I laughed and we started to dance together to the tune of ‘Pop Lock and Drop It’ . Eric was a surprisingly gifted dancer and I smiled as we made a few heads turn with our synchronization. We’d learned to dance together just like we’d learned to speak English together. The music slowed down and the DJ came on over the speakers.

“Alright now it’s time to slow this party down. Ladies choice.” and as soon as his voice faded, ‘Dear God’ began to play. Eric and I stopped for a minute to take a breath and then he smiled at me slyly.

“Ladies choice, huh?” he asked, sticking out his bottom lip. “I’m fucked.”

“Why?” I asked, confused for a minute.

“Because you can have your pick of any guy in this club.” he said, giving me the puppy face.

“Yes, I could. But I pick the crazy one right in front of me.” I said, smiling at him. He returned it and came closer, putting his hands on my hips as I wrapped my arms around his neck. We danced slowly to the beat, spinning around in small circles. I put my head on his chest and listened to the beat of his heart go along with the music. It quickened as I let my guard down and came closer. The song kept going on and on and I sang along for a while.

The song faded and we backed away from each other as ‘Go Girl’ by Pitbull filled up the speakers and the dance floor was jumping again. Eric and I immediately fell into step with the music. This was our favorite song to dance to. And as I turned away from him, he put his hands on my hips and pulled me into him, swaying back and forth with me in perfect rhythm. I smiled and we kept dancing. It was nice to have someone like Eric to dance with. We could do anything and it didn’t matter at all. I loved it.

But suddenly as I looked across the dance floor, Maxime was in view with a dumb blonde grinding on him. I felt sick to my stomach as he kissed her neck and she closed her eyes in happiness. He was going to get laid again to night. Nothing new. But something inside me just wanted to get back at him as he glanced over at me right afterwards and smiled that evil, hateful smile. It was like a slap in the face that said ‘look what I can get.’ I glared at him but his smile only widened and he mouthed ‘You wish you had this’. I rolled my eyes and mouthed ‘Yeah right’ back to him. Two could play that game. I turned around to Eric, surprising him and he looked down at me confused.

“Eric, go along with me. Max is screwing with me again.” I asked, looking up into his eyes. They softened and then hardened again at the thought of Max making me angry. I took his hands and intertwined my fingers with his, making him raise an eyebrow. He glanced over my head to see Max and that blonde, probably still grinding together. Looking back down at me, he smiled deviously.

“What do I need to do?” he asked, eyebrow raising higher still.

“Do whatever it is that you think will piss him the fuck off.” I said, smiling an evil smile at him. He turned me so that we were standing in such a way so that Max could clearly see both of us. Eric looked down at me for assurance and then he came close to my face, whispering lightly in my ear. His breath tickled my cheek and I squirmed a little as he spoke.

“How far am I aloud to go here, honey? I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. Any restrictions?” he asked calmly, voice smooth. I smiled to myself and kissed his cheek. I’d just given him the ammunition to do anything and he was still worried about making me feel uncomfortable. Typical Godsy.

“Sweetheart you’ve known me my whole life and we’ve slept in the same house almost every night for ten years. You can’t possibly make me uncomfortable. Just don’t try to undress me and we’re fine.” I answered.

I heard his face twist into a smile and he started with his work. He came so close to me that I could hear his heart beat racing and he started kissing my neck ever so lightly. It made chills run up my spine. I felt even a little surprised. He’d kissed me before but I’d never really noticed how gentle he was. He continued from my shoulder up to my collar bone, stopping and immediately finding my sweet spot. It surprised me but I had to remind myself that this was the same guy that had watched me grow up. He knew everything about me. No surprise that he found it that easily. He ran his lips over it and I felt myself get a chill. Smiling into my shoulder, he stopped there and kissed the spot again, sucking on it a little before he moved on.

And there weren’t words to describe how he was making me feel on the inside. Feelings I’d never had before were flowing through me and yet somehow I felt like something was wrong, something wasn’t quite right. I disregarded that as he moved on. Trailing the rest of his kisses up my neck he made it to my face and he kissed my cheek a few times, looking into my eyes. I could see there was a fire burning there, one that had always been around but had never been quite so obvious. And it was then that I knew he’d always wanted this, he’d just been waiting for the right time. And I’d given him the time. I let him keep going and he kissed my cheek once more before whispering again.

“Watch Max’s face.” he said before he backed away from me, but only slightly. He was still only inches from my face and I could feel his warm breath on my chest as his breathing quickened a little.

I glanced over to see Max watching us now, completely ignoring the fact that the blonde was practically on her knees in front of him. Eric had a smile turning up in the corners of his mouth and he closed the space between us, bringing me back from watching Max. I closed my eyes and fell into the kiss. It was a kiss we’d both been waiting for since childhood and it felt exactly like I was falling off a cliff. I could feel the passion flowing out of Eric as his arms slithered around my waist. I smiled into the kiss and he returned it, knowing that he’d done no wrong so far. He stopped for a minute, opening his eyes and looking at me. Somehow I felt wrong for using him like this, I felt that I was going to hurt him, and that was something I didn‘t ever want. But I didn’t have time to think about it. Eric closed the space between us again, pulling me a little closer so that I was only a few inches away from his chest and we were fit snugly together. A series of short kisses followed before he closed the space for a kiss that had to have lasted for at least three minutes straight. He finally let me out of the passion filled adventure and began to kiss my neck again. I felt another chill run up my spine as he stopped on my sweet spot one more time. He ran his tongue over it lightly and bit me gently, kissing the spot a million times afterwards. I ran my fingers through his hair and he smiled into my shoulder, never stopping. He was making me weak in the knees for the first time in my life and I was enjoying it.

Glancing back over at Max, he’d sent the blonde away and was now sitting at a table with a drink in hand, shooting menacing glares our way. I smiled and pulled Eric’s hair a little, making him back up and look at me. I leaned up and kissed him, tussling his hair with my fingers before I broke away and looked him in the eyes. The fire he had was still burning bright and I smiled.

“Thank you, Godsy.” I said, hugging him. I put my head on his chest and heard his heartbeat still racing.

“Anything for you.” he said, voice a little sad but a little happy as well.

He hugged me close and I took his hand, pulling him towards the stairs and down to the bar. We sat in the serenity of each others’ company at the bar for a few minutes, sipping some light alcohol. Finally, Eric broke the silence.

“You know, I think Max has a thing for you.” He said suddenly, making me raise an eyebrow. I sat my drink down and looked over at him as if he’d just told me he was getting a sex change.

“Yeah, a thing for getting under my skin.” I said, rolling my eyes before I took another drink.

“That’s not what I meant.” he said softly. My eyebrows raised again as I glanced over at him out of the corner of my eye, gaining an explanation immediately. “Max doesn’t treat anyone different but you. You’re special. He’s always a different person with you. And you have to know that means something. You know you‘re special when Max treats you different.” he answered easily, taking a drink.

“Ha you’re funny, Godsy. He hates my guts. That’s why he treats me differently.” I commented, laughing a little at just the thought. Eric shook his head.

“I dunno. He doesn’t usually turn away girls like that. And he was trying to get to you with another girl. That’s jealousy. Maybe he’s just mad that he can’t have you.” Eric proposed thoughtfully. He’d always been one to make me think. I sat in silence for a moment before answering.

“Well that might be because I’m not like every other girl he’s ever had and I won’t bend over for him whenever he wants. And I never will so he can go fuck himself if he thinks that’s ever going to happen.” I answered. Eric smiled.

“I know that. But I mean, just think about it. There has to be some reason for all this. Keep it in mind.” he said quietly, as he turned to look back at our booth. Jordan and Geno both had girls in arm and Sidney, Kris and TK were still upstairs with the same girls we’d left them with. Sighing, he finished his drink and stood up. “Wanna go home?”

“Sure.” I said, standing up with him and taking his hand when he offered it. We walked out into the cold air and jumped into my Jag. It was just a short five minute drive home with the pedal down to the floor. I pulled up to my house and parked in the driveway, cutting the engine. Eric shook his head, and opened the door, clearly tired and woozy.

We headed up the driveway and into the house, tossing our shoes off next to the door and throwing our coats on the hook. Eric hobbled off to the kitchen and got a drink and some Excedrin for himself and sat some out on the counter for me. We both knew very well that we’d have hangovers tomorrow. Pre-emptive strike. I smiled as I walked back into my room and changed into my oversized Lemiuex jersey and sweats before coming back into the kitchen.

“You just staying here tonight?” I asked, obviously knowing the answer. He nodded and headed to his room. He was here so much that he had his own room and half his stuff was here and vice versa. I sat down on one of the bar stools and took my Excedrin, listening to the sounds of Eric’s footsteps coming back into the room. I turned around and saw him in his typical sleeping stuff, no shirt and some comfy sweats. I looked back the other way and took a sip of water, almost choking when I felt Eric’s lips on my neck again. He stopped and peaked around to my face questioningly.

“You scared the shit out of me.” I answered simply. He kissed my cheek and sat down next to me.

“Sorry.” he said apologetically. I smiled over at him and nodded.

“It’s okay.” I assured him, getting up and stretching. I walked into the living room with Eric in tow and fell back onto the couch. He fell down beside me and I leaned over on him as he turned on Sportscenter. Highlights of tonight’s game were playing and they showed a replay of the hit he’d taken. I cringed back but he just laughed.

“Wow. I look really sexy when I’m airborne.” he said sarcastically. I giggled and curled up beside him. He put his arm around my shoulders and we sat together until Sportscenter ended in about twenty minutes. He shook me a little, waking me up before he stood and pulled me along with him. I let him drag me down the hall and he stopped in front of my door.

Giving me my normal goodnight hug, he squeezed me half to death. The only difference tonight was that he switched it up on me. As he let me go, he stayed close and kissed my neck softly before backing up and looking me in the eye, fire burning again. I woke up a little more as he kissed my lips, the same passion as before flowing into me from him. I ran my fingers through his hair and he stopped, hugging me again. And for the first time I felt like something was right but still wrong at the same time. It was an odd in between feeling but I ignored it. Eric’s heart was racing and I could hear it in the silence of the hallway. And then he said something that I’d heard a thousand times before but never really believed.

“I love you.” he said under his breath. I felt my stomach do a flip backwards. It finally got through to me that he was serious. This wasn’t just a joke anymore. He meant it with everything he had. And those kisses showed that for sure. My mind was racing and I didn’t know what to say, so I said the same thing I had every day since I’d been able to understand what it meant.

“I love you too.” I answered. He backed up from me and searched my eyes, unsure. I took advantage of his pause and leaned up, kissing him. He smiled into the kiss and pulled me into him, finally letting himself go. All the rules we’d ever set down flew out the window. He stopped kissing me and went back to my neck, pushing me backwards to the other side of the hall and pinning me up against the wall. I didn’t mind and ran my hands over his chest, shivering with waves of confusing emotions. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. His arms wrapped themselves around my waist and helped me to stay up as he backed up from me and looked into my eyes again.

“I’ve loved you,” he stopped to kiss me, “for so long.” another hard kiss, “I never thought,” a breath and a kiss, “I’d ever,” a shallow breath and a violent hard kiss, “get a chance,” and then he stopped for a minute as the last kiss elongated, “to be with you.” he finally finished. I smiled into his lips and pushed my head against the wall.

“Well here’s your chance, Godsy.” I answered, kissing him again. He smiled and we kissed for a long time. I felt his tongue brush my lip and I let him in. And it was then that I understood the fire in his eyes when he played hockey, because it was the same fire I was feeling right now. He’d always a very passionate person and I really believed it now. He stopped kissing me for just a second to look me over, sighing in pleasure before kissing me again, gently this time. We kept kissing for about five minutes after that before we stopped to take a breath. Eric breathed deep and I found that my breath was lost.

“Promise me something here.” Eric said, voice husky and lustful. I nodded breathlessly and he continued. “Promise me right now that if this never happens again, we won’t be weird. I don’t want to lose you because I say something stupid.”

“I promise.” I mumbled under my breath, kissing him again. And it was only in that moment I realized that he’d been holding back even then. He pulled me off the wall and carried me into his room, sitting me back on the bed. I laid back and he loomed over me greedily. He pulled off my jersey to show that I was still wearing my black tank top, and he knew it. Smiling to himself he bent down and kissed my sternum, trailing kisses up to both my shoulders and making it up to my lips once and a while.

I just laid back and took it all in. I’d never thought in a million years I’d ever be here. And somehow, even though I loved Eric with all my heart, this just didn’t feel right. And I think we both knew it. He stopped and sighed to himself, clearly feeling my hesitation. Looking up into my eyes, he searched them and backed off, sitting down beside me. I sat up and looked over at him.

“Eric…” I trailed off, not knowing what to say. He just sighed and shook his head, laughing almost in reassurance to himself.

“You don’t want this. Not like I do. You love me but it’s not the same…” he said thoughtful and clearly hurt.

“I don’t know what it is…” I admitted as he put his arm around me. He understood me but I knew he was still hurt.

“But it’s alright. I know how far I can let myself go now. And if you ever figure out what it is, I’m here.” he said, smiling at me, eyes dull now in disappointment and heartache. I stood up and sat down on his lap sideways so I could face him, putting my arms around his neck. I leaned my forehead on his and sighed under my breath.

“I’m so sorry, Eric. I didn’t mean to hurt you like this. I love you dearly but something’s just bothering me.” I said. He nodded and gave me a short kiss.

“You’re welcome to sleep here tonight. Nothing’ll happen, I promise.” he said laying back. I nodded and got off him, going around the bed to the other side. He sighed to himself and walked out of the room for a minute. I felt my heart sink. I’d killed him. I got into bed and turned towards the wall. I didn’t want to look at him in pain like this.

“Goodnight.” he said, suddenly in the doorway.

“Goodnight, Godsy.” I answered, closing my eyes. I fell asleep instantly with a sick feeling in my gut and a heavy heart.

I woke up early the next morning with a sick feeling in my chest. I was curled up in the sheets next Eric, who had his arm around me. I shrugged him off and slid out of bed quietly, heading across the hall to my room. The sick feeling in my stomach just got worse as I went down the hall to the kitchen. I felt like I’d fallen off a cliff and hit rock bottom and it was all because I’d made a mistake and lead Eric on.

I hadn’t meant to. I did love him. But I guess our love was different. Sighing to myself I pulled a glass out of the cabinet and got a drink, glancing at the clock to see that it was only 5:30. I knew I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep so I instead went back to my room and got dressed, pulling my hair up and leaving in my sweats and a fresh tank top.

Hopping out of the house, I shut the door quietly and headed off for a run in the dusk, the sun just barely coming over the horizon. It gave me time to think about everything that had happened. I couldn’t help but wonder if things between Eric and I would be different, if I had screwed things up. And another thought crossed my mind, one that made me almost stop and hit something in blind rage. Max. That whore last night had surely gotten into his pants and somehow that bothered me. I think it was just because I had seen her all over him. I didn’t particularly like him but seeing any girl grind on a guy like that made me a little sick and angry.

I shook it off as I ran down the street passed Sidney’s house. I thought about stopping and talking to him, since he always seemed to understand, but I sort of had the feeling that he was busy, so I kept going. I turned a few corners and saw Marc’s house come into view but I didn’t bother stopping to visit him either, knowing that he wouldn’t be awake after last night’s game. Eventually I began to feel my legs burning like someone had thrown me into a lake of fire and I decided to head back. I’d gone at least two miles now. That was a decent run for today.

Stopping to take a deep breath, I turned back around and headed for home, passing Marc’s house a few minutes later. His lights were on but I knew that he was just getting up. I checked my watch and it only read 6:30. Picking up the pace, I kicked it into overdrive and tried to get home, knowing that Eric would be waking up soon. I stopped a few houses away from Sidney’s and saw that he was just walking down the sidewalk in his running stuff, setting his watch to go off at 8. Him and his two hour runs. I rolled my eyes silently and ran up beside him, making him almost jump out of his skin.

“Hey.” he said, a little groggy from just waking up.

“Hey. Run home with me?” I questioned curiously, gesturing towards my house. He nodded and we took off, slowly at first.

“So..” he trailed off, looking over at me as we turned another corner and took the long way around. We knew that we were going to get caught up in talking. We always did. I glanced over at him and he slowed to a walk. Now I knew I was in trouble. He was going to lecture me. “I saw you and Gods last night at the club. He was all over you.” he finished, eyeing me curiously.

“Yeah…. We were trying to get back at Max for messing with me.” I said, a little embarrassed and unhappy that someone else had seen us. And then I felt myself mentally kicking my own ass. I shouldn’t feel bad that others had seen us. Eric was my best friend. I loved him. It had just been pointless vengeance between friends and an enemy. It didn’t matter… did it?

“Sure it was.” Sid started, rolling his eyes dramatically at me. “Why would Max want to mess with you, anyway? I thought he ‘hated’ your guts.”

“I don’t know, Sid. But last night he was grinding on some dumb blonde slut and he mouthed over that I knew I wanted that. So Eric agreed to help me get back at him for it. It’s just….. Confusing, actually.” I admitted, sighing in frustration. Sid patted my back soothingly and pulled me over to a bench that sat in the middle of a small park. We sat down and my head fell into my hands. I was so confused and mentally anguished. And Sidney knew it.

“You’ve got to understand that you’re special…” he started, forcing an odd sense of déjà vu to fall over me.

“Because Max treats me differently. I know all this already. That’s not helping me. I don’t know what he’s doing. He’s mean to me first then he tries to use girls to make me angry. I don’t know what he wants; my hatred, my admiration or my love.” I answered, dumbfounding Sidney for a minute as he thought about what he wanted to say next. His eyes softened as he looked over at me and a quaint smile turned up in the corners of his mouth.

“You never know with him. He’s just Max. He’s confusing and he likes it that way. Just try to be nicer to him or just ignore him. Anything to get you two to stop fighting.” he commented, standing up again. We’d only been sitting for a few minutes but I knew that Sid wanted to get going. And I needed to get home anyway, so I stood up beside him and we began to jog towards my house.

“I’ll try to be nicer but you’ve no idea how hard that is for me. We’ve never liked each other.” I told him as we edged nearer and nearer to my house. The lights were still off and I knew that Eric would still be in bed. Eric. What was I going to do about him? I’d killed him yesterday. But something had felt right. Something had clicked.

“Whatever works for you.” he answered as we reached my driveway.

He kissed my cheek and jogged away, waving over his shoulder. I waved him off and walked back into the house, closing the door as quietly as I could. I took off my shoes and went into the kitchen, taking a break for a minute before I decided to wake Eric up. It was 7:30 and I knew that he would be getting up at 8 anyway. He always did.

I walked back the hallway and into Eric’s room, finding him almost exactly as I had left him at 5:30 this morning, amidst a tangled mass of sheets and feather pillows. I took a breath and decided what I needed to do. I’d figured some things out. Sidney really was helpful. I was going to stay close to Godsy, not that I’d ever not be close to him, but closer than we had been before. I wasn’t going to let myself get too far in, though. I still had some things on my mind. Sighing off all these thoughts and readied myself and ran at the bed, making a diving leap and landing straight onto Eric. He screamed and his eyes shot open.

“I DIDN’T DO IT!” he squealed, looking around. I just laughed and hugged him.

“Good morning, Mon Ame!!” I said happily, smiling at him. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me as I put my head down on his chest.

“Morning, bijou.” he answered, clearly not still effected by last night’s events. He kissed my head and shifted his weight on the bed, almost making me fall off. I rolled off of him after a minute of unstableness and I hit the floor lightly. He turned his head down towards me and smiled, laughing a little. “You alright?”

I giggled to myself and stood up, dusting off my pants. “I’M GOOD!” I said excitedly, hand in the air. He laughed and sat up on the bed, almost falling backwards again. I caught him and inevitably fell into his chest. We lay there for as minute, neither one of us moving. Finally, Eric’s arms wrapped themselves around me and I heard his heartbeat quicken and then slow again as he regained control.

“No weirdness between us?” he asked, almost as if he thought I’d been lying to him when I’d agreed last night.

“I promised you and I wouldn’t lie to you.” I said reassuringly as I pushed myself up off of him. I gave him a short kiss on the lips before getting up off the bed and walking out of the room with him in tow. I made it back to the kitchen and we sat down together, drinking some coffee I’d put on before I’d left.

“Hmm…” he said thoughtfully, sipping his drink.

“What?” I asked, knowing that he was deep in thought about something important.

“Max’s birthday. It’s like……. Ten days away.” he finished, taking another drink. I gagged to myself and sipped my drink before answering.

“Woopdy fucking do for him.” I said, unphased, “What am I suppose to do, throw him a party?” I asked sarcastically. He sighed and looked over at me, eyes soft.

“You could be nice to him. It is his birthday. Just this one day. Please?” he begged, sticking out his lower lip and attempting the puppy face. I gave in and sighed in defeat.

“Fine. But I swear to god if he starts something I’m not going to promise I won’t fight with him.” I said calmly. Eric’s face brightened and he kissed my cheek.

“Thank you!” he said excitedly. I eyed him curiously and he explained. “All of us are going mad dealing with you two fighting like this. We all get headaches trying to listen to each other over the sounds of you two.” he covered himself. I knew he was telling a bit of the truth but there was still something he was hiding from me. I just rolled my eyes and let it go, knowing that he probably wasn‘t going to tell me about it anyway.

“Whatever.” I said, not realizing then that I was sighing my life away. Eric got up from his seat beside me and went to get dressed.

And everything that happened the rest of the day was like nothing. Eric and I went out to lunch at a café around the corner and ran into Jordan, who decided he wanted nothing more than to chill with us for the rest of the day. Around three we headed to the arena for a skate and found that Eric’s leg, while fine to walk on, was hell to skate on. He was definitely out for the next few games. We left there around five and headed back to my house to find Sid and Marc walking up the sidewalk. We wolf called them as they walked up to the drive and they joined our little group. Around seven, after we’d all eaten and such, Sidney made a decision for the rest of us.

“I think we should go clubbing.” Sid suggested, receiving smiles from everyone. I sighed and groaned unhappily, covering my eyes. Eric uncovered my eyes and smiled down at me, his other hand stopping the tracing of patterns on my stomach. I looked up from where my head lay in his lap and my eyes begged for him to say no.

“That’s a great idea, Sidney.” Eric said, defying my plea. I whined again and sat up.

“Meanie face.” I said, sticking my tongue out at Sidney, who jump tackled me from his place on the recliner and squeezed me to death.

“I love you too!” he squealed, rocking me back and forth.

“Ahhh… Sid… I love.... You…. but you’re….. killing me….” I said between gasps for air.

“Sorry.” he said, backing off me as I stood up and walked back the hallway to the sounds of Jordan wolf calling me.

“Jordy, I know I’m hot but at least wait until I get dressed for a party.” I called back into the living room.

“He might burst if he sees you look any hotter!” Sidney yelled back, getting a laugh from everyone else. I rolled my eyes and closed my door, quickly changing into my dark washed jeans and a simple black tank top with a silver Celtic design on the front. Stepping out of my room after fixing my makeup and straightening my hair the rest of the way, I came back down the hall in silence. I listened to the boys talk for a minute.

“She’s hot, dude! Why didn’t you…?” Jordan trailed off, voice stunned. I felt myself freeze for a minute and I listened intently as Godsy began to speak.

“Because I’m not going to do that unless she wants to. And she’s just… and we’re… I‘m….. Confused.” he answered sort of sadly. I felt my heart sink again for the second time today. It was then that I walked to just crawl into a hole an die.

“But you know if you don’t someone else will.” Marc pointed out. I heard a sigh that I knew to be Eric and a pause for thought.

“Yeah. I know.” he finally answered. I walked back down the hall and paced for a minute, trying to decide whether I really wanted to go out again tonight. Taking a breath I made a bunch of noise as I came back down the hall, not wanting to walk into that conversation again. Popping my head around the corner, I saw Jordan staring intently at where I was.

“C’mon. Come out.” he pleaded eagerly. I laughed and came out from around the corner. Jordan put his hand on his heart and fell over in his chair, dead. Sidney blinked a few times and Marc shot me an approving smile while Eric’s eyes traced my body over. I giggled and sat down on Jordan’s lap, making him come back to life.

“Heeeeyyyyy.” I said cattily, smiling at him. He smiled back at me evilly and hugged me.

“Tonight’s going to be fun. I can tell.” Jordan said approvingly with a childish nod. I got up off of him and almost instantaneously everyone was up and moving towards the door. Eric got to me as everyone else went outside and he pushed the door halfway closed, turning me around. I found myself surprised to see the lust in his eyes again, but then again I sort of knew I’d see it.

“You look hot tonight, mademoiselle.” he complimented, kissing my neck. I smiled as he stopped and kissed my lips once before smiling at me.

“Thank you, Godsy.” I answered, smile widening. He came closer to me and giggled a little to himself.

“I think I marked you.” he said, not explaining himself as he walked outside after everyone else, who had climbed into Sidney’s Range Rover and were eagerly awaiting us. I hopped into the back with Jordan and Eric, being forced to sit on Eric’s lap. He didn’t mind and truthfully neither did I. Sid pulled out and put the pedal to the metal as he tore down the streets of downtown Pittsburgh and turned onto a familiar road. We were going back to The Town Tavern.

“More Tavern fun again tonight, huh?” I asked softly. Sidney laughed and nodded.

“You can never have enough of that bar.” he said, smiling in the rear view mirror at me. I nodded in agreement and leaned back on Godsy’s chest, wondering what he’d meant by ‘marked’ me. And then it hit me. I put my hand on my neck and ran my fingers over my sweet spot. It didn’t feel red but I knew that it must be. Marked. I rolled my eyes and put my hands on his. He bent his neck down to my shoulder and his breath tickled my face as he waited for me to speak.

“Marked, huh. Thanks a lot, Eric.” I said sarcastically under my breath. He chuckled to himself and sat back again, surely rolling his eyes. Sid pulled into the parking lot of the tavern and parked, cutting the engine as we all jumped out of the car. I saw Sid, Marc and Jordan conversing about something but I didn’t bother asking. I didn’t really want to know.

We got inside and the fun started almost as soon as we set foot passed the bar. Marc was immediately taken away by a girl who wanted his number and Jordan was second to leave. I stood with Sid and Eric at the bar, earning glances from jealous girls and half drunk guys. Sid excused himself to go sit with a girl who was beckoning him over and Eric tapped out to go sit in our booth and drink for a while. I sighed and sat down at the bar. The barkeep, who was an admittedly half decent looking guy, came up to me and looked me over before speaking.

“Want a drink, beautiful?” he asked, eyeing me. I nodded and ordered a Jack Daniel’s and coke. I glanced around the bar and saw a familiar dumb blonde. The one that had been grinding on Max yesterday. I gagged a little and I thought I might throw up in my mouth until I saw her walking off with Marc. I felt a little rage flare up but it faded. Marc was easily forgiven.

I sighed to myself and turned back to the bar, glancing over all the alcohol behind the counter as the barkeep came back. “It’s on the house.”

“Thanks.” I said, sipping the alcohol lightly as I turned my attention back to where I’d seen the blonde leaving. And a familiar face caught my attention. Maxime. He was sitting, completely alone, at a booth across the bar. He had three glasses sitting around him but what he was drinking was just water so I knew he wasn’t drunk. There was no reason that he shouldn’t have five or six sluts with him. He wasn’t so drunk that he couldn’t see so he had to either be very sad or very sick. Either way something was wrong. Sighing to myself, I swallowed all my pride and every feeling that told me to just go punch him and I walked over slowly to where he was.

“Hey..” I said, unsure of how to approach him after so long.

“Uh…. Hey.” he said, surprised at the sudden nice hello. I sat down beside him and contemplated my next words carefully.

“Why don’t you have a whore?” I asked, unable to stop myself from insulting him. His face tensed up but then it relaxed. It seemed like he didn’t want to fight anymore either.

“I just…. don’t want a whore.” he admitted to me, meeting my eyes. His were still cold, as I’d always known them to be, but they were dulled and dead. Most of the time there was a fire burning but tonight there was nothing but emptiness. And in my moment of weakness, I said something I’d never said before.

“Whores don’t do you justice, Max.” And that was a first for me in three ways. I’d called him Max, I’d said it calmly and I’d told him what I had been thinking all this time. Sure, I’d been angry with him and I hadn’t ever really liked him after that first incident because he was a conceited son of a bitch but I knew that he could and should do so much better than the whores that he usually got. His brow furrowed as he looked at me to see if I was being truthful and then he sighed.

“It’s the best I can do. I’m a hypocritical bastard. You said so yourself.” he answered, voice still dead. I sighed. I’d never known that I was killing him like this. I always thought he took it just as well as he dealt it out, but apparently that wasn’t so.

“You still deserve better.” I insisted, reaching out without thinking and putting my hand on his. A smile turned up in the corners of his mouth but he suppressed it and looked up at me again, searching my face for any signs that I was joking. Finally he smiled at me and his eyes softened. And for the first time I found myself seeing the real Maxime Talbot. Not a hypocritical bastard with an agenda that only involved sex, money and whores. Not the same man that I’d hated all this time, the annoying, over baring, disrespectful, man-whore. But a man who had all the colorful emotions I’d never seen, all the feelings he’d been suppressing and a man who didn’t want to fight with me.

“Thanks for thinking so Miss Bi……… Bernie.” he said, look apologetic. “It’ll take some time to get used to that.” he admitted. We laughed together for a minute before a blonde guy who has slurring words asked me to dance. I rolled my eyes and told him to go away but he stayed and kept bothering me. Eric was across the bar so I couldn’t easily get him to go away that way, so I stood up and held my ground.

“Go away, dude. I’m not dancing with you.” I said firmly, glaring at him now.

“C’mon baby…..” he pleaded, clearly half drunk. I heard Max slide out of the booth behind me and he stood firm on my right.

“You heard her. She doesn’t want to dance with you. Get the fuck out of here.” Max said, voice unwavering. I felt a little surprised and I wavered as the kid walked away. I looked over at Max and for the first time I didn’t have the urge to punch him in the face. For the first time I had the urge to hug him.

“Thanks, Max.” I said softly, not used to being this nice to him. He nodded his head and walked over to the bar. I followed and the barkeep refilled my drink order, again on the house. I sat it down and looked at it, trying to figure out if I wanted to drink it or not. Max’s voice from beside me scared the crap out of me and I jumped.

“It’s not going to bite you.” he said sarcastically, accent thick.

“I know that.” I answered, pushing him to one side playfully. It was nice not feeling the need to kill him every time I turned around. He smiled at me and I smiled back and for the first time ever we laughed together. And in the middle of our enjoyment a blonde bimbo with a micro skirt that was too short, a shirt that didn’t cover enough and high hooker heels walked up to Max and threw her arms around his neck, straddling him in his chair. They seemed to know each other and I had to stop myself from just storming away right then and there. I watched this go on for a minute and I knew that Max probably wouldn’t leave the whore for me. He smiled for a minute before realizing he was still with me. He shook her off and she looked defeated as she walked past me, pushing me to one side.

“Bitch.” she said disdainfully.

“Whore.” I answered with equal hatred. Max just sighed.

“That’s going to take some getting used to, too.” he said, shaking his head. I looked over at him sympathetically and patted his shoulder. He’d just given up something he’d always had for someone he’d just gotten. That was… odd.

“Sorry for ruining your sex life, Max.” I said sadly. He laughed and looked over at me playfully.

“I think I need something in exchange for giving up my sex life like this.” he said deviously. I knew then that something was about to happen that I wouldn’t exactly like but I nodded.

“And that is?” I asked, curious and yet not at the same time.

“I’ll give up whores if you agree to give me a dance.” he said, offering me his hand as he stood up. I hesitated and looked him in the face.

“If you honestly expect me to bend over backwards like a slut you’re so wrong. I can’t believe you….” I started, anger flaring up. He shushed me and shook his head no.

“I didn’t mean grind me. I meant dance. Like a person. If I deserve better then you definitely deserve better.” he complimented. I felt myself almost be taken aback by his compliment but I took his hand and he lead me upstairs to the dance floor. We stopped somewhere near his favorite whore corner, which was surprisingly empty without all the sluts that usually over ran it. He let go of my hand just in time for ‘Fresh ‘83’ to start playing over the speakers. Looking defeated, he sighed. “Looks like I don’t get my dance.” he said, falling back into a chair.

“Oh come on. You think just because I’m not a whore I can’t dance?” I asked, cocking my hips to one side preppily. His eyebrows went up in a surprised look and he put his hand up to his face, stroking his growing mustache in thought.

“I’ve never seen you dance.” he admitted thoughtfully. “I have seen you all over Eric though.” he said, voice falling to an almost growl. I didn’t really notice, I just fell down to the floor and started to dance, stopping for a minute to look over at him. His eyebrows were raised in surprise and he looked impressed. “Dayyyuuummm.” he said, smiling at me again. His eyes now had life and he stood up, clapping his hands together.

“See, you don’t have to be a whore to dance.” I said, laughing as he shook his head childishly.

“You’re really good. C’mon and let’s dance.” he asked as the song changed to ‘Live At Jimmy’s’. I nodded at him and pulled him into the middle of a jumping room of people dancing. We found a spot towards the very middle of the floor and began to dance together, laughing when we messed up but mostly just turning some heads. As the song faded into ‘Far Away’ Max stopped dancing and looked over at me curiously.

“May I have this dance?” he asked, voice timid and meek. I looked over at him and his eyes were still on fire but they had dulled, unsure and uncertain. I nodded and he shakily put his hands on my hips as we began to dance. He was so shaky that eventually I had to start a conversation before he had a convulsion.

“You know, it’s really nice to not be fighting with you, Max.” I said under my breath. I think I startled him because he was dumbstruck for a minute before he composed his thoughts.

“Yeah. All that fighting was getting to me. You’ve got a way of making people feel horrible.” he half mumbled. I looked into his eyes and my eyes turned apologetic.

“Sorry. But you’re a man whore. Well…. You were a man whore.” I finished, making him smile and laugh.

“I think this is the beginning of a wonderful friendship.” he told me, pulling me closer. I let him do it and felt an electric shock run through me as we fit together snugly and kept dancing.

“Yeah..” I trailed off, unsure of the feelings that were coursing through me. I’d never felt any of them before but all of them were good. And Max’s voice scared me a little as he spoke over the sounds of the ever changing music.

“I’m glad Sidney made me come tonight….” he commented, trailing off as he saw the look of surprised on my face.

“Sidney…?” I asked, confused. He laughed to himself and shook his head.

“Sidney told me to come tonight and try to make amends with you. Didn’t you know about this?” he asked, laughing at the look of sheer confusion on my face. I knew it had to be a comical one for sure. I tilted my head to the floor and shook it.

“Sidney Patrick Crosby. The wrath of God will not match my own.” I mumbled. Max let out a disdainful sigh and he pulled away from me, causing me to instantaneously follow his movements. I saw his eyebrow raise and he came closer again, swaying in rhythm with me.

“What, you’re mad that we’re not fighting now?” he asked, sort of hurt.

“No no! I’m happy we’re not fighting, it’s just that…. I wish it would’ve just happened on it’s own.” I said carefully, being picking about my word choice.

“But it did happen on it’s own. No one forced you to tell me I could do better. Which, by the way, bijou, thank you.” he said, stopping our dance and wrapping me up in a hug. I hugged him back and after he let me go we headed back downstairs to have a drink and then went back up as the alcohol set in.

We danced together for at least an hour, taking drinking breaks every once and a while until Max finally got so drunk that he said something he would regret.

“Sweetheart, come heree.” he slurred, obviously half out of it now. He pulled me closer and tried to grind on me but I squirmed away, disgusted. I disregarded the fact that he’d been drinking and I pushed him away. After all this time drinking he should know how to control himself. He’d never acted like this with this much before, he wasn’t even close to his limit.

“Fuck you Max! I told you before, I’m not one of your little sluts!” I screamed at him over the music. He just gave me a smirk and came close again.

“Oh come on baby, just once.” he pleaded. I pushed him away and stormed off. All the rage that I’d lost for him flooded back and all hopes of ever being friends with him flew out the window. He could kiss my ass if he thought for one second that he could get me drunk enough to do shit like that with me. I stormed off and found Eric at the table, still sipping on what seemed to be his first drink. I slid in beside him and laid my head on his arm, feeling my anger turn to frustration and sadness. He immediately stopped drinking and put his arm around me, tilting his head over on mine.

“What’s wrong, babe?” he asked, concern running thick in his voice. I could tell that my suspicion was correct. He’d only had one. I felt a warm tear run down my cheek and his other arm wrapped around me.

“I made up with Max.” I started, another tear falling. He laughed to himself and the sound of his voice through his chest echoed in my ears.

“And you’re crying because you made up with someone you’ve been fighting with for forever?” he asked, sarcasm in his tone. I sighed and buried my face in his chest.

“No. I’m crying because I forgave him and he did the same thing he always does. He acted like a hypocritical bastard with an agenda that only involves sex. He was fine and then we started joking and he started trying to get in my pants, Godsy.” I said through tears, cuddling up in his chest now. His laughter stopped and he pulled away from me, something I wasn’t ready for. I sighed and felt like I was being abandoned until I felt his hand pulling me up out of the booth and towards the door. I kept my head down as we passed Sidney, Marc and Jordan, who where laughing and joking at the bar. Eric stopped and eyed them with what I knew had to have been a menacing stare.

“Great job, Sid.” Eric said icily as he took me out of the club to the sounds of Sidney asking what he’d done wrong. Eric pulled me out into the cold and we walked to the café we’d been at earlier that day. He took me around to one side to a table that was further back from everything else but when he sat down I just shrugged away, turning and walking towards home. It was a decent ten block walk and we went the distance in the quiet darkness with only the sounds of my sniveling to break the silence.

We made it back to my house in about a half hour and as soon as we got inside I headed for the couch with Eric following close behind. I sat down and he fell down beside me, pulling me over to him. And then I cried. I cried because I’d used him for my own agenda. I cried because I thought Max had changed and I cried because I didn’t know what else was going to happen.

“Shhhhh. Shhhh. It’s okay.” Eric soothed me, running his hand up and down my back. I curled up on the couch and buried my face in his hoodie. He pulled me into him and I kept crying for a good ten minutes before stopping, exhausted. I cuddled up to his chest again and he tilted my head up with his fingers and looked into my eyes, his own eyes watery. “It’s alright. Everything’s going to be alright.” he said calmly, kissing away one last tear that fell down my face. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him for dear life.

“I love you so much, Godsy.” I said, burying my face in his jacket again. His arms wrapped themselves around me and he kissed my head.

“I love you too. So much more.” he answered quietly.

We sat together like that for a long time, huddled together in each others’ arms. Finally, Eric leaned back against the edge of the couch and pulled me along with him. I lay on him and just sighed. He made me feel safe. Safer than I was with anyone else. And it was a great feeling.

And after a while I sat up, gaining Eric’s attention instantly. “Eric…” I started. His eyes opened a little and he looked me over curiously.

“Hmm?” he asked when I didn’t answer for a few minutes.

“Thank you.” I said, leaning up and giving him a kiss. It was safe and calm and it made me feel firecrackers going off down my spine. He pulled me up onto his chest and I snuggled up in his arms.

“No thanks needed.” he said softly, intertwining his fingers with mine, “But just one question.”

“What’s that?” I asked as his thumb rubbed my hand lightly.

“Who’s ass am I kicking, baby girl?” his voice was a comfort to me and I laughed under my breath.

“Well, you can start with Maxime Talbot.” I answered easily.

“Done.” he replied, kissing my cheek. I smiled to myself as Eric’s arms pulled themselves tightly around me. Finally, after we’d laid there for a long time, I heard him yawn, half asleep.

“Tired?” I asked rhetorically, not bothering to open my eyes and see his reaction. He chuckled and answered.

“I’m tired but I don’t have the will to get up and go to bed… Not that I want to get up.” His voice was calming and light and I cuddled into his hoodie, turning so that my back was on the couch and I could see him.

“Well that’s good because I’m not getting up.” I said quietly. He smiled at me and kissed my head.

“Then you don’t have to.” his face twisted in to loving smile and he hugged me tight before releasing me a little. We got comfortable and Eric hit the light, which inevitably fell off the stand and shattered on the floor.

“Wow Godsy. You really know how to make a night special.” I joked, yawning a little.

“Yep. You know it.” he laughed and with that, we both fell asleep.

The next few days went by faster than I thought they would. I’d gotten up the morning after and Eric and I had gone out to the café. He talked me down and made me feel a little better about the night before, slowly rebuilding my mental wall towards others. I’d let my guard down and he was trying to help me build it back up. The following Tuesday was our game against the Avalanche and we won 3-1. A party ended our night and everyone crashed at my house. Everyone, that is, except Max. I’d forbidden him to come near me and Eric had backed me up every step of the way. Godsy hadn’t even talked to him at practice Monday or when they were on ice.

Wednesday was uneventful and the rest of that week pretty much went by like nothing. Thursday we had a game against the Hurricanes and Saturday was our game against Montreal. The Hurricanes had put up no fight at all and we won our game with them on the road 5-3. Montreal, however, put up a much larger fight and we lost our game 2-1 in overtime. A road loss was never easy and I roomed with Eric that night for popcorn and a movie and we fell asleep after a long string of jokes and laughs. Sunday afternoon we were back in Pittsburgh and Eric and I parted ways for a while since I was meeting with Gilles and Dan to discuss plays and whatnot. Gonch had been taken out of the lineup due to injury so we had to call up Alex Gologoski from Scranton to take his place. Training him to work with our system was pretty easy and I was out of the Mellon by around five. I had supper with Eric at his house and crashed in my comfy feather bed across the hall from his room. Tuesday was the implementation of our new system and it seemed to be working as we took the Islanders down 9-2. And the party that night was one of the best ever. Sidney, Marc, Eric and I crashed at Sidney’s house with the blessings of Mario Lemiuex and his wife Nathalie.

I woke up late the next morning to the soft sounds of Eric snoring beside me and Marc wheezing from above me on the couch. I heard Sidney’s snores from the other end of the connecting couch and I sat up, yawning. Leaning back onto the floor, I curled up. I was completely freezing. I lay there for a minute, trembling in the cold before getting up with a blanket wrapped around me and walking into Sidney’s small kitchen. I turned on the coffee pot and sat down on a chair at the table. Putting my head down on the tabletop, I sighed and almost fell back to sleep. Almost. As the coffee pot started with it’s job I felt someone’s hands on my waist. I didn’t need to look up to see who it was.

“Morning, Godsy.” I said quietly, still half asleep. He kissed my cheek before sitting down next to me.

“Morning, mon petite bijou.” his voice was still rough and husky from sleep. That was one thing about Eric I’d always found pretty sexy. I smiled to myself before glancing up at him. He had a very goofy, very sexy grin on his face and he laughed a little to himself.

“Your little girl, eh?” I questioned, raising an eyebrow slyly. His smile widened and he patted his lap. I got up and sat down on him, putting my arms around his neck. In the last week since Max had ruined our friendship at the club Eric and I had become twice as close as we’d ever been. And personally, neither one of us had a problem with it.

“Yes, bijou, my little girl.” he answered, laying a feather light kiss on my lips. He broke it off but didn’t back away very far, still within inches of my face. “Have a problem with that?”

“Not one.” I said under my breath before giving him another kiss. I could feel him smiling into my lips and I smiled back as we broke apart again to the sounds of shuffling feet behind us. Godsy chuckled lightly to himself and I turned my head and peered out from under my hair to see Sidney and Marc standing, stunned, in the doorway. I didn’t say a word, I just nestled my face in Eric’s neck as his arms went around my waist.

“Morning guys.” Eric said, completely unphased by their looks.

“Morning Eric, Bernie.” Sidney said as he walked to the coffee pot and poured himself some coffee. Marc sat down in the chair I’d been in and patted my back.

“Nice to see you’re enjoying your day so far.” he joked. I picked my head up and spun around on Eric’s lap, sticking my tongue out at him.

“Oh shush!” I said playfully, pushing him a little. He laughed and shook his head.

“Whatever.” Marc mumbled quietly as Sidney sat four cups of coffee down on the table as he took a seat next to Marc. We all drank in silence for a few minutes before Sidney decided to break the serenity of the quiet.

“You guys know what today is, don’t you?” he asked, voice a little dull.

“Wednesday?” Eric asked, sitting his coffee slowly.

“February eleventh.” Sidney said immediately regretting it.

“Maxime Talbot’s birthday.” I growled under my breath.

“And the day of his party. Shit I totally forgot about that.” Marc said putting his hand over his face. I immediately tensed in Eric’s arms and he knew that I was getting a bit angry.

“Bernie, we just didn’t tell you because we knew you would…” Eric started before I interrupted him.

“You knew I would what? Avoid it at all costs? Yeah, I would. And you know exactly why that is, Eric.” I growled, voice low in my throat. Eric pulled me into his chest but I pulled away.

“He just wants you to be there. He doesn’t care if you talk to him or even look at him. But he knew that Eric wouldn’t want to leave you at home to come to his party. Besides, we want you to go.” Sidney said, voice light and pleading.

“I want you to go.” Eric whispered to me quietly. I took a breath and sighed.

“Please?” Marc’s voice was pleading, almost begging. They didn’t want to go without me. It was sort of sweet and yet kind of stupid.

“Fine… I suppose.” I answered after a long pause. Eric smiled and kissed my cheek as Sidney and Marc exchanged high fives.

“Awesome. We have to go get some clothes. Shopping trip!!” Sid squealed excitedly. I suddenly found myself lost.

“What?” I asked, confused.

“Max’s parties. They require some new clothes. Trust us.” Marc explained easily. I rolled my eyes and stood up.

“Does this mean a dress?” I asked sarcastically, heading back into the living room. No one answered me right away but I got my answer when Eric walked in behind me, hands on my hips.

“That depends. Do I get to help pick it out?” he whispered almost silently, voice sly. I smiled and put my hands on his.

“That depends. How long do I have to stay?” I answered with a question.

“Hmm… That depends. Do you still look hot in a dress? ‘Cause if I remember what you looked like last time I saw you in a dress, you don’t even have to go.” He told me, voice now smooth. I laughed and squirmed out of his grip.

“Well you’ll just have to see for yourself, huh?” I commented sarcastically, taking a shirt I’d brought over and some acid wash jeans into Sid’s bathroom and changing. By the time I got back, everyone else was ready to go and we headed out.

The mall was packed so we had to frequently stop for autograph signings and photo ops. Eventually everyone seemed to leave us alone and we finally got some shopping done. Eric, Sid and Marc found some nice suits and I managed to pull off a beautiful, simple and elegant black dress. It wasn’t whorish or slutty, but it was fitting and by the look on Sidney’s face as I walked out of the dressing room. Marc gave me the thumbs up while Eric was preoccupied looking down. Sidney nearly fell off his chair but he managed to stay up as I went back in. When I came out the second time, I bought my dress and we left the mall for home. We’d spent almost four hours there now and it was nearly 6.

We made it back to Eric’s around 6:45 thanks to the evening rush hour traffic and I was last in to the bathroom to change.

“You’re going to knock everyone dead!” Sidney yelled down the hall as I turned the corner into the bathroom. I rolled my eyes and closed the door, stripping down and changing in a few minutes. I sighed as I put on my makeup in the mirror. I paused for a minute to stare into my hazel eyes, now shown green under the bright lights of the mirror. The same green eyes I’d seen in the lights of the girls bathroom all through high school in between periods avoiding the whores and skanks who tormented me for not being one of them.

And I saw all the times I’d run away from school. All the times I’d run away from the boys who tried to get in my pants, the girls who’d tortured me for not conforming to their ways and the people who said I’d never do anything right. It was a sickening feeling remembering it all. I’d been a flirt and all my friends had noticed but I saw no problem in it. No harm done. Just flirting. But I’d gotten in over my head, gotten a hot shot boyfriend who only wanted sex behind the bleachers after his football games. We’d broken up in a nasty fight and he’d spread ugly rumors that ruined my life. I’d lost friends, been tormented by everyone and exiled from most everything for longer than I could imagine. Until I hit tenth grade. As soon as I started to not care and began to be myself and dress in a way that was a little more flirty I became wanted, needed. I was a trophy that no one could have. Untouchable. Unattainable. And through all that I saw the green eyes that I’d stared into the distance with for hours at night before passing out alone in the fields near the lake.

I came back from my thoughts in just enough time to finish my makeup before completely falling into my nostalgia. Sitting my make up bag back into my purse, I opened the door to the bathroom and walked down the hall, still phased by the sight of my eyes in the mirror. I had been so close to being a whore and I’d come so far. Now I was dressed like someone who could kill and I was hot. And I was successful and happy and loved and I didn’t need to be a whore. Smiling to myself, I walked down the hall and into the living room, not bothering to look around to see the look on everyone’s face. I put my bag down on the table and glanced over with a sexy stare into the eyes of three very lustful and immobile hockey players.

“What? No good?” I asked, smoothing the wrinkles in the dress out with my hands.

“No. I mean yes. I mean…. I don’t even know what I mean.” Sidney said putting his hand over his face.

“You look amazing.” Eric chimed in, saving Sidney’s life.

“Thanks.” I told him, smiling.

“You’re welcome.” he answered, standing up from the couch. “C’mon guys. We’re gonna be late if we don’t get moving now.”

“Uh… yeah.” Marc said, standing in unison with Sidney. I walked up to Eric and took his arm as he lead me up to the door, his ego growing with every step. I let go and stepped outside into the cold February air, heading immediately to my car. Eric hopped into his with Sid and Marc and pulled out before me so that I could follow them.

Being alone in the quiet of my car wasn’t exactly too good for me. It gave me time to think of everything that Max had ever done wrong, to me and my friends. I could’ve almost hit something and I probably would have had I not been driving. Eric pulled up to a large house outside of the buzz of the city that had what looked to be a bouncing party inside. I saw a group of girls in extremely short red and blue dresses walking up the sidewalk and I knew that I was probably the only girl of tact here, excluding the wives and girlfriends of the team.

Jumping out of my car, I smoothed the wrinkles in my dress again and as they disappeared, so did my worries about Max. I was just here because Eric wanted me here. I wasn’t here for Max. I didn’t even have to look at him. He’d said it himself.

Eric came up to me and offered me his arm again. I took it and stood straight, ready to take on the world and if that included Max, I was ready for that too.

“Thanks for coming, sweetheart.” he whispered as Sid and Marc walked around the house to the yard where I knew the party was. He stopped and unlaced his arm with mine, looking me up and down lustfully. “You look positively stunning.”

“Thanks. You look pretty sexy yourself.” I said, fixing his shirt before looking up and smiling at him. He leaned down slowly and kissed me. It reminded me of a seventh grade kiss. So naïve, so innocent. He broke it and pulled me into him so that we were just barely touching. But that touch was just enough to send shivers up my spine.

“You know, we don’t have to go.” he said, voice full of something that I assumed to be his hormones talking. I rolled my eyes.

“I didn’t dress up like this to not make Maxime Talbot’s life a living hell. Now come on, Eric.” I said, waving his look off as I pulled him towards the back yard. He came reluctantly and we took a seat at a table that was sitting near a tree. The whole yard was decked out with Japanese lanterns that gave off an eerie yet enticing glow over the grass and everyone who was sitting down, enjoying the surely catered food. There was a band playing on a makeshift stage and a dance floor had been set up in front of it. I sighed and sat quietly with Eric, looking over the scene. It seemed so serene. So simplistic.

“I’m going to get something to drink.” Eric said, getting up from the table and heading for the food across the yard.

“Okay.” I said gently as I leaned forward on the table, hands folded under my face. I sat quietly for a minute before I heard the sounds of a egotistical bastard. Max’s voice floated into my ears from somewhere behind me along with the giggles of some slutty broads who also wanted in his pants. He stopped a few feet behind me and waved his girls off, coming over and sliding around the table to face me. I glared up at him but said nothing. I was going to honor my promise to Eric and Sidney. I was going to try to be nice to him, no matter how much I wanted to rip him to shreds.

“Hey! Nice to see you here. You look great.” he said in a seemingly complimentary way. I nodded and kept glaring as he sat down. I felt myself twitch but I just watched him, hoping he would just go away. But he didn’t. “Thanks for coming tonight…. And listen. I am so sorry for what happened the other night at the club. I didn’t mean to do that to you.” he said voice calm. I felt anger flare up in me and I suppressed it as much as I could but it was still underlying. It was still sort of there.

“I’m sure you are.” I spat icily. He seemed taken aback by my bitterness but he went on.

“I’m serious when I say that I want us to be friends. I don’t want to fight with you anymore about stupid things. I don’t care if you’re a whore or not. That doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.” he said, trying to get through his whole thought. I stopped him though.

“I don’t want to fight with you anymore either, Maxime, but you have to stop and realize that I’m not going to go through dealing with your shit every time you get drunk at a club. And if all you want from me when your drunk is sex then some truth lies within your sober mind too.” I said, looking over his head to where Eric was, coming back to the table with an armful of water and food.

“Excuse me?” Max asked, voice raising. He was angry now. But this was what I’d wanted. Confrontation. I’d brought this one on myself. “Not everyone thinks like that. What if I actually think you’re a decent person? What if I actually want to spend time with you without having the hope that I’ll get laid?” he asked, angry. Eric stopped dead a few feet from the table as I stood up and got close to Max’s face.

“I’ve seen how you act with women. There’s never been one time that you have ever spent time with someone of the opposite sex without wanting something in return. Don’t give me that line of shit.” I hissed through my teeth, anger simmering. His eyes turned cold and he growled back.

“You’re a bitch with a pole up her ass and you need a life. Go get laid or something. Maybe that’ll loosen you up.” he answered, voice low and menacing.

“Oh fuck you, Maxime!” I screamed, throwing down the napkin I’d been holding and storming off through the yard towards my car.

I hopped in to the sounds of Eric and Max fighting at the table but I didn’t care. I just wanted to be home. And I wanted to be home now. I tore out of the driveway and through the side streets into downtown. I pulled recklessly through the streets towards home, not bothering to watch out for anything. I was way too frustrated and pissed off to notice anything. My phone began to ring with Eric’s ringtone but I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to answer him. I didn’t want to take my aggression out on him.

Pulling down the street that went passed the Mellon, I pulled through a stop sign. Big mistake. Just as I pulled through, another car flew down the alley and slammed right into the passenger’s side of my car. And then I blacked out. The last thing I remembered was the sound of crackling glass and snapping metal as my Jaguar convulsed and twisted into a shredded mass of what used to be a car. The last thought I had was of the lake I’d stared at with my beautiful green eyes.

><><Eric’s POV><><

“Why do you have to be such an asshole all the time to her, Max?!” I yelled through rage I couldn’t completely understand.

“I didn’t do this to her man! She started it with me! I just tried to apologize and she jumped on me!” Max answered, keeping his voice low.

“I’m so sure. I heard about everything that happened at the club the other night. You really killed her. She let her guard down for you. And you repaid her by treating her like another one of your little sex toys. Well sorry for you, Max, but she’s never going to come to you. Ever.” I said, starting out angry and ending quietly, voice lowering to a whisper as a sudden sadness flooded me. “She cried herself to sleep, Max.”

“I had one too many and I did something I regret and… and…. And she.. She.. Cried herself… to sleep?” he asked, suddenly confused.

“Yeah, Max. She did. Because everyone in high school made fun of her because she wasn’t a whore and just as she thought she’d gotten somewhere with her life that she could be sophisticated and have friends that cared for her without her being a slut, you cut her down by treating her like another one of your sluts.” I answered, venom returning.

“I didn’t know.” Max said, sitting back down in thought.

“Yeah. You didn’t know. But you should’ve treated her better.” I answered, pulling my phone out of my pocket and calling her on speed dial. I tried the phone six times, three times more than it ever took her to answer me. I put the phone away and ran out towards my car.

“Where are you going?” Max called over to me. I waved him off but he followed me anyway.

“I’m going to get her. She’s not answering her phone.” I shot back, getting into my car. Max took hold of the handle on the door and I couldn’t pull out, so I pressed the electric door lock and he got in.

“How do you know she’s not just not answering you?” Max asked, still a little vicious. I glared at him, brow furrowed.

“Because. She always answers me. Always.” I said, emphasis on the last word. He sat back, knowing that I was serious and angry and strapped himself in. “You’re leaving your own party?”

“No one will notice. The girls are all over the guys. No one will notice I’m gone until later tonight when they want to know if they can use the upstairs rooms to get laid.” he said, voice dulled out now.

“Whatever. Just shut up and you won’t get punched.” I growled, pulling out and turning down the streets that I knew she would take. I’d been with her on many a driving binge and I knew enough of her tendencies now to know where she’d be. I turned up the hill that lead to the Mellon and I stopped dead in a silent intersection. My heart stopped.

The top of the hill was ablaze with lights from the Police cars, Fire trucks and Ambulances. Max looked up and sighed. “Wow. Bad accident.” he said, looking over at me nonchalantly. I nodded and drove closer, praying to God that my suspicion wasn’t right. But as we approached I saw the ambulance drive away with the police and the side of a black jaguar showed through the lights. I stopped and instantly fell into tears. “What’s wrong, dude?” Max asked, confused. He looked up and over the accident, obviously not knowing what the problem was.

“That was her car!” I screamed in frustration, “She was in that car, Max! She was in that car and it got crushed! She got…… Oh God, no.” I said through free flowing tears. Max’s eyes widened and I saw the look of shock and despair.

“Well don’t just fucking sit there! Drive to the fucking hospital!” Max screamed, hitting me. His sudden flare of anger didn’t effect me as I pulled out and drove quickly towards the hospital. I didn’t ask any questions, I just drove. I floored it across down and got to the hospital’s parking lot quicker than I thought possible. I turned in and parked hastily, practically throwing myself out of the car as I ran towards the ER’s doors. They slid open and I ran inside, Max on my tail. I ran up to the desk and stood there, wiping away tears as a nurse looked up at me, unphased. She seemed a little out of breath and was hurriedly filing through some papers, preparing to run back away from the desk at any minute.

“What’s the problem, sir?” she asked, glancing over at Max before looking back at me.

“My friend, she was just in an accident. I need to see her. Where is she?” I asked, mind racing faster than my heart.

“Name?” she asked, looking down at her papers.

“Bernadette Armstrong. She was just brought in. Please.” I begged. She looked up at me coldly but then her eyes softened.

“And what’s your relation to her?” she questioned, seeming a little more concerned about who I was than what I wanted to know. It frustrated me to no end, which was a place I didn’t need to be right now. Before I could even say anything Max spoke up for me. His voice was harder than mine and he seemed a little more in control. “He’s her brother.”

“She’s in the Emergency room for surgery. Internal bleeding in the liver and a punctured lung along with a possible concussion and multiple deep wounds on her arms and legs.…” she trailed off as I leaned forward hoping for some bit of information that would give me solace. Her eyes softened as she put her hand on mine. “If I hear anything else, dear, I’ll find you. I‘ve got to go back to the ER. My pager‘s ringing off the hook.”

I couldn’t talk. I went back outside and stood in the cold, now sick to my stomach. I walked to the alley and threw up. I couldn’t stand this. She was in surgery. She’d been in a life threatening crash. She’d been angry. She’d been reckless. And then, from that thought, I felt the anger within me welling up. She’d been in a crash because Max had fought with her. He’d treated her badly. He’d caused all this. It was all his fault.

“Max!” I screamed as he stood, completely void of emotion beside me.

“What?” he asked, cold to the world.

“This is all your fault!” I yelled, picking him up by his collar.

“This is no one’s fault! It was something bad that happened! I didn’t tell her to drive! I didn’t tell her to run a stop sign! I didn’t tell her to get herself killed……” he trailed off, tears falling down his face. I put him down and loosened my grip on his shirt, tilting my head towards the ground and crying.

“It’s your fault that she’s going to die…” I said, heart falling through my stomach and onto the ground. Max shook me by my shoulders and yelled in a loud voice that gradually faded.

“She’s not going to die. She’s strong…. She’ll make it….” he told me, voice trying to be unwavering. I nodded, not really believing him but wanting to. I shook my head and wiped my eyes. I felt so helpless. And for the first time in my life I felt powerless to do anything. It was a feeling I loathed from the beginning.

“We need to call everyone.” I said. Max took my phone from my hands as I began to try and dial the numbers. I was so shaky that I kept missing the keys.

“You need to go be with her and wait for news. I’ll call everyone. You can’t do this. Just go see how she is.” his voice was soft and I looked up into his face. It was creased with worries that ran deeper than I thought they would and I nodded.

“You’re sure…?” I asked, confused.

“Yes. You need to be with her. Now go.” he said, shooing me. I left him in a rush, running back inside as he dialed numbers.

“Nurse. Nurse!” I said, calling the woman who’d spoken to me.

“Yes? Oh, it’s you. Your friend will be in room 125 when she gets out of surgery. It’s a private room so you can go in now and wait for her.” she said, turning and walking away quickly towards the doors that lead to the ER. I bolted down the halls and found the room with ease, throwing the door open and almost expecting her to be there. But all I found was the emptiness of a dark room. And that’s when I felt it. The sheer regret. The feeling that I could’ve done something. I fell into tears and my heart ached like it never had before.

Twenty minutes later I heard the door handle turning and my head snapped up hopefully only to find a distraught Marc, Sidney, Kris, Jordan, Geno and a cold as stone looking Max. Max handed me my phone back and everyone else took a seat in a chair that was readily available. I couldn’t stop myself from crying but I knew that now wasn’t the time to be worried about my own foolish ego. They’d all understand it. She was my best friend.

“Did you get any word on her yet?” Sidney asked, tears welling up in his eyes.

“They said she had some….. Internal bleeding and…” I trailed off, wiping away the never ending flow of tears, “a punctured lung with a concussion and some deep wounds….. They said she was in surgery…”

“Oh God….” Marc said, breaking down in tears. I looked up and Kris came to my aid, hugging me. Normally I would’ve pushed him away but right then it was exactly what I needed.

“There’s nothing you could’ve done, dude. Don’t blame this on yourself.” he said as I clung to him. I usually hated consolation but this wasn’t usual.

“But she’s dying, Kris……… She’s everything I have…..” I said, letting him go and wiping my face again, putting my head in my hands. I heard Max’s footsteps leaving the room and the door close again. I felt the urge to go after him but the effect gravity was having on me now prevented it. I don’t think I could’ve gotten up out of my chair to save my own life right then.

“She’s not dying, Eric. Don’t think like that.” Jordan said, choking back tears.

“I try not to… but if I lose her…. I… I just……” I said, inhaling a deep breath as the tears multiplied. We sat in wait for a long time, nearly two hours until movement stopped us. The nurse from earlier came in and found me, taking me by the shoulders.

“You’re friend…. Miss. Bernadette.” she started slowly. I looked up, heart stopping with her words.

“Yes?” I asked desperately through a cracking voice. Her eyes softened and she smiled at me. I felt as though she were mocking me but listened as she spoke.

“She’s made it from surgery. She’s not going to be awake and she’s been unconscious since the crash but she’s going to make it. We’ll monitor her through the night because this is the most dangerous time for her. We’re going to bring her back in but only one of you can stay. She’s in no condition for all of you. It’ll send her into shock if she wakes up.” she finished. I felt my heart soaring. She was breathing. She was living. The others didn’t say anything at all, they just stood and left, leaving me alone with the nurse in Bernie’s room. The nurse let me go and wiped away a tear as it fell. She was a lovely older woman, maybe in her mid 60’s with a grandmotherly attitude. I smiled and wiped my face in relief as she spoke again. “This girl. Is she your sister?”

“No. She’s my best friend.” I answered easily, wiping away tears of fear and happiness. She nodded.

“And you really care for her so?” she asked, moving some things around in the room to make it easier to access.

“I don’t care for her.” I answered firmly, “I love her.”

“Love is many a splendid thing, yes? It’s wonderful to see someone who cares so much for another. And your other friend, the one who came in with you, he is her brother?” she asked through a thicker accent than I’d noticed before.

“No. That’s the person she hates most.” I answered, no longer feeling anger towards Max. Her face contorted in confusion.

“For someone who is hated he is taking this hard.” she answered simply, not giving me time to ask questions as she walked out. The doctors came in and brought with them Bernie on a bed. Her black dress no longer on her delicate body but instead it was in typical hospital attire, covered in wires and Ivs, blood and stitches. They left immediately and as soon as the door closed I fell into a chair beside her, taking her hand and kissing it a million times before putting my head on her chest and crying as I listened to the slow steady beating of her heart. It was the only thing that told me she was still alive, the only thing that assured me in the silence of the room that she was going to be alright. And in minute I was out cold, emotionally and psychologically drained.

The next days went by slowly. I watched over her like a hawk, and every time she moved a new way I was beside her, hoping she’d open her eyes, but it was to no avail. Thursday came and went and I cleaned up the blood from her face. She had a large cut above her eye and gouges on her arms and legs. Her bandages had to be changed where they’d operated to re-inflate her lung and stop the bleeding inside her. I left when they changed them out of courtesy for her but I never left once for food and I skipped Thursday’s practice. The nurse came back once and a while to bring me a drink or a bag of chips but I couldn’t eat.

Friday was also uneventful but I didn’t leave her side. Sidney and Marc came by around lunchtime and dropped off a vase full of flowers with a card before leaving for an optional practice and a press conference about Bernie’s accident. I’d been asked to attend but I’d declined and they respected my wishes, leaving me alone. And the night came and went and I stayed awake, making sure that I would be up when she awoke.

Saturday became the day of surprises as I woke up. I didn’t remember going to sleep and I jumped as I awoke, having a nightmare about the crash again and again. I woke to the sounds of the door opening and I believed that it was Bernie but when I turned around I saw that it was Max. He stood, in his trench coat, eyes empty, with a single pink rose in his hand. He twirled it in his fingers and put it down in a vase of water that had been placed on the nightstand beside Bernie’s bed. He looked down over her but didn’t let his eyes linger for too long as he came around the bed to me.

“Eric, I need you to do something for me.” he said, pulling a note out of his pocket. I nodded quietly and took it from him lightly.

“What?” I asked, calm from sleep.

“Give that to her when she wakes up. Don’t read it just make sure she gets it. I can’t stay but call me after she reads it. You’ll know why. Alright?” he asked, voice void of any emotions. I nodded again and he headed out of the room. I sat the note down beside the bed on the other stand and looked down at Bernie. She was still unconscious and I kissed her hand. She was putting me through all sorts of hell and I felt the creeping doubt of fear seeping into my brain. The doubt that she would live.

“You have to get through this. You’ve got people who need you.” I told her, though I knew she wouldn’t answer. “I need you.”

And the day floated by. Her bandages were changed and the nurse brought me more food, to which I said thank you but sat it aside, only drinking the warm tea she’d given me. Morning faded to noon and noon had soon fell to night. I tried to stay awake but I couldn’t keep my eyes open and so I dimmed the lights down and took her hand, falling asleep beside her.

><><>< Late Saturday Night;; Bernie‘s POV><><><

My eyes fluttered open to the sounds of a beeping heart monitor and a dripping IV. I opened them up completely, blinking hard through a brain splitting headache. Glancing around I saw a dim room full of flowers and cards. A window sat to my right and it looked out over the city I loved most. And to my left I felt someone holding my hand but I was still too woozy to know exactly who it was. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, feeling sharp pains run up my spine and I screeched.

“AHHHAH!” I screamed sharply, hands flying to my left side. I didn’t remember anything after driving up the hill. I’d been going along and then I was here. Nothing in between. And then I realized where I was. I was in the hospital. What had happened?

“Huhh…?” Eric’s dizzy voice asked as he lifted his head to see me clutching my side. I watched as his eyes lit from their dullness and he jumped forward, standing up and falling to tears.

“It hurts, Godsy!” I squeaked, crying in pain. He looked up at me and took my hands, pulling them away from my sides and kissing them over and over.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s your stitches.” he assured me, tears rolling down his face now in a never ending stream. I raised my eyebrow and found that my face ached as much as my side did. Cringing back I finally felt my legs and my arms and I screamed in pain.

“Stitches?” I asked through the pain as the nurse came in and called to another outside. They rushed in and hooked something to my IV that made the pain dull and I could then focus on Eric as they left.

“You crashed your Jaguar and you punctured your lung and had some internal bleeding in your liver and spleen. And you have a concussion and a lot of really deep wounds….” he trailed off, kissing my hands again, tears still falling. I felt myself be taken aback in shock.

“I…. crashed my….. Jaguar…..?” I asked, still in shock. He nodded and moved his chair so that he was as close to my face as he could be. Tears were falling harder now and I pulled him over to me, putting his head on my chest and running my fingers through his hair lightly, suddenly feeling the overbearing energy loss. I was still fairly immobile, only being able to lift my hand up a few inches over my body on my own free will. I shushed him as his sobs grew louder. “Shhh shhh. Godsy, what’s wrong? I’m okay. I’m here.” I tried to comfort him. He shook his head as I continued to run my fingers through his hair soothingly.

“You’ve been unconscious since Wednesday. I was so worried about you. Everyone’s worried about you. I haven’t left, I haven’t eaten and I’ve barely slept. I thought you were gone…..” he said, tears still flowing. I stopped for a minute, confused.

“Wednesday? But…. Isn’t it Thursday…?” I asked dizzily.

“It’s Saturday.” he managed through a cracking voice, looking up at me as his eyes overflowed with tears of relief and joy. I closed my eyes and my head was reeling. I’d been unconscious for three days. I felt tears dripping onto my face as Eric’s lips touch my own lightly, his tears soaking my face and chest. He backed up and kissed my head, wiping away tears. I opened my eyes and looked over at him, sleepiness kicking in.

“I’m so sorry I worried you like that……. I just….. I was so angry…. And I went too fast….. And I wasn’t paying attention… And I….. And I…..” I trailed off as Eric put his head down on my stomach and held my hand again.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. You’re alive. You’re awake. You’re talking to me. You’re breathing.” he said firmly, kissing my hand again.

“Godsy……” I said through a sore throat. He shushed me and I dozed in and out from sleep to consciousness. I fell back to sleep and woke up the next morning to the sounds of Godsy’s feet moving across the floor to the window.

“Mmmm…. My head……” I whined, raising my hand up to my face and finally feeling the bandages.

“Bernie…” Eric’s voice was jumpy and a tear fell down his face. But just one fell before he wiped it away and came back over to me. He pushed my hair back out of my face and kissed my head. “I was just going to wake you… you’ve got visitors….”

“Visitors….?” I questioned, still dizzy from sleep.

“Can we come in, Gods?” A familiar but not quite identifiable voice said from behind the closed hospital door.

“Yeah.” he called over, sitting down beside me and holding my hand as a few people came in. I heard them but I only opened my eyes when the movement stopped and I heard sniffling.

Opening my eyes I saw Sidney, Marc, Jordan and Kris standing in front of me. Sidney fell back into a chair, tears streaming just as they had from Eric’s face yesterday. Kris covered his mouth with one hand and wiped away a few tears and Marc sat down on the bed next to my left leg, sitting one hand lightly on my stomach while Jordan practically jumped on me. He pulled me forward and I screamed in pain as my body twisted too quickly.

“JORDAN!” Eric screamed, voice full of automatic rage.

“Oh! I’m so sorry!” he said, letting go and backing up. I nodded and made myself comfortable again. Marc’s hand ran over my stomach lightly and he smiled at me, face creased with all the worries he’d had.

“How’re you feeling?” he questioned, looking me over and cringing as his eyes found every bruise and wound I had.

“Like I just got hit by a car.” I answered blatantly. Sidney shook his head and kissed my cheek.

“Don’t even joke about that.” he told me firmly. I nodded and his face faded into a smile. “We were all so worried about you.”

“I heard.” I said, sliding down in bed a little, back suddenly aching. Eric shot up and moved me to my left but I didn’t question him as he sat down again.

“They caught the guy that hit you.” Kris said under his breath, more to everyone else than to me.

“Wait… what’d he do wrong? I ran the sign….” I said, confused.

“He was three times over the legal limit of alcohol and you had the right away.” Kris growled angrily under his breath. I cringed back but his face softened again. “I’m not mad at you. But that son of a bitch is getting a piece of my mind when I see him next…” he trailed off.

“I’m going to beat his face I….” Eric started before a nurse walked in.

“Alright, men. I know we’re all excited to see Miss Bernadette awake but we need to change her bandages. Please, if you’ll all leave.” she asked politely. They all complied after giving me a variety of kisses, hand squeezes and good words. Everyone left except Eric, who waited until everyone else had gone to kiss me one more time before leaving me with the nurse. She closed the blinds and came over to me.

“Deary, you really had them all worried.” she said, lifting up the blankets to reveal my side and the bandages. I looked away as I didn’t wish to see what had happened to me.

“I know….” I trailed off, guilt plaguing my consciousness.

“Lordy, child. That one boy looked like he’d just seen the devil.” she said through her thick Louisiana accent.

“Eric? Yeah he said he’s been here the whole time….” I said, seeing Eric’s face in my head. She shook her head no, leaving me puzzled.

“No, child. The other boy that came in. What was his name? Plays hockey for the Pens… Looked real fancy like. Shoot, he looked about ready to die.” she said, finishing with my bandages and trying to walk out.

“Wait, wait!” I called over to her. She turned and looked back, waiting for me to speak.

“What’d he look like?” I asked, curious.

“Sho, he looked like a ghost. Five o’ clock shadow with some icy blue eyes. Shoot, I know his name. Someone told me his name…” she trailed off into thought, now confused herself.

“Crosby… Staal…. Letang….. Fleury….. Gonchar…… Orpik……Whitney…… Kennedy…… Bylsma…… Yeo……. Lemiuex…….. Malkin….” I started, naming off everyone I could think of that would be worried. She denied all those names so I said the only other people I could think of. “Shero…… uhm….. Talbot?”

“Talbot! That’s his name. Child, he was as white as a sheet. Left here as soon as everyone else came on Wednesday. Came back on Saturday though. Left you that flower, there.” she said, pointing over to the table where a vase full of lilac and daffodils sat. I looked around and finally saw a small vase beside it holding a single pink rose. I stared at it as she left and Eric came back in, sitting down beside me and taking my hand.

“What’re you looking at?” he asked, confused as he tried to follow my gaze.

“The flower….. A rose…. Max brought it for me..?” I questioned, lost.

“Yeah… he came by yesterday afternoon, come to think of it. Left the rose and a note…. Where’d I put it…?” he asked, searching his pockets and pulling out a small letter. He handed it to me and stood up, “Speaking of Max, I was suppose to call him.” he said, walking out.

I didn’t say anything, just brushed my fingers over the letter lightly before unfolding the page and seeing Max’s scribbled handwriting on it.

‘Bernadette,

By the end of the letter I was in tears. Eric walked back in and he was at my side in a minute but as he took my hand I felt the ache of loss in my heart. It hurt more than any of my injuries did. I looked over to Eric and I kissed him, taking a few deep breaths before wiping away tears.

“Eric, give me your phone, will you?” I asked, looking into his eyes. He nodded and handed his phone to me, turning away to fix the blinds. I quickly texted Max.

‘Max, Bernie wants to see you. She said it herself.’ I typed before sending it. I didn’t have to wait long for a reply.

‘But I told her I wouldn’t come to see her again. -Max’

I answered as quickly as I could. ‘But she said she wanted to see you. Don’t ask questions, Max, just come.’

‘Fine. Ten minutes.’ he answered. I handed Eric his phone back and he looked at me curiously.

“What was that about?” he asked, confused.

“Didn’t you read the…?” I started before he finished my thought.

“No. Max told me not to so I didn’t. He just told me to call him after you read it.” he finished me, putting his phone away.

“I see.” I answered quietly, sliding down into bed. I was so uncomfortable in hospitals. I’d always been. Since I was a child I’d had more traumatic accidents in twenty one years than most people had had in their whole life time. I’d broken all my ribs, all of my fingers, punched a nerve in my spine three times, almost broken my neck, had appendicitis and a variety of other illnesses that resulted in long hospital visits. I was starting to get sick of this crap. Eric just took my hand, knowing that I was reminiscing in my own thoughts, and he sat quietly beside me, staring out the window.

I glanced over at him and saw the lines of worry in his face from the last few days. Put together with the dark circles under his eyes he looked about ten years older and like a detoxing heroine addict. But I knew that he wouldn’t have been anywhere else besides right there with me. We’d be friends since I was born and I’d never even been sick without having him breathing down my neck. And then, a moment later his face contorted into a smile as he realized that I was staring at him.

“You might want to take a picture. I’m pretty sure it’d last longer.” he said sarcastically, looking over into my eyes.

“What’re you talking about. You’re Godsy. You’re never gonna die.” I said with childish confidence. He laughed to himself and squeezed my hand.

“Thanks but I’m pretty sure I have an expiration date.” he said, jumping as the door handle turned. It stopped mid-turn and Max’s empty voice called in.

“Eric, if I come in, can you leave?” it asked, void of everything.

“Uhm…” Eric trailed off, looking at me for consultation. I nodded and he stood up, looking back at me once more to make sure I was okay.

“It’s okay. Go.” I said, waving him off. He went to the door and opened it before Max came in. The door closed and Max stood in the doorway for a minute, looking down at the floor. I looked him up and down. He was in his old worn out jeans and a blue pens shirt that looked like it had been well worn. His hair was tussled and looked like it hadn’t been cared for at least in the last day, if not longer. His face was low and his eyes were dark and bloodshot. He didn’t look up until I spoke, seeming deep in thought.

“Max?” I asked timidly, simply trying to get his attention to come off his shoes. And in that instant when he heard my voice that I realized why he wasn’t looking at me. He was crying. Tears fell easily off his face and hit his shoes and pants. But… he’d hated me. Why would he be upset at all?

He didn’t answer me but he looked up and I could see the reason his eyes were bloodshot and red. He’d been crying what looked to be non stopped for days. I looked him over with a heavy heart and put my hand on the chair next to me, inviting him over. He was hesitant but he took a few steps forward before stopping a foot away from my bed. “I shouldn’t be here.” he said under his breath, doubting my invitation.

“I wanted you to be here.” I assured him, patting the chair. He came over and sat down, quickly wiping the tears from his face with his hands before looking at me, void of emotion again.

“Why?” he asked coldly. I furrowed my brow, confused as to why he was hiding his emotions.

“Because I wanted you to know that it wasn’t your fault that this happened. You can’t put something like this on your conscious when it wasn’t your fault. It’ll eat away at you.” I told him, reaching out and brushing away a tear that escaped his self control. His face fell into my hand and he closed his eyes at my touch, opening them when I pulled away. I’d never hated Max, just disliked him. And even I didn’t want him to feel this way. My stomach turned just looking at him now.

“But it was my fault.” he stated, more at himself than at me. “I fought with you. I was inconsiderate. I was egotistical. I was greedy. I was jealous. I was angry. I was so many things…….. So many things……” he trailed off, face dropping into his hands. I heard him sobbing in a few minutes and I sighed, pulling him closer to me. He was easily moved and he leaned over onto the bed, head next to my stomach.

“Max….. you didn’t do this. I didn’t do this. It was no one’s fault. It just happened. It was meant to happen. Everything happens for a reason. It’s just another bump in the road.” I tried to comfort him. He tilted his head up and met my eyes with eyes that showed the sorrow of days of a tormented conscious. The usually icy blue ponds that were his eyes now looked like reddened pools of fire. And I felt a tinge of pain twist I my heart for him.

“This was not meant to happen. I did it. It’s my fault. I hurt you. I did this…” he started again before I put a finger to his lips and stopped him. His eyes searched mine in confusion but I shushed him.

“Max. You didn’t do this. And that’s that. It was an accident.” I insisted. “But I suppose it wasn’t exactly the ideal birthday present.” His eyes closed in thought for a minute as I pulled my hand away and he spoke in a whisper so soft that I almost didn’t hear it.

“This is not what I wanted for my birthday….” he whispered to himself, almost expecting that I wouldn’t hear him. I sighed and looked at him with soft eyes, eyes that I’d never been able to see him with. This was a side of Max I was completely unfamiliar with. A side of him that I wanted to see more of. A side I would’ve loved to explore.

“And what did you want for your birthday, Max?” I asked quietly, looking into his eyes as he contemplated his next thought. He lifted his head and bent over my bed, face coming dangerously close to mine. And though I felt the urge to punch him out, I relaxed as thoughtful interest plagued my mind. He got so close that I could feel his still shallow breaths sliding passed my face.

“All I wanted for my birthday was you.” he said softly, closing his eyes halfway and looking at me with a look that I’d never seen before. It wasn’t the familiar one of hatred but instead one that screamed the same feeling I was having inside. A confused emotion somewhere between love, lust, carelessness, fear and thought. But before I had a chance to think about which one was the right feeling, he closed the space between us and pressed his warm lips to mine. I was shocked at first and didn’t kiss back but in a moment my body reacted and I pressed my lips to his lightly.

Feelings I’d never felt before ran over my spine and warmed my body like coco on a cold winter day. It wasn’t like anything I’d ever felt before. And I’d thought Eric’s kisses had given me butterflies. Now I could understand what all the other girls had meant when they said that Max’s kisses were dangerous. If I hadn’t been bedridden I probably would’ve been all over him. But I noticed too that there was something different with this kiss than the ones I’d seen him give other girls and it sure as hell wasn‘t like any of the kisses I‘d ever gotten. This one wasn’t lustful or full of sex drive and misplaced hormones. This one had something indescribable. Something that made me get a chill as he pulled away. I wanted more but I dared not pull him back as he sat down and wiped a few last tears from his face. He didn’t look up but the sound of his voice was a slight comfort to me.

“I didn’t want money or girls or a win at a hockey game. I didn’t want great food or a great party or for all the girls to wear short skirts and high heels. I didn’t want to get drunk and party. I didn’t want any of it.” he said in explanation of himself. “I can’t describe it. I just… I wanted you. I didn’t want you for sex or because it would be a conquest…. I just….. I can’t explain it.” he said lightly, clearly confused by his own emotions.

“I…. You….. Why do you……….. Me?” I asked, head reeling. His face twisted and he sat in thought for a moment.

“I’d always thought of you as just a bitch that had a bad attitude before. It’d all been fun and games just screwing around messing with you because I knew I could get to you. I even thought crudely once or twice that maybe if I got you drunk and took you home that you’d get a better attitude. But that night at the club…. When you were with Eric….. I just…… snapped…… I didn’t want any of those whores with tight skirts anymore…. I wanted you…… I wanted to be in his place……. I wanted to be with you………… I wanted to hold you…… and I’ve never felt that before………” he said, looking up and out the window. I ran my hand over his cheek and he closed his eyes as I ran my hand back through his hair.

“But you hate me, Max. You’ve never wanted that. You’re always putting me down. How could you possibly feel that if you hate me?” I asked, still trying to process everything. He looked up into my eyes and came as close to me as he could while he was in his chair.

“I put you down so you wouldn’t notice the truth.” he whispered. I faltered for a minute before he spoke again, unsure of what to say back to him.

“What……….. What is the truth, Maxime…?” I asked, getting caught up in his eyes. They were searching mine just as I was searching his; for answers they couldn’t give, secrets they couldn’t tell.

“It doesn’t matter what the truth is.” he said finally, breaking the electric eye contact we’d made. I sighed and put my hand on top of his lightly.

“Max, the truth does matter. It matters to me.” I started, voice wavering because it was almost lost in the dead silence of the room. He looked up and into my eyes again, searching them for an answer I was sure he couldn’t find. “Tell me, Max. Please.”

“The truth…..” he contemplated his wording before he looked away and finished, “The truth is that I……. I……. adore you….. I………I‘m……. I just really care about you.” he finished softly. I felt my heart skip a beat. Maxime Talbot, the man who could have any woman he chose, had chosen to care about me. Over all the girls he’d had in his bed, through all the years he’d had a puck bunny or three every night, he chose me. And I couldn’t fathom it. I was just another girl. I wasn’t that special. I was ordinary.

“Max…. I don’t…. I don’t know what to say….” I trailed off as his face tensed up again.

“You don’t have to say anything because it doesn’t matter. I don’t want to take you from Eric. You two are happy. He keeps you safe. Safer than I can. And he loves you. He loves you more than I think I can understand. He makes you happy and I want you to be happy. And safe. And away from me.” he said, pulling away from my touch.

“But why would you……..” I trailed off, dizzy in thoughts.

“Because I hurt you. I hurt you every time I talk to you. And it will never stop. I’ll always hurt you. I’ll never be good for you. Never be good enough for you. You deserve better and I can’t be any more than I am. I’m not even close to the man you deserve. I’m just an egotistical bastard with a horrible temper and a pension for hurting people I care about. So I want you to hate me. I want you to hate me like you’ve never hated anyone else before. And I want you to forget ever talking to me like you care. Hate me with everything you have. Everything you have and more.” he said, getting up and turning away from me. And for the first time I felt tears well up in my eyes and I let them slip down my face unkempt. They were tears of happiness but also ones of confusion and sadness. Max had cared for me. He’d genuinely cared for me. But he’d hidden it for so long. And now he was asking me to hate him because he wasn’t good enough.

“Max… I don’t… I don’t want to hate you….” I said as he walked towards the door. He put his hand on the handle and looked back one more time, a tear falling down his face.

“It doesn’t matter. You have to hate me. Promise me now. Promise me you’ll hate me with all you have.” he demanded softly. I nodded and he walked out after composing himself. Eric came back and practically ran over to me, confused as to why I was crying.

“Did he hurt you again? I’ll fucking kill him….” he trailed off in a sudden rage. I took his hand and shook my head no.

“He didn’t hurt me. He just…… surprised me.” I said, wiping away tears. Eric kissed me lightly and it was then that I felt the emptiness of his kisses. They were missing so much. They were missing that deep running spark, the one that made my heart flip out of my chest. But I didn’t say anything, I just fell into the voided kiss like I had before, letting Max’s kiss slip from my mind. Eric smiled into my lips and pulled away.

“They said you can leave tomorrow morning but you need to be on bed rest for a week or two.” he informed me happily, “I can’t wait to take you back home. It’s horrible having to sit around in this ‘sterile’ environment.”

“I know the feeling. I’m about half sick of this bed.” I said, patting the pillows with my hand and rolling my eyes sarcastically. He just laughed.

“I’m half sick of seeing you in this bed. Besides. It’s not very easy to kiss you when you’re laying here.” he said, a devious smile crossing his face. “And I can’t hold you at all. It’s all I can do to not scream bloody murder.”

“Well tomorrow’s your day then.” I answered, pushing Max out of my mind and regaining my love of Eric. I’d made a promise. “But wait. We have a game tomorrow, don’t we?” I asked, thoughts that had been clouded by medication coming back to me.

“I have a game but you need to stay in bed, bijou.” he said, intertwining our fingers. I shook my head.

“If you have a game, I have a game. Wounds or no wounds. I’m going.” I insisted stubbornly.

“You’re such a child. Why do I love you?” he asked, looking to one corner of the room under his hair. I smiled and laughed to myself.

“Because I’m amazing and hot and awesome.” I answered, nodding my head childishly. He chuckled and kissed me again, more passion in this kiss. It felt less voided and I found it easier this time to forget Max. Forget his admittance. His tongue brushed my lip and we kissed for a minute or two before he backed away.

“I can definitely vouch for the hotness.” he said slyly, looking me over. I laughed and the rest of the day was spent cracking jokes and talking about the day to come. We were taking on the task of evaluating tomorrow’s team when a knock sounded on the door. Eric looked over at it questioningly and left my side to answer it. He opened it to find Disco Dan, Mike Yeo and Gilles Meloche standing in the doorway awkwardly.

“Hey Gods. Is she….?” Gilles said through a thick accent.

“She’s awake and talking.” Eric answered, smiling as he glanced over to me. I heard a collective sigh of held emotions and relief.

“Well, we’ll leave then. We just wanted to see how she was after we heard about her crash with Sco…” Dan started before being cut off by Eric. I raised an eyebrow. Why wasn’t I suppose to know who’d crashed into me? I was the one in the hospital after all. I think I had a right to know who’d put me there.

“Don’t leave.” I said, voice carrying through the quiet hospital room. I heard Gilles sigh again, surely in more relief as he heard me speaking.

“You’re sure?” Mike asked timidly, voice quiet.

“I’m sure. Come in. It’s alright.” I assured them. Eric nodded in conformation of my statement and they filed in, gathering around the foot of my bed. I saw Dan get a little teary eyed and Gilles wiped away a tear that had escaped his emotional lock down. And as they battled their emotions, Mike spoke.

“It’s nice to see you’re alright. We heard about you Thursday on the news and we were…….. In shambles, to say the least.” he finished, looking over at Dan, who moved around the bed and sat down at a chair opposite to the one Godsy had taken up residence in again. Eric laced our fingers and I knew that he was thinking something along the lines of ‘I know the feeling’.

“How’re you feeling, Avi?” Dan asked curiously, worriedly. His use of my nickname made me smile and it brightened their faces. ‘Avi’ had been a shortened version of ‘Devil’s Advocate’ ;the name given to me after the team saw that Eric and I were best friends. They’d called him Lucifer a few times after some hellish fights with different people and so it just stood to reason that I was his assistant in such affairs. And after joining the team and appointing lines on any given night, they’d really believed me to be causing the fights, since Eric always ended up on the line opposite of the other team’s enforcer.

“I’m alright. A little uncomfortable being in this bed. Reminds me of college all over again. Only I didn’t have stitches to worry about then.” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes melodramatically.

“But at least you’re still alive. How’re they treating you here?” Mike asked, wily eyes roaming around the room in a crazed fit. I laughed but was forced to stop prematurely as I felt the tugging from my stitches. I pulled my hand from Eric’s and ran it over my stitches, making certain that I hadn’t pulled them out. They all tensed for a minute until I relaxed and gave Eric back my hand.

“They’ve been amazing. Got me on some crazy meds that make me feel like I’m flying.” I answered, winking at him. He laughed and nodded. And finally Gilles spoke to me.

“We’ve done the sheets for tomorrow’s game and we were wondering if you’d go over them now since you won’t be there tomorrow.” he said, pulling out some papers from his pocket and unfolding them. I wrinkled my nose at him and he raised an eyebrow.

“Whoever said I wasn’t going to the game tomorrow was sorely mistaken.” I said firmly, looking into everyone’s eyes and back. They all seemed surprised and I saw Dan’s eyes become worried and confused.

“But you’re to be on bed rest. You just woke up from a three day comatose. You’ve got stitches and a concussion and so many cuts and bruises and…” I raised a hand and he stopped.

“And I play hockey. I’m not suppose to look beautiful and perfect. I am suppose to do my job and as long as I feel that I can do so I’m going to. End of story.” I stated, dead set. Dan shook his head.

“This isn’t smart and it’s against doctors orders and it goes against everything I’ve heard the doctors and nurses tell me to do.” he sighed, uncertain.

“But what do you want to do?” I asked, “It doesn’t matter what they say as long as you’re alright with me going.”

“I think that it’s your choice. Just make sure you tell us if you need to go off ice. We’ll have Chuck ready for you in case something happens. And don’t push it.” he warned, look stern. I smiled and turned to hug him, wincing in pain as I turned too quickly. I threw my arms around his neck and squeezed him as hard as I could with the cuts on my arms. He hugged me back and as we let go I found that the room felt much lighter, more happy. Perfect time to spring questions on them.

“Now I’ve one question.” I said quietly. All of them seemed to come closer, waiting.

“What’s that?” Eric asked, wondering in his voice.

“Who hit me.” I stated more than asked. Demanded more than questioned. Their spirits fell and they looked to Godsy, who was debating whether or not to tell me. He searched my eyes and then let his head fall in defeat, nodding a little. Dan sighed and I turned to face him.

“Are you really sure you want to know? It’s so close after the accident and we’re not sure that you’ll be able to…” Dan stopped as the fire flared up in my eyes.

“I’m in the hospital on a heart monitor with an IV in my arm, stitches in my side and bandages all over me. I think I deserve to know who put me where I am…. Well….. Who helped me put myself here…” I trailed off, voice dying as I thought about Max. And then I felt false hatred well up inside me but only enough to cover the fact that I felt like crying. Dan nodded and looked over to Gilles, who sighed as well before speaking.

“I suppose you’ve heard that the driver of the other car was three times over the legal limit of alcohol, correct?” he asked, accent thick in every word. I fell into it. I’d missed hearing him talk. His accent made me feel at home.

“Yes.” I confirmed, keeping my answers short so we could get to the point.

“Well that was because his wife had a fight with him and proposed divorce.” he explained, obviously trying to drum up sympathy; signaling to me that it was someone I’d never been fond of.

“Who. Hit. Me.” I demanded, voice stern and almost dead. He sighed again and his voice lowered.

“Scott Hartnell.” his voice tore through my head like a tiger tearing into its prey. Scott Hartnell, the man I’d wanted to kill many a day for beating on Eric was the same man who’d put me in a hospital bed. I felt anger well up inside me but then I reminded myself that I was still part to blame for this accident. I’d been going too fast and not looking.

Besides the fact that I was now blaming myself I heard Eric beside me, a low growling coming from his throat as his grip on my hand began to feel dangerous. I squeaked as he cracked my knuckles and kept going.

“Eric! Stop! My hand!” I squeaked through the pain of him almost breaking my hand. He let go and kissed each of my knuckles, eyes apologetic under his messy hair, which I noticed now was longer and starting to get into his eyes. I watched Dan’s eyes go from Eric to me and back as they softened. He’d always told me that Eric and I were perfect for each other but I’d never taken him up on it; always feeling like something was missing. But I had to admit that now, watching him be so gentle and so passionate at the same time, I couldn’t help but feel that Dan was right. And from the silence of my own thoughts I heard Mike talking.

“Well, since you’re coming tomorrow I think we should leave you be for tonight so you can rest up.” Mike’s voice was light and I heard his heels turning on the hard tile floor as he left the room, leaving Gilles and Dan with us. Gilles nodded his head and I felt him pat my leg reassuringly before leaving as well. And Dan sighed, relaxing the rest of the way. He was always a little more jumpy when Mike and Gilles were around, always trying to make himself seem more impressive, trying to live up to his name.

“You two are perfect.” he said simply, standing up and putting his hands in his pockets as he watched us. Eric stopped and looked up at me, his eyes smiling before he kissed my hand one more time as he looking up at Dan.

“That’s what you keep telling us.” I said, smiling before sticking my tongue out at him. Dan just shook his head and walked out, waving goodbye a little over his shoulder. And the door closed, leaving us in silence.

“Wow. That guy. That’d never happen. Us.. Haha.” Eric said, voice contradicting his words. I didn’t say anything as I felt the dizziness of the medicine kicking in again but as I laid back down and smiled over at him.

“Anything can happen. You of all people should know that.” I whispered before my eyes drooped closed and I fell into a sleep unlike any other I’d ever had. It was so deep that I didn’t even hear the noises of things happening around me, as I had almost every time I’d gone to sleep since I was a young child.

And I woke up in the late morning, or rather early afternoon, the next day. I was still exhausted but as I opened my eyes I found myself more confused than tired. The room was empty. No one around but me. And there was no noise from the heart monitor or the slight plopping noises of the IV. They were gone too. I felt myself almost panic but then I looked to the side table and found that all the flowers and cards that had been there were gone, replaced by a cappuccino and a note. I picked up the cappuccino and drank it, finding that, unfortunately, it was decaf coffee. Putting it back down in the silence of the room I heard the tap of it touching the table echo off the walls and come back to me. I waited until it was completely quiet again, save for the shuffling of feet outside the heavy door, before I picked up the note. It was written in Godsy’s handwriting but I found myself almost disappointed, almost hoping for another note from Max. Sighing it off I brought back the false hatred, trying to bring back all the memories and feelings from when he’d yelled at me or we’d fought. I shook it all off when that didn’t work and opened the note.

‘Avi,

I smiled as I put the note down and looked towards the wall clock. I found that I couldn’t see it very well but there was really nothing I could do. I squinted for a minute before I heard the door handle turning. Glancing over I saw Sidney’s bright smiling face in the doorway.

“Squidney!” I said cheerily, getting my answer about what time it was.

“Bernzie!” Sidney said, walking over to me and kissing my head, taking a seat next to me.

“It’s nice to see your smiling face today, Squid.” I said making him laugh.

“It’s wonderful to see you awake and talking today, Bernzie.” he answered, smiling at me. We sat in the quiet for a minute as I took a drink of my decaf before wrinkling my nose.

“Stupid decaf. I need caffeine.” I said sarcastically. Sidney chuckled, uncertain of his next words. I waited for him patiently, attempting to stomach the rest of my decaf. He looked thoughtful for a moment before speaking and I listened as intently as I could through the leftover haze of sleep.

“So I heard Max was here yesterday.” he started, unsure how I would react. I felt the twinge of sickness in my stomach and a twist of my heart that felt like someone had plunged a knife there. And then I regained myself and drummed up the anger I’d been faking for a day now.

“Yeah.” I answered simply, unable to sustain the anger in my voice for very long. I suddenly found it more and more difficult to hate Max and easier to think of him fondly. But I couldn’t let myself get comfortable with that. I had to hate him. I had to think of him as the scum of the Earth. I’d promised him. But I couldn’t help but feeling that it would be an uphill climb all the way. No breaks.

“He’s really killing himself over this.” Sid finished, looking around the room in a gesture to tell me it was because I was here. I sighed and pulled out the anger again but I faltered.

“It’s not his fault.” I said softly, realizing then that I’d made a slight mistake. It took Sidney by surprise and he raised an eyebrow. No one on the team had ever heard me say one nice thing about Max let alone support his innocence. I immediately caught myself and regained my footing, “Scott Hartnell hit me. He’s to blame for making me angry, though.” I tried. Obviously this catch was sufficient for Sidney and he nodded, relaxing a little.

“I don’t think he’s slept a full night since Tuesday. He’s been calling me everyday more than once to ask how you were. It’s wearing on him.” he said, voice as quiet as mine had been. Again the pain in my chest came but I swept it away and thought of Eric. I felt a warmness wash over me and I was able to push Max from my mind and pull back the anger I’d felt for him once. False and irrelevant as it was now, it was needed.

“He’ll be fine in a while. Tonight’s game will tire him out and he’ll get some sleep.” I started, looking over into Sidney’s uncertain eyes. It was like he knew something I didn’t and he wasn’t telling me. But I didn’t ask. Sidney was never one to reveal any more than he needed to so there was no need to waste my energy. “Where’s Hartnell, anyway?” I asked, anger in my voice.

“He was in jail but he made bail and he goes to court Friday.” he started unhappily, “He’s playing tonight. Fourth line. The NHL fined him pretty heavily. He‘s so lucky he didn‘t get thrown off his team.”

I felt myself twitch in excitement. Fourth line. Eric’s line. “I see. Well, I’ll be there to see what happens tonight so it’ll be fun to watch.” And as I finished I watched the look of surprise on Sid’s face.

“You’re coming tonight?” he asked, joyous and confused, worry and fear seeping into his voice.

“Bet your ass I am.” I said firmly as the door to my room opened to reveal the pleasant nurse who’d been taking care of me for my stay. She smiled at us before shooing Sidney out so she could change my bandages. And as she did so I took the initiative to start up a conversation with her.

“Nice to see you’re cheery, child.” she said happily, unraveling the bandages that wrapped me up. She began to change them and I laughed.

“Nice to see you so happy as well……….” and I trailed off, completely unsure of her name. I didn’t believe that she’d ever told me it.

“Keisha.” she said cheerily, moving me to my right and taking the wrapping off of my stitches.

“Keisha. Well thanks for taking such good care of me.” said thoughtfully, looking down at my stitches for the first time. They went from where my liver was to my spleen and there was a trace of a cut that led up my sternum about an inch. There was also a cut on my right side that went up my side to my arm where I knew they had opened me to fix my lung. It gave me chills but before I could see much else she covered it again and laughed to herself.

“Don’t thank me for the care, child. Thank that boy of yours. He’s been here watching you and making sure that you’re not in any pain at all. Even had me teach him what to do if you started to feel pains in your side with the lung. That’s a special boy. Yessir.” she said happily, eyes dancing as she looked up at me. I smiled and felt my ears twinge red in color.

“Well thanks for being here, Keisha.” I tried again. She nodded and smiled, walking out of the room before coming back and sitting something that looked to be a shredded piece of curtains that a cat had ripped up.

“I’m happy to see you leaving today and I’ll be bringing you a bag with the supplies to fix your bandages and what not soon. I sorry that your dress was shredded. It was necessary to operate immediately and it was an obstruction.” she said lightly, handing me the mass of shreds that I now knew was my dress. You could clearly see where the scissors had cut up the sides of the dress. And as I felt the sting of passing embarrassment, she laughed. “Don’t worry, honey. Surgeon was a girl.”

And I felt myself let out a sigh as she waved goodbye and walked out, leaving the door open. I could hear the sounds of the hallway for the first time since I’d been here. There were the sounds of heals pounding down the hall which I expected were either nurses or visitors, the squealing of wheelchair wheels turning as they passed and the sounds of pages being called over the intercom to surely busy doctors and steadily working nurses. I shut my eyes for a minute as I fell tranquilly into the sounds, only opening them when I realized that a quiet silence had fallen over the room again. I hadn’t heard the door close but I knew it had to have been and when I opened my eyes I found Eric standing at the foot of my bed watching me.

“Hey.” I said, opening my eyes a little. He smiled and sat a bag down on the chair Sid had been in before sitting down beside me.

“Hey yourself.” he answered, kissing me lightly before backing up and relaxing in his chair. “Did Sidney come see you?”

“Yeah he was just here a while ago. Told me Hartnell’s in the game tonight.” I said under my breath as I watched Eric’s eyes harden.

“No one told me that.” he growled, obvious anger in his voice. I took his hand and smiled at him lightly.

“Your line.” It was all he could do to keep from laughing in happiness. I could see the gears in his head turning as he plotted a plan to kill or at least maul Scott. Personally I didn’t blame him and we sat in silence as the gears continued to whir around in his brain. Finally, after around ten minutes of silence Keisha came back with a clipboard and a bag of bandages and some other things I would be needing.

“Child it’s nice to see you leavin’.” she said, smiling at me as she sat the bag down and handed Eric the clipboard. He signed something and she laughed a little as she looked over at me. “And now he’s got to take care of you. You in better hands now than you’ve been your whole time here.”

“That’s what they tell me.” I said, sitting up in bed and finding that my legs and arms were still sore.

“I’ll meet you outside to take you out when you’re ready.” she said, leaving the room and shutting the door again. Eric looked over to me and smiled, blushing to himself for the first time in a long time. I returned it and slid my legs out of bed, touching the cold ground for the first time in almost a week. He stood up and came over to me, watching and making sure I was alright. I stood and pulled my medical dress off the bed so that it was covering me. Eric grabbed the bag, which I assumed contained my clothes and walked me over to the bathroom, arm around my shoulders to make sure I could walk. We reached the door and I turned around on the cold floor to face him.

For the first time in a week I was looking up to him again and I couldn’t express how great it felt to be able to hug him. He put his arms around me lightly and hugged me before I backed up into the bathroom and shut the door. Ten minutes later as I was fixing my wet hair from the quick shower I’d taken his voice came through the closed door. I was dressed and all I needed to do now was my make up and hair. But he didn’t know that.

“How’s it going?” he asked, voice curious. I knew he hadn’t sat down the whole time I’d been in here, waiting to make sure that I didn’t need him.

“Fine. You can open the door if you want.” And no sooner had the sentence come out of my mouth than the door was open and Eric was standing behind me, looking into the mirror. He leaned his head down on my shoulder and put his arms around my waist lightly, looking my reflection over thoughtfully.

“You look beautiful today.” he whispered, rocking me back and forth rhythmically. I smiled and pushed myself back into his chest. He accepted me warmly and held my weight, hugging me.

“Today..?” I asked sarcastically, opening my eyes and watching his face in the mirror. He laughed and kissed my cheek, smiling at me wryly.

“Everyday.” he corrected. We laughed together for a minute before he let me go and I finished brushing my hair. I gathered my things and turned around to see him watching me carefully, unmoving. His eyes were thoughtful and demanding, asking me a million questions and not offering an answer for so much as one of my own. He came closer and I found myself pushed against the sink lightly as he continued to search my eyes. His voice almost made me jump as it was so soft and confused. “Did you mean it?”

I found myself at a loss for words. I was so confused and taken aback at the same time as I looked up into his face for answers he wasn’t giving. “Mean what?” I asked, voice light. He leaned down and rested his forehead on mine gently, making certain to not brush the cut that was covered by a bandage now.

“Did you mean it when you said anything could happen?” he stated more than asked. And memories of the conversation I’d had before I went to sleep floated back to me almost like a dream. They were foggy and not quite so clear but I still understood now what he meant. I felt my heart flip over and the slight pain from a hard conscious came back to me as Max flashed into my mind. I shoved it away and took a moment to think, closing my eyes and slowing my breathing. Had I?

“Yes. I meant it.” I answered, voice barely above a whisper now. He stopped breathing for a moment thoughtfully before he looked into my eyes and bore a path almost to my soul.

“Make me a believer.” his voice was sure as he pressed his lips lightly to mine. The kiss didn’t last as long as I would’ve liked it to and he pulled away a few seconds in, searching my eyes again. “Be mine…” he finished, voice pleading with me. I felt all the air leave my lungs. This was a moment that had been a long time coming. For years I’d sat back in blindness, not seeing how much he’d loved me and never once had he said anything to open my eyes. But now he was finally out with it. It was like an electric shock that confirmed everything anyone had ever told me was true about him. Conformation I never really would’ve needed if I would’ve just opened my eyes.

I let a smile turn up in the corners of my mouth and looked up at him, staring into his big beautiful eyes. They were searching me for an answer, looking into my soul. And for a moment I was at a loss for words but I suddenly found them, realizing that they had been there all along. “Wasn’t I always?”

As soon as my voice faded out I saw Eric’s mind jumping with excitement and I could almost hear his heart racing. A moment like this only happened once in a lifetime and this was his moment. His eyes looked me over, almost assuring himself that I was serious before he kissed me again, harder this time, love flowing out in waves. He pulled away a minute later and smiled at me. “Honest and Truly?” he asked, voice fading back into our childhood.

I felt myself fall into a memory of our days at the lake when we’d gone fishing. Every time we would try to say something to the wonderful little old lady that owned the lake she would answer us with ‘honestly and truly?’ before she contemplated a thought and came back with some cryptic messages that evaded our understanding even now. It had become our way of staying close in the crazy mixed up world that became our lives. Anytime we would drift apart or be away from each other for vacations or trips or whatever it had become our own. As we told each other stories of our time away the other would answer as the old lady had. It was our way of saying ‘Are you really serious?’ in a way that meant so much more than the words could ever say. It was one of the many little things that had brought us together; one of the things that had brought us to where we were.

And I faded back into reality as I watched Eric’s eyes, searching mine for signs of life. Sighing out what I found to be a held breath, I smiled at him. “As surely as I breath.” With that, it was all Eric could do not to scream. I saw the look of sheer happiness and also one of relief in his eyes as he pushed his lips to mine again. This kiss was fiery and reminded me of the first kiss we’d ever shared as teenagers. It was innocent and deadly, careful and poisonous, everything and nothing. He broke it off and pulled me close, enveloping me in a hug that warmed me to my soul. Letting go, he took my hand and pulled me out of the bathroom, a new resilience in his swagger.

“C’mon. It’s time to get you home.” he said, picking up my back and putting my things back in it as he opened the door that lead into the hall. I saw Keisha outside talking to another nurse and I pulled back on Eric’s hand. He turned and looked at me curiously, fire burning in his eyes now.

“Sweetheart, I think they’ll have something to say about sex this close to the accident.” My voice was light and sarcastic and he stopped and laughed for at least three minutes, tears falling down his cheeks.

“I love you.” he said finally, wiping a tear away as we walked into the hallway. Keisha caught us and walked us out to the doors, waving goodbye as we headed outside.

As we headed home, Eric was quiet and seemed to be contemplating his own thoughts so I left him alone. We pulled up to my house and jumped out into the cold as we walked up the sidewalk that lead to my door. He pulled out my keys and unlocked the door, letting me go in first before following me. I took my shoes off and breath deep, inhaling the pleasant scent of my own house. It was a pleasant luxury after spending so many days pent up in a sterile environment that smelt of death, loathing and despair. Sighing to myself I felt Eric’s arm go around my waist lightly as he pulled me over to him.

“Looks like I’ll be spending a lot more nights here.” he whispered to me even though we were the only ones in the house. I smiled and wrapped my bruised arms around him, giving him as hard of a hug as I could without hurting myself.

“Like you don’t already spend all your time here.” I managed before he chuckled to himself and kissed the top of my head.

“That’s besides the point.” he answered sarcastically, letting me go and walking into the living room. He sat down the bag he’d carried in and took a seat himself, tilting his head back on the couch and sighing. I joined him and sat gingerly, feeling the aches of my wounds now. Eric heard my shallow breathing and wrapped an arm around me, voice calming. “Don’t move around too much. It’ll just make it worse.”

“Honey, I’m going to be practically killing myself tonight at the game. I have to move around.” I answered quietly. He laughed again and looked over at me.

“You’re stubborn, bijou. Well if you’re really serious about going tonight then go to bed and sleep. You need all the energy you can get. I’ll wake you up. I promise.” he’d barely finished before he was yawning. I smiled to myself and seized the opportunity.

“I’ll go to bed on one condition.” I said, voice dancing on every word. Eric’s eyebrow raised but he didn’t open his eyes, almost completely out cold.

“What’s that?” he asked, voice confirming what I’d been thinking. He was completely exhausted. Days of sleep deprivation were finally seeping into effect and he was almost completely drained. Running on empty.

“That you come to bed with me.” It was as if my words had suddenly energized him and his eyes shot open, looking over at me in a crazed excited manor.

“You don’t even have to ask.” he answered, helping me up off the couch and assisting me to walk gingerly down the hall to my room. He opened the door and escorted me in, getting me up into bed and comfortable before collapsing messily down beside me. I laid down on my back, insuring that I wouldn’t injure myself any more before closing my eyes. I found myself more tired than I thought I would be, as I’d gotten more than sixteen hours of sleep the night before. Then again, I wasn’t exactly in the best condition and sleep did help to heal the body so getting a lot more than I thought I needed was a good thing.

I sighed to myself and looked over at Eric, seeing that he had moved and put his head on the pillow, eyes closed and breathing slowed down. He was almost completely asleep. I leaned over as best I could and kissed his nose before laying back and falling into a pleasant sleep.

Four hours later I was awoken by the sounds of my cell phone blaring ‘Enterprise’ next to me on the nightstand. I opened my eyes, fully awake immediately and reached out to get it only to be stopped by Eric’s tired hand. He laced our fingers and as I turned to look at him he caught me up in a fiery kiss again, only letting me out of it when the phone had stopped ringing.

“What was that for..?” I asked, breathless after the surprising kiss. Eric opened his eyes halfway and ran a hand through his hair, propping himself up on one arm so that he could face me.

“Making sure this was real.” he answered softly, eyes showing every single small emotion he was feeling. I smiled at him before getting the phone, now unhindered by Eric’s grasp. I looked at the ID and saw that it had been Dan trying to call me and he’d left me a voice mail, surely telling me that everyone else was at the arena waiting for Eric and I. Backtracking from my inbox I saw that it was now 6:05. 55 minutes to game time. Glancing over at Eric he seemed to understand and he got up, coming around the bed dizzily to help me up. He pulled me off the bed and I fell into him, feeling a searing pain shoot up my spine.

“Ahh!” I squeaked, clutching my right side. It felt like someone had stabbed me and was pouring salt in the wound. Eric picked me up and sat me down on the bed, running his fingers lightly over where he knew my stitches were.

“I can’t help you unless I can see what I’m doing.” he said, voice completely serious. I knew that this wasn’t just a lustful way of trying to get me undressed and so I sighed through the pain and lifted up my shirt just over the top of my stitches, allowing Eric to look over the area. Running his hand over the stitches, he hit a sore spot and I jerked away in pain. He kissed my cheek with apologetic eyes and looked it over one more time before pulling some medicine off the night stand and removing the bandages. He brushed the medication over the stitches before replacing the bandages and kissing me lightly. “All better.” he whispered childishly as I let my shirt drop back over the bandages.

“Thanks doctor.” I answered, wrinkling my nose at him as the medicine numbed my side. He smiled at me and walked out of the room, leaving me alone so that we could both get dressed. I went to my closet and was about to pull out a suit when I thought about the hospital. Walking across the hall, I pushed open Eric’s door, finding him slipping on his dress pants. He glanced up and raised an eyebrow at me.

“I thought you said no sex this close to the accident peeping Tera.” his voice danced across the room as he winked at me and finished putting on his pants before taking off his shirt. I watched him for a moment before remembering what I’d come over for.

“I just wanted to know if the doctors gave you any restrictions on what I should be wearing. I don’t want to cause myself immeasurable pain and have Dan kick me off the team until I’m better.” I said, finally able to look away from him. He looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully as he slid on another shirt and pulled on his jacket.

“They said nothing really tight to insure prevention of further damage and they preferred if nothing was especially close to the stitches to prevent tearing and stuff. So I’m just taking a guess here but I’m thinking maybe something really loose like a jersey and some pajama pants or something.” he finished, voice very thoughtful as he milled over the idea of what I should wear. I nodded and headed back into my room, pulling a jersey off the hanger and pulling off my other shirt before slipping it on. I felt some relief being out of my other shirt since it was tighter but felt tension return as I looked around and failed at finding my pants.

“Eric! Have you seen my Pens pants?!” I yelled across the hall over my shoulder as I continued to rummage through my closet.

“The black ones?” he answered, voice still pretty far away.

“Yeah!” I answered, hoping that he’d seen them. I stood up and was about to turn around when I bumped right into Eric’s chest. He laughed lightly and held up my pants with one hand, other arm wrapping itself around me.

“You left them at my house last time you stayed over. I brought them back in case you needed them.” he said, voice barely above a whisper.

“Thanks.” I said thoughtfully, taking my pants from him but being unable to get out of his grasp. He hugged me and kissed my head before letting me go. I walked away and into the bathroom, putting on my other pants quickly before coming back out to find Eric sitting on my bed staring at the door. His eyes lit up as he saw me and he gave me a thumbs up with a laugh.

“Magnificent!” he shouted happily as I walked across the room and he pulled me slowly out the door. We slid on our shoes and headed outside into the cold night air. And it was only then that I realized for the first time that my car had been totaled.

“How’re we getting there? My car’s sort of……… demolished.” I said sadly, glancing over to Eric’s smiling face.

“We can use my car.” he said, motioning towards the shining beauty that was his black mustang. I smiled. It had been so long since I’d ridden in his car that I’d almost forgotten what it felt like. He pulled me away from my porch and opened the door for me, waiting until I was comfortable until he closed the door and got into the driver’s seat.

“So how fast are we going to go?” I asked, referring back to all the times I’d ridden with Eric. He’d always managed to break the sound barrier driving through Pittsburgh. But today was a different day and he glanced down at his watch.

“We’ve got time. I think five miles per hour over the speed limit will do us just fine.” he answered quietly, revving the engine and pulling out of the driveway. And, much to my surprise, he was serious. He didn’t run any lights or forget anything about cautious driving once as we pulling down the road that lead to the Mellon. We pulled into the already packed parking lot and Eric turned off the engine, silencing the car. I looked down at my watch. 6:30. Almost game time. I tried to get out of the car but the twisting motion that was required evaded me and I was forced to twist back around in pain. Eric’s eyes looked over me worriedly and he got out of the car, coming around and opening my door.

“Just hold still.” he said concernedly, sliding one arm under my legs and the other around my back. He pulled me out gently and held me in his arms for a moment. I slid my arms around his neck and kissed him slowly, thankfully. He followed my lead in slow motion and kissed me for a few minutes before he pulled away, staring down into my eyes. I raised an eyebrow in surprise.

“What?” I asked, voice soft.

“You know it’s kisses like that that make me want to skip work.” he answered easily, kissing my lips lightly one more time before sitting me down on my feet. I smiled and took his hand as we walked into the Mellon’s back entrance to avoid being mauled by fans. I took a moment as the doors closed behind us to look around. I hadn’t been here for almost a week and the environment was electric yet somehow foreign. Eric paused beside me only continuing on after I took a step forward. We made it to the doors that lead into the locker room and both of us took a deep breath. This would be the first time since the accident that I’d seen everyone. The first time since I‘d seen Max in the hospital. The first time since we‘d gotten together.

All of the emotions of it hit me at once and I felt myself wavering, unsure whether to feel happy, sad or angry. I felt the happiness of being with Eric and the safety of having him with me was calming but the sadness and false anger kept falling over me like a blanket. It almost suffocated me as I thought about Max and his confession. I sighed everything off and took another breath before realizing that Eric was searching my face for some sign that I was uncomfortable.

“You alright?” he asked, voice breaking into my mind like a burglar. I smiled and nodded before he returned it and pulled me through the door and into the chaos that was the Pens’ locker room. We were still behind the breaker wall that blocked us from view and he turned right before we walked past it, looking me over. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

I nodded, completely sure. “I want to work. I need to do something to keep me busy.” I said, voice smooth. He smiled at me and came closer, brushing his hand over my cheek.

“I’m sure I could figure something out for you to do.” he mumbled under his breath before giving me a kiss and a hug. He slipped out of my grasp, pulling on my hand as he lead me into the bustling room that was the Pens’ locker. It quieted almost as soon as we walked inside but we took no real notice of it. Eric needed to get ready and I needed to meet with Dan, Mike and Gilles.

Eric let go of my hand and headed off to his stall to dress for the game as I walked down the hallway to my office. I unlocked the door and pushed it open, finding that everything was just as I’d left it. I picked up my game bag and pulled out the papers I’d left in it for tonight’s game. They were all in order and I sat down gingerly in my chair, looking them over to make sure I didn’t want any last minute changes. They all seemed correct and just as I was about to date them a the top I knock resonated through my office. I looked up and found that I hadn’t opened the blinds that lead to the hall so I couldn’t see who it was and decide whether I wanted them to come in. Sighing I sat the papers down and leaned back lightly on my chair, taking another breath.

“Come in.” I said just loud enough for whoever it was to hear. The handle turned and a softhearted looking Maxime Talbot entered my office. I was taken aback and I felt breathless though I knew I was still breathing. He took a few steps in and closed the door behind him, taking a short breath before looking me over and standing sideways on his skates. I felt the false anger being called up inside me and I tried to make my eyes harden towards him but it was impossible.

“Miss Bitch….” he trailed off, obviously having a hard time himself, “I want to be on the fourth line.”

“Fourth line? But why? You’d be demoting yourself from third… I don’t under..” I trailed off as he interrupted me.

“Don’t ask me questions just put me there! Got it?” he snapped, voice raising with anger. I suddenly felt a flash of real aggression and I pushed myself up out of my chair so that I was standing face to face with him.

“I could bench you right now and you wouldn‘t see a minute of this game.” I growled under my breath, not in the mood to deal with him.

“Just put me there…. Please.” he pleaded, eyes falling out of their anger and into the same softness that they had when he’d been at the hospital with me. I felt a twinge of guilt in my stomach and I nodded, backing off and sitting back down. He opened the door and his eyes hardened again at will. “You are such a bitch! God almighty!” he yelled into the office before slamming the door. And though I knew that he was only acting it still hurt me inside. It stung and I felt the real anger build up inside me. I grew frustrated with him as I moved him down to fourth line with Eric and pushed TK up to third. A minute later, as if on cue, Eric entered my office, fully dressed and looking concerned.

“I heard Max yelling at you. You alright?” he asked, coming over and leaning on the wall closest to me.

“Yeah. I’m fine. That little prick wanted a line change. He wanted second line from third. I demoted him to yours.” I said, voice prickly with sadness and anger. I felt horrible that I’d just lied to Eric but I knew that I had to cover myself. I couldn’t easily explain what Max had told me and I couldn’t possibly hope he’d understand my promise. And he didn’t have to. It wasn’t his burden. He nodded and took my hand, pulling me up out of my chair.

“As much as I hate that it’s a demotion to my line, you’ve not the time to listen to me complain. Coach wants to see you.” he whispered. I felt immediate regret at my choice of words and I wrapped my arms around him.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to make it sound like that. You’re just best there and I..” I left off there as he shook his head.

“I don’t mind. It doesn’t matter. I’m doing what I love. I could be benched for seven games and I’d be fine with it. Now go before you’re even more late than you already are.” he said, kissing my head before letting me go. I opened the door and hurried myself down the hall towards the meeting room. I felt the sharp pin pricks of pain in my legs but I kept going, not feeling the need to stop. I reached the room and turned the handle, opening the door to reveal Dan, Mike and Gilles already discussing alternate lines. Obviously they had been planning my absence. I sighed and walked in, closing the door. They all sat, stunned, as I sat down and pushed the line sheets to the middle of the hard wood table.

“We didn’t think you’d be here.” Mike said under his breath, voice quieted by the fact that he was leaning on his hands in thought.

“I said I would be and I am.” I answered, taking up my papers and jogging them up so that they were in order. Dan smiled at me.

“You’re stubborn.” he chuckled, “I like that.”

“I learned from the best.” I replied, smiling at them. They all got a little laugh out of it as they picked up their line sheets and looked them over. I watched as their eyes went down the page. I’d already given them the briefing on who was weak where and what would work best but this was the first they’d seen the actual line sheets. I put my papers down and watched Dan’s eyes go down the page. First line, slowly but surely across. Second line, they stopped for a moment in thought before continuing on. Third line, done in a few seconds. Fourth line, however, tripped him up and he stopped. His brow furrowed as he read it again and again, making sure he was seeing it correctly. He turned his eyes to me over the papers and raised an eyebrow.

“Godard, Talbot, Fedotenko?” his voice was high and surprised and I gained the same look from Gilles and Mike as they too read the same thing that Dan had.

“Why the sudden change in lines?” Mike asked, curious and a little interested. I’d never changed lines like this before a game. Ever.

“Talbot wanted a promotion to second line with Geno. We fought and I demoted him. Simple. I’m not in the mood for his crap.” I said simply, not dragging out my explanation. Mike nodded and Dan just shook his head.

“This fighting between you two is ridiculous.” he said, standing up from the table. “But that’s besides the point. It looks like everything’s good here. Everybody meet me on the bench at game time.”

We all nodded in unison and I was the first one out, eager to get back near the fresh ice. It was my favorite smell in the world. As I walked out of the room on wounded legs I heard Dan, Mike and Gilles carrying on a conversation behind me through the thin door.

“I can’t believe he’s fighting with her! After what he’s done! She almost died and he has the balls enough to try to fight with her again! I would have him benched, Dan! Benched!” Gilles said, now in a full French accented rage.

“I don’t understand him, Dan! I really don’t! What’s his problem? Why can’t he just let her have one night of peace after something like this. She takes off her bed rest to come and help us and he has to be a complete asshole!” Mike added. I heard Dan shush them and I stood off to one side of the door to listen.

“We all realize that Max has a temper and for whatever reason he just chooses to screw with Bernie more than the rest of us. It’s not right that he’s doing it now but he’s Maxime Talbot. He does what he wants when he wants. And as long as he’s playing good hockey for us we can’t ask him to change. Whether or not we like his behavior can have no bearing on what happens with this team. End of story.” Dan’s voice as stern and fatherly and the others seemed defeated. I walked away on top of the proverbial world and onto the bench where Chuck was.

“Avi!” he shouted excitedly as he jumped across the bench to me, throwing his arms around me. He was careful not to hurt me but he crushed me as much as he could before backing up. “We were worried about you!”

“But I’m fine, see.” I said, breaking away from his grip and running my hands over my arms. He just shook his head.

“Still a smartass I see.” he said incredulously, turning to fix up the Gatorade, as he had before every game since I’d started working for the Pens. I sat down on the bench beside him and took in the smell of the freshly resurfaced ice before watching him.

“Need some help?” I asked, reaching out for the Gatorade. I almost had hold of it before he moved my hand away.

“You’re not even suppose to be working. So you’re not working any more than you have to.” his voice was determined and I didn’t question him. Turning away from him I looked up at the jumbotron and sighed. Two minutes to game time. All the guys were already on ice as our meeting had run over time and I watched them all casting me worried glances as the finished their laps. I waved meekly at Sid and Eric, who sat chatting on the ice doing stretches. They both waved back and Eric winked at me causing Sidney to nudge him in the ribs. I looked away from them and to where Marc and Geno were talking by the goal cage. Geno smiled at me as Marc offered me a wave. I waved back to them as I walked to the end of the bench where Mathieu stood in his gear. His eyes brightened as he saw me coming and he threw his arms around me in a hug.

“Bernie!” he said, knocking his hat off of his head as he hugged me. I smiled and gave him a hug back before I felt the stitches in my side pulling. I let go and sighed to myself as I watched the game set to begin. Everyone else came back to the bench, save Sid, Chris, Billy, Brooks and Gonch. And with ten seconds, the game had begun.

The puck floated back and forth quickly with some nasty hits by both side. I noticed that our side was playing with more anger tonight, they were definitely more aggressive. Sidney checked someone so hard that the boards all around the bench shook. I cringed back as we made a goal and a fight broke out between Sid and Kimo Temonen. They were both put in the box for two minutes and the game went on.

The first period ended with a 2-2 tie and at least twenty penalties for both sides. I sat quietly on the bench and waited for the team to return for the second and as they did I cheered them on as loud as I could through the stunting debilitation of my sore throat. I sat in awe of them as they took the game to a 4-2 lead by the end of the second and they filed off again.

Silence filled my head as the team headed back on for the third. Mat had never left my side but he left me to my own thoughts, instead taking time to observe Marc’s technique. I knew he was hoping to get put into a game before the playoffs. He needed to prove himself. And as everyone else made it out to the ice for before third warm ups, I sat quietly. My thoughts drifted in and out from the lake I’d looked at as a child to thoughts of what tomorrow would bring. And then I found something ironic and giggled to myself. Max had confessed himself to me on Saturday. February fourteenth. Valentine’s Day. It hurt me a little bit but then again I found it ironic and kind of sweet.

For a few seconds I found myself lost in thought but I was brought out of it from the sounds of a familiar voice. Arms wrapped themselves around my waist and I tipped back into the person behind me. Luckily it was exactly who I thought it was.

“Sweetheart, how are you feeling?” Eric’s voice floated into my head like Mozart.

“Mmm…. Like I got hit by a car and came to work after being in a coma.” I answered. He laughed lightly and kissed my hair before saying something.

“Wow, that bad huh?” he asked, voice full of laughter. I smiled and turned my head to see him, looking down at me slyly.

“You’re a sarcastic ass, Eric.” I started, causing him to raise an eyebrow tantalizingly. I smiled, “I love it.”

“I love me too! What a coincidence!” He said, voice deep and heroic. I laughed and shook my head at him as he batted his eyes at me.

“You’re crazy, Godsy.” I said under my breath. He smiled and came closer to me, laying a feather light kiss on my lips. I heard Mat take in a breath in surprise as he watched us. We’d kissed before in front of the team sure, but never in front of other people. We’d usually feared the implication of us dating and neither one of us wanted the paparazzi breathing down our necks. Then again, we didn’t care now. We were dating and we didn’t bother hiding it. Eric broke our kiss and wrinkled his nose at me.

“You look so innocent after we kiss. It’s so cute!” he squeaked in a girlish voice. I laughed and kissed him one more time.

“Just go play hockey.” I told him. He nodded and hugged me one more time before heading off the bench to the ice. Almost immediately I heard Bob Errey from the box beside the bench calling me over. I knew this meant trouble. I waved at him and he laughed, obviously knowing I wasn’t in the mood for an interview. Then, almost a second later, I looked up to the jumbotron and saw that they’d caught Eric and I. Blushing to myself, I looked on as a few heads turned towards the bench. A woman behind the glass on the bench shot me an angry glare as the girl beside her shot me a thumbs up.

The third started and I sighed, watching the fourth line go out first. Sidney slid over the bench to me and nudged my side wryly.

“Soooo! I saw you and Godsy!!” he said, voice hyper and happy. I blushed.

“Yeah…” I trailed off, thoughtful and feeling a strange warmth wash over me as I watched Eric check Hartnell into the boards.

I held my breath as Scott turned and challenged him. And everything was downhill from there. Gloves flew off and almost everyone on ice was in a battle with someone, Eric taking on the man he seemed to hate most. I could see the passion in his eyes, the same passion that had made chills go up my spine was the passion he was now using to beat Scott Hartnell to a bloody pulp. The refs were too busy breaking Kris and Feds’ fights up to notice what was now happening at the other end. I think it was just a distraction on Kris and Feds’ part. They weren’t angry. They didn’t look or act like they really cared if they were beating someone up or not. Just a distraction to give Eric time. Time he was now using to beat Hartnell into the ground.

Behind the Flyers’ net Eric had been shooting rights and uppercuts into his chest and he was clearly wavering though he kept fighting. Hartnell landed a few punches on Eric before he glanced up to see me sitting on edge on the bench. He seemed frozen in time. Shocked and remorseful. And it was in that second that something happened I’d never seen before. Two players double teaming one. Max flew up behind Hartnell and held him as Eric continued to beat him up. Scott struggled and got free but just in time for Max to hit him in the head right into Eric’s fist. Finally the refs broke the fight apart with much haste and struggle and two people from each team headed to the box. Eric and Hartnell were sent down the runway and out of the game.

“Look at that folks! We’ve just witnessed hockey history! Max Talbot and Eric Godard double teamed Scott Hartnell of the Flyers for a beating that looked almost savage. Their anger is understood by all fans here in Pittsburgh though. Scott Hartnell is the cause for the Pens aggression. Many of us here tonight realize that last Wednesday night Scott ran a stop sign and crashed dead on with Pittsburgh’s own Bernadette Armstrong. Bernie was hospitalized but Scott escaped with minor injuries. He was later found to be three times over the legal limit of alcohol. And as we all know here in Pittsburgh, just as no one messes with the Captain, no one messes with the leaders of our team. The assistant goaltending coach seems to be especially special to this team because she’s grown on them. Being so close to their age, they’ve bonded with her and she seems to be considered one of the guys now. Captain Sidney Crosby and many of the others on the team could be seen visiting her in the hospital while long time friend, Eric Godard, never left her side. Even Max Talbot, who’s been in what seems to be a bitter feud with her, stopped in to check on her condition. And that beating only seems to be doing this team good…” Bob Errey’s voice faded into the background as I walked past the tv that sat in the coaches’ office down the runway. I kept going until I found Eric sitting, still pissed, in the locker room undressing.

“What was that about?” I asked, voice lighter than air as I walked over and put a hand on his still padded shoulder.

“He knew it was coming from the beginning. We had words. I just don’t see why Max helped me. He didn’t really seem too interested in it before.” he said, face relaxing as my voice hit him. He was now sitting in his shorts and upper body pads and he looked so much like he had when we were children.

“But you didn’t have to do that. You could’ve beaten them on the scoreboard instead of actually beating him.” I suggested, waiting until he had his pads off to sit down on his lap. He slid an arm around me and his gaze turned hard and fierce. It was almost scary.

“You don’t lay so much a finger on the ones I love most without some consequences.” his voice was stern and almost scolding but I wasn’t really too scared of him. I smiled and he gave me a confused look.

“So you love me most?” I asked, smile prominent now. He leaned down and kissed me slowly. I let everything else fade out of my mind and I focused on him. He was like a drug. And I just couldn’t stop. He finally trailed off into a million smaller kisses before stopping and looking at me, face still serious. And then a smile broke through and he laughed to himself.

“Never loved anyone else more.” he said sheepishly, like he was admitting a long held secret. I smiled and stood up so that he could get dressed, walking into the coaches room to watch the game on tv. I didn’t feel like going back out on the bench. It was far too cold for me out there anyway. I watched as the score soared to 5-2 but then shifted to 5-4. But we were still winning.

Around the time that I thought the Flyers’ might take the lead, Eric walked by casually in his old blue jeans and his faded black shirt, hat turned a little sideways in the front as he leaned on the doorway.

“Hey sexy.” he said wryly, “Come here often?”

I couldn’t help it and I laughed, ignoring the tv completely. “Eric you’re a dork.”

“I know!” he said, smiling a dorky smile as he walked into the office. He motioned for me to stand up and I did but only to let him sit down. I rolled my eyes at him and sat down in his lap for the second time tonight. I turned at an angle so I could rest my head in his chest and he relaxed as we caught up with the game, a game that was only but a mere four feet away.

The game went on and the third finally ended in a 6-4 win by us. Many a fight broke out after Eric was taken off and I think I’d watched Max beat more people’s faces in this game than any other game we’d played this season. Everyone filed back into the locker room in a rush and all of them were celebrating our win early. Eric and I just stayed where we were, neither one of us wanted to move really. I’d made myself quite at home with my head in his chest listening to his heart beat and he’d put his arms around me lazily, subconsciously keeping my stitches warm. Everyone came past the office, no one noticing that we were there until Sidney caught us out of the corner of his eye.

“OOOooOOOOO!!! GODSY!!!” he screamed, immediately gaining the attention of the rest of the team. Matt, Jordan and Marc back tracked to see what was going on and all of them cooed and wolf called in unison.

“BIG LOVE!!” Matt said alluding to an episode of ‘House’ that we’d all seen during one of my many team sleepovers. Eric just sighed and whispered to me through my hair.

“If they’re going to torment us, you wanna give them something to choke on?” he asked. I could almost hear the smirk crossing his face. I nodded a little into his chest, just enough so that he got the message and he tickled my side, making me look up involuntarily, though I knew what was coming. I looked up and he caught me in that electric gaze again before diving into a kiss so potent that I’m glad he was holding me or I probably would’ve fallen off the chair. And as he broke it off I opened my eyes slowly under my hair, looking up at him with a new found lust I hadn’t ever felt before. I leaned up to his neck and whispered to him softly.

“You know it’s kisses like that that make me wish I didn’t have stitches.” I said under my breath. He smiled as I laid my head back down in his chest and he turned the swiveling chair to face Sidney and the others. They stood in the doorway completely stunned for a moment. Sidney eventually winked at me and I felt a blush creep into my cheeks as they headed off to the locker room and Dan, Mike and Gilles walked by. Dan, too, had an eye for detail and he looked us over before smiling and nudging Mike and Gilles.

“You owe me money. I told you they were perfect.” he said triumphantly, smiling as he stuck his hand out to them. Eric chuckled.

“You bet on us, coach? That’s cold.” he said through a laugh.

“They bet you wouldn’t get together. I just said you would. No biggy.” Dan explained himself, winking at us as he closed the office room door and walked into the locker room for after game congratulations. I sighed to myself and relaxed into Eric’s chest again before I felt his fingertips running over my side gently, tempting me to look up. Finally I did and I found him looking down at me with a lustful yet loving gaze.

“Hmm?” I asked quietly, looking over his face. It was twisted lightly into a smile and he waited a minute before speaking.

“Nothing. C’mon. Let’s go so I can get you home to bed. You’re not suppose to be up and about like this.” his voice was caring and worried, floating almost. I smiled to myself and wrapped my arms around him.

“You’re amazing.” I whispered into his chest. He chuckled at a joke that only he seemed to get and waited until I got up off of him to stand, taking my hand into his warmly.

“Here comes the craziness.” he said as we walked out the door and into the bustling locker room. I saw Dan Potash and Bob Errey along with Staggy, Danny, Mike and Gilles. The team in the locker room seemed to phase us out and they didn’t notice we’d even come in until Geno said something in quick Russian to me.

“Thanks, Geno.” I answered, smiling in his direction. He’d wished me a quick recovery and told me he was happy for Eric and I. At least he’d done it in Russian. We’d learned a long time ago that it was easier for us to talk in Russian with each other than in English. Not only because of his shortness of English but for the privacy of our conversations.

Sadly, this time it hadn’t saved us and Sidney turned around to wink at me. “Sooooo!” he said, pointing at me dorkily, “I knew this would happen!”

“What’re you talking about, Sid! I called it!!” Jordan said sarcastically. I turned to look at Eric and he shrugged under his hoodie. I smiled at him and rolled my eyes, turning back to Jordan.

“Well as long as we’re claiming stuff, I call him.” I said with equal sarcasm as I gestured back at Eric. A few people stopped for a minute to process it before laughing. Dan came over and put a hand on Eric’s shoulder.

“Congrats there, Gods. You got yourself a feisty one.” he said wryly, glancing down at me as I rolled my eyes.

“I think I can handle it.” Eric said with a boyish nod. Dan laughed in reply and left to his office, surely off to do post game interviews. Eric pulled me along with him to his stall to get his bag and just before we could get away Bob Errey walked over and smiled at us.

“Nice fight, Gods. One of the best I’ve ever seen.” he congratulated. He was truly impressed. I smiled. It had always been a goal of Eric’s to impress others with his fighting even if I saw it as senseless violence.

“Thanks. But most of that fight was made possible by Kris, Feds and Max.” Eric said over his shoulder, glancing towards Kris and Ruslan, who sat across the room getting some small cuts and bruises looked at by Chuck. His eyes searched the room for a minute looking for Max but he had already gone. I felt myself feeling surprised. Max was usually the last to leave. Always the one to wait around so that he could get an interview or give autographs. But today seemed different and he had vanished without a trace. Sighing to myself I left Eric to chat with Bob as I went into my office to grab my stuff so that I could go home. Our next game wasn’t until Tuesday so I would have a day to compose everything and get ready to face the Rangers. I knew, though, that Eric wouldn’t be letting me do too much so I’d have to do most of my work while he was asleep or out for practice tomorrow morning.

I opened the door to my office and walked in blindly, not paying attention to where I was going. And when I hit something solid I felt myself jump in surprise. I looked up to see what it was and met with the beautiful blue eyes of Maxime Talbot. I stood, frozen in time as his eyes looked me over. His breath tickled my face momentarily before he took a step back, separating us a few inches. And it was only then that my heart started again.

“What do you……?” I trailed off as his eyes hardened from their softness and he attempted to be angry with me.

“I just came to tell you that you’re a bitch. Fourth line? I can’t believe you!” he screamed. I knew why. I’d left the door open. Appearances. I pushed it closed and he relaxed a bit but not too much.

“What do you really want, Maxime?” I asked quietly, picking up my things and organizing them.

“Thanks.” he said quietly, “Thanks for hating me. And for fourth lining me. And thanks for being with Eric.” he said, ending a little bitterly.

“You’re going to get into so much trouble for that figh..” I started, cut off by Max’s steadfast glare.

“It doesn’t matter.” he answered easily, voice telling me exactly what he was feeling. I knew then that he didn’t care what kind of repercussions the fight had, he was glad he’d done it. I also knew he wouldn’t be playing any games for a while. I nodded a little to myself so he realized I’d heard him and I listened as the door opened and slam closed. I suppose I should get used to it. Max and I were going to hate each other for as long as it took for him to realize that we could be friends. I sighed a held breath and made sure I had everything before opening the door to a concerned looking Eric. I felt a sudden guilt for keeping my promise from him but I shook it off as he took my hand and pulled me down the hall.

“Max fighting with you again?” he asked bitterly.

“Yeah. But he’s Max. It’s what he does.” I told him, gaining the same surprised look I’d gotten earlier when I’d defended Max’s innocence. I quickly recovered, “He’s just an asshole.”

“Agreed. Now let’s get home. I’m tired.” he said, faking a yawn.

“My ass you are.” I answered quickly.

“Yeah….” he admitted deviously, turning around, “But I have to wait two weeks for that.”

“You really are an ass.” I said as we exited the Mellon and entered the parking lot.

“I loveee youuu!!” he answered dorkily, opening the car door for me. I smiled and got in, making myself as comfortable as I could with pain seeping into my consciousness. The medicine was wearing off. Eric jumped into the driver’s seat and pulled out into the post game traffic. Most of the cars were just from angry Flyers’ fans leaving to head home and some were the Flyers’ themselves just trying to get away from the Mellon as fast as they could. I saw Eric tense as he looked forward into one of the cars and I as I glanced ahead I could clearly see why. It was Scott Harnell’s rental. I knew then I had to distract him.

“Eric, how’s your hand?” I asked, looking over at his right hand, which was swollen and red.

“It’s fine.” he said under his breath, trying not to be short with me but failing miserably.

“He’s not worth it.” I told him firmly, gaining a sideways glance as we stopped at a light.

“But he did all this to you! You were in a coma for three days! You have stitches and a concussion and… and..” he trailed off in rage. I put my hand on his leg lightly.

“And I’m alive? And I’m sitting with you talking right now? And I’m going to be fine?” I offered. He sighed. Looking away from me he pulled out from the light and rather than follow Hartnell like I knew he wanted to, he turned down the street that lead to my house. I smiled to myself as he loosened up and relaxed, pulling towards my driveway. He parked and sat there for a minute in thought, head against the steering wheel. I would’ve stayed there with him in the silence of the car but the pain in my side was starting to seep further into my consciousness and I felt the sudden urge to tear away at my side in frustration.

I threw open the door and walked outside, leaving Eric dazed and slightly confused in the driver’s seat, staring after me. I opened the front door quickly and rushed inside to my room, hearing Eric’s footsteps following me after the door was closed quietly.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, walking into my room. I took no mind to answer him and I pulled my shirt over my head, revealing my powder blue silk bra. I didn’t really care if he saw, it was just like when we went swimming in the summer. No different than my bikini at all, save for the silkiness. I pulled the medicine off the table and was about to open it before he stopped me. Spinning me around he held me firmly by the arms and looked at me. “Are you trying to overdose?”

“It hurts!” I squeaked through pain. He held me closer and sighed.

“You can’t take anymore medicine for it. It’ll make you sick or worse you could overdose and lapse into a coma. You have to take the pain.” he whispered soothingly. I tried to squirm away but he held me. The pain shot up my spine and I almost fell down, feeling suddenly weak in the knees.

“It feels like I’m dying!!!” I shouted into his chest as another wave of pain shot up my back. He held me close, releasing me from his tight hold in favor of a gentler one.

“You can’t take any more. I’m sorry.” he told me, sliding the medicine out of my hand and tossing backwards onto the bed. The pain grew and I felt warm tears of frustration slide down my cheeks. I’d never cried in pain before but now it was called for. The pain was unlike anything I’d ever felt. Unparalleled to any pain I’d ever experienced in dreams or reality.

“Eric, it hurts so much………….” I whined through tears. He shushed me and held me to his chest, letting me cry.

“It’s alright. It’ll get better. I promise.” he assured me, running his hand lightly up my spine. A few minutes later the pain faded and dimmed and I was able to stop myself from crying anymore. Eric took notice of the silence and pulled away from me, looking down over me concernedly. “You’re better see. I told you.” he said quietly, letting me go.

I pulled him back and hugged him, being careful not to move too quickly. He kissed my head and sighed to himself, putting his arms gently back around me. “You’re always right anymore. The world’s upside down. It’s a sign of the apocalypse.” I joked. He chuckled to himself and ran his fingertips up my spine making me shiver.

“Always right, huh?” he asked rhetorically, “Well then I say that you’re the hottest girl I know.”

“And with that the world is righted again and you become normal.” I said sarcastically, looking up at him. He smiled down at me and met my now red lips with a pleasant kiss.

“If Sidney was here he’d have a witty comeback but all I’ve got is a kiss. Is that enough to prove I’m right?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. I smiled and nodded into his chest, putting my head down on him and listening to the beating of his heart.

“I guess so….” I trailed off enticingly. He tilted my head up with his fingers and his eyebrow seemed fixed in a raised position.

“Oh whatever else could I do?” he asked dramatically, putting his hand over his heart in a false freak out.

“Stay here?” I asked, glancing over my room before meeting his gaze again.

“Psh. I was going to whether you liked it or not.” he said, winking at me.

“Alright then. You’re always right and I’m wrong and I’m going to go to bed and…” I was interrupted by Eric.

“And you look really hot with no shirt.” he said, suddenly lustful. He’d been too worried before to really process the fact that I was standing half naked in front of him. His eyes traced me over, as they had a million times before, but now they were slower, taking the extra time he’d never been given before. He came closer but I put my hands lightly on his chest and kept him at bay.

“Two weeks, Eric. Fourteen days. 336 hours. 1140 minutes. 86400 seconds. Wait it out.” I told him. I’d always been extraordinary at math and this was no exception, even through the thick tension that was mounting itself between us.

“Longer than that depending on what we have to do at practice that day. I might be tired.” he mumbled into my neck, brushing his lips against my collar bone.

“I can get you out of practice.” I told him, letting out a sigh as he ran his tongue over my sweet spot.

“And if I keep this up…?” he asked between the butterfly kisses he was trailing up my neck.

“If you keep this up you’ll be waiting longer than that.” I told him feebly as he kept right on going.

“Mmmm you’re not a good liar.” his voice was rough and husky now, his breathing uneven.

“Eric, you know better than I do how bad these injuries are.” I reminded him, my breathing quickening as he kissed me again. He stopped and rested his head on my neck for a minute, thoughtful.

“Let’s just go to bed.” he resolved finally, standing up and kissing me. “You really know how to kill the mood.”

“I’m good at making the mood too.” I said winking at him as I turned around and slid on my nightshirt. I heard Eric sigh and I glanced over my shoulder at him as I took my phone out of my pocket and turned it off.

“I liked you better without the shirt.” he said as he sat down on my bed and shed his hoodie and shirt.

“What, not a big fan of yourself?” I asked curiously, sitting my phone down on the nightstand. He raised an eyebrow before taking notice that it was his number that was plastered on my back. A mischievous smile crossed his face and he chuckled to himself.

“I love you more.” he said, pants falling to the floor easily, leaving him in his shorts. I dropped a quick kiss on his lips before I passed him and slid into bed. He turned around and eyed me. “You’re such a tease!”

“Just ‘cause you want this.” I answered, tapping the lamp beside my bed off and leaving the only light coming from the lamp on his side. He sighed and kissed my head before turning out the light and sliding into bed beside me.

“Tease.” he repeated tiredly.

“Goodnight, Eric.” I said sarcastically, closing my eyes and almost immediately passing out. I had to give the medicine that much, it was a good sleep medication.

<><><>The next day : Monday February 16 th><><><><

The next day went by fairly quickly. I woke up late and was greeted by a hot cup of coffee and breakfast in the kitchen along with a note from Eric. He’d gone to practice about twenty minutes ago and he wasn’t going to be back until around four. It wasn’t surprising and it actually seemed a comfort to me. I felt a sidesplitting pain and hurried to apply the medication I’d been given and then slid back to the kitchen and started on my work.

Time slipped by and when I was finished it was already five. I looked around tiredly and found that nothing had moved. Curiously I went back to my lines and arranged everyone as they needed to be. I’d already done everything else and I’d written down the strength and weakness charts on the off chance that tomorrow I was still as tired as I was today. It felt like someone had drained every last bit of adrenaline I had and now I was an empty shell of tiredness. Maybe I would need that time off after all.

Around seven there was still nothing and I went to bed quietly. There was no way I was going to be able to make it through any more anything. At this rate I’d sleep for weeks. I was already asleep when Eric snuck in and joined me.

And for the next two weeks that’s how it went. Eric had practice almost everyday and I tagged along a few times if I wasn’t too tired to move. We took a week road trip after Tuesdays win over the Rangers. Playing the Thrashers, Lightning and Islanders all on one road trip was a bit overwhelming at some points for me, as I had to stay up all hours of the night to finish up on our down days and during play rides and car trips. But through it all Eric was there beside me, keeping me focused and lighthearted and reminding me to eat and take my medication when I needed it.

The Thrashers’ game on Thursday yielded an injury for Matt and he sat out on the bench with me, watching as the game went down the drain. 5-3 win for Atlanta that night. We all went solemnly to the next game in Florida. It was a sunny day on Saturday and it lead to a shining victory over the Lightning, 6-2. Spirits soared as the rest of the team headed out that night for a party. I, on the other hand, decided to stay in the hotel. I’d never been known to skip out on a celebration but this was understandable. I could barely keep my eyes open on the bench, let alone go to a bar and have fun with a rambunctious group of hockey players.

To my surprise, Eric skipped the party to stay with me, though I knew for certain I was not more fun than the party would have been. I fell asleep in his arms that night and woke up there the next morning before we were forced to leave on the plane ride to Pittsburgh. It was a quick stop at home to get more clothes before we left again for a bus trip to New York City. We arrived late that night and I stayed awake as best I could, running on Monster and a Hershey bar. The table of our Hilton hotel came to be my best friend and I fell asleep over my work, only half finished, early Monday morning. Luckily, the game was Tuesday and I woke up late the next day to finish up while Eric was out on the town with Marc and Sidney.

I finished up my work early the next day and took a five hour nap on the couch, waking up to Eric watching Sportscenter in the other room. I planned on getting up and seeing him but I couldn’t will myself off the couch and I faded back to sleep. I didn’t rise for the rest of the day and woke up Tuesday afternoon. Eric was there for around ten minutes before leaving for his morning skate. He didn’t return until around three but I greeted him with my awareness as I sat on the couch watching Family Guy. He joined me for a few hours, joking about Jordan’s crazy antics on ice this morning. We laughed and sat together until around six thirty as the game was slated to start at 7. He went to get ready and I joined him, sliding on a suit for the first time since I’d been hit.

We headed out to the game and I stood wearily on the bench, watching every bone crushing hit and lightning fast play that occurred. At the end of the night we went home victorious with a 5-4 win in overtime. The Islanders’ had really upped their game since our 9-2 win over them earlier in the season. Heading back to the hotel I fell into a restful night under the feather comforter in Eric’s arms. The next day fell into the monotony of a win as we took the bus ride home to Pittsburgh. When we got there we had the rest of the day off as it lead into another run of game afterwards. Wednesday provided another day of sleep for me and I woke Thursday morning to a cheery Eric chatting with an energetic Jordan Staal in the kitchen. I slid out of the bedroom and through Eric’s house to join them. We went out to lunch soon afterwards and headed to the Mellon late that night for our match up with the Capitals. They were a tough team but I had them mapped out and we won in a 2-1 overtime victory.

Later that night after the game, Alex Ovechkin and Nik Backstrom came to see me and wished me the best in my recovery, offering a hug and a kiss on the cheek before leaving me in Eric’s care. We headed back to Eric’s house for a well deserved rest and the next day was spent resting up for Saturday’s match up against the Devils. It was a loss but there was no harm done. We’d played a great game but the loss of Sergei Gonchar to injury was being felt in waves as the 3-2 loss to the Devils took effect.

Sunday was spent resting up for the back to back match up with Montreal and the Rangers on Monday and Tuesday. Eric had a hard practice Monday but he made time to take me to lunch at Promanti Brothers before we headed home to get ready for Montreal. The game went as flawlessly as could be hoped and we won in a shut out for the first time against them, 2-0. Another party happened but again I skipped out, Eric right with me. We headed to my house and collapsed on the couch, both energy depleted and tired. Tuesday reaped another long practice and a quick stop at Starbucks for coffee before a trip to the Mellon for the Rangers’ game.

I got caught in my office by an old friend by the name of Marc Staal and he chilled with me until game time, at which point we were sworn enemies again. At least until the final horn. And as the anthem played in the arena I realized for the first time in weeks what day it was. March 3 rd. Four days until Eric’s 29^th birthday. I’d planned nothing. Not that I hadn’t had a good excuse but that was still no reason to not have something planned, even if it was just something small.

The game ended in a shoot out with the game winning goal scored by Geno. A party and a nice chat with Marc Staal later and I headed home with Eric in tow for some well needed rest. The next two days were spent doing interviews and helping Dan and Gilles prepare for our next game with Carolina. All through the practice with Marc I was distracted as I began the planning of Eric’s birthday. I still had no idea what I was going to do and Saturday was creeping up on me like fox. Marc took notice and we stopped practicing early and went out to dinner at Olive Garden. He let me in on the secret that the whole team was planning a big party for Eric. Perfect. Now I only needed a present. We finished up and Marc dropped me off at my house. It was quiet and I knew that Eric must’ve just stayed home that night.

Paying no mind to it I went to bed and awoke on Friday morning with a strong determination to find a present for Eric. I let it slide as Eric took me to the hospital early to get my stitches out and he sat in as the nurse pulled them out slowly. I flinched but only once and as soon as they were gone she gave me the go ahead to do whatever I wanted but told me to watch out for overexertion and said that I should be sure to take the new medication the doctor gave me every six hours for a week.

And as we drove away Eric made a few sarcastic remarks about the ‘crazy’ meds they’d just given me. We joked and laughed as we headed home for lunch and then out to the Mellon for our game against the Hurricanes.

I headed into the arena with a new determination and a fierce energy that was unmatched to any I’d had in the last few weeks. Eric squeezed my hand and kissed me as he headed to his stall to get changed. I took the fast route through the bustling locker room and headed into my office, preparing the papers for tonight’s game. They had been easy to make up as I had the help of Jordan’s input about his older brother’s game.

A knock resonated in my office and lead me back from my thoughts about the game. I looked up to see a bright blue jersey with the ‘A’ patched on the front.

“Come in!” I said happily as Geno pushed the door open slowly. He peeked his head around the door and smiled at me.

“Uh… you are…. Wanted for interview.” he said, his accent overbearing in his words. I smiled at him and stood, gathering my papers and walking across the room. I kissed his cheek and he turned a little red.

“Thank you, Geno.” I said as I passed him and headed out of my office and down the hall to where I knew Dan Potash would be standing by waiting for me. I got to him in record time and he shook my hand.

“Ready for your first interview since………..?” he trailed off, uncertain of whether or not I wanted to do this. I smiled and nodded.

“I’ve been ready for weeks, Dany.” I said reassuringly as he cued the camera man.

“We’re here standing by with Assistant Goaltending Coach, Bernie Armstrong. Now Bernie we know it’s been an especially tough run for you these last two weeks after that horrible crash with Scott Hartnell of the Flyers’ back on February Eleventh, but has that effected your game planning or have you been on top of it all along?” Dan asked, turning to me. I paused for thought before answering.

“It hasn’t really had any effect on me. I’ve been behind the team the whole time scheming out plays for us and making sure that we win some big ones and get to the playoffs this year. We really needed a few wins and I think that after all this time on bed rest and with some encouragement from Eric, I’ve really done pretty well at being on top of everything.” I answered, smiling at him. He laughed to himself a little before continuing on.

“Well we’re certainly glad to see that your on your way to a speedy recovery and we’re thankful to have you helping the team on their run. We won’t keep you for too much longer but let me ask you one more question before we let you go. You and Eric Godard, what’s going on there? Anything you want to let the fans here in Pittsburgh in on?” he asked slyly. I laughed to myself and nodded.

“Well finally someone catches on.” I joked, smiling at him. We laughed for a minute before he said something else.

“We all here in Pittsburgh have noticed your closeness as best friends but is there anything lying deeper than that?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow. I didn’t have to say anything in reply. Quite frankly I didn’t have a chance. Arms found their way around my waist and I knew who it was without question. “Eric! We were just talking about you!” Dan said, surprised, turning back to the camera for a moment. “Eric Godard’s joined us now as well. What an honor it is.” he joked.

“Dany, you’re not tormenting my girl are you?” he said, standing up tall and glaring menacingly down at Dan. Dan shook his head no and we all laughed.

“I’ll take that as I yes, then?” he questioned, pressing on. I looked sideways up at Eric and he smiled, nodding just enough for me to notice.

“You should take it as a definite yes.” I answered, leaning back into Eric’s padded chest. Dan smiled.

“Well, Eric, since you’re here I have one question for you. Tomorrow’s your twenty-ninth birthday. How will you be spending your time?”

“I’m thinking about just spending the day at home.” Eric said slyly, glancing down at me. Dany and I exchanged glances and a laugh before he turned to the camera.

“Well thanks to both of you for the interview. Back to you up top, Staggy.” And with that the camera clicked off and Dany turned to us both. I didn’t notice at all as I got caught up in a light kiss with Eric. We broke apart and turned to see Dany smiling at us. “That would’ve been great on camera.”

“Can’t give them too much. I keep her to myself for the most part.” Eric said as his grip on my waist tightened.

“Well, good luck tonight, guys. I’ll be seeing you post game.” he said, walking away with the camera man in tow. I turned around in Eric’s arms and leaned up to him, kissing him one more time.

“A day at home, huh?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. He smiled that evil smirk and kissed me again, harder this time.

“Mmmmhmmmm!” he said, nodding dorkily as he let me go and walked passed me to the runway. I rolled my eyes at him and headed for the coaches’ meeting that I was already a few minutes overdue to. I stopped, only for second as I realized that Max had been watching the whole ordeal. He turned away and scurried into the locker room again. A pain that I hadn’t felt for weeks welled up in my stomach but I shook it off easily and turned my attention to the meeting.

I walked in quietly and found that Gilles and Mike weren’t in attendance yet either and Dan sat alone at the table, organizing himself. I closed the door behind me and joined him at the table, taking Mike’s normal seat beside him. He looked up from his work and smiled through what seemed to be an already stressful night.

“What’s wrong with you, Coach?” I asked, sitting my papers down as I looked him over. There were lines of worry in his face I didn’t recognize ever seeing before.

“Sidney’s down with sickness and Matt’s out for his injury until next game. Gonch is down. We’re losing steam here.” he said, voice anguished. I sighed and turned to my charts. I’d planned for this a long time ago. Obviously Dan hadn’t been looking that far ahead.

“I’ve got it covered, Danny. Calm down. Take a breath or two. We’ll be fine.” I assured him, pulling out the line up sheet and the weaknesses sheet. “Here. Look, see. I’ve got this.”

He took a moment to look over the sheets before breathing a sigh of relief as he sat them down. Glancing over at me, his eyes were dancing and I could tell that he was truly happy to have me there. “This is flawless. How do you do it?”

“I’ve got my ways. And having The Enforcer around to encourage me is pretty helpful too.” I joked, finally getting a rise out of him as Gilles popped his head around the corner.

“Game time, Dan.” he said through his accent and a smile that was directed at me. Gilles had already seen the game plan and he too had been impressed.

“Where’s Mike?” Dan ask, standing up in unison with me.

“He’s on the bench tending to Max Talbot’s anger problem.” Gilles answered easily, leaving without explanation. Dan and I exchanged glances as we walked after him and joined the team on the bench for the national anthem. I took my place at the other end of the bench as the first line was out for warm ups. And it was then that I realized what Gilles had meant. The refs were just now pulling apart a tussle between Max and Eric Staal. Max and Staalsy were sent back to the benches because it was too early for penalties and I had to regroup as the first line retreated to the bench and the second line went out. I found myself angry that this was how it had to be. Now the second line had to stay out for two shifts to keep everything in order.

“Maxime Talbot! What were you thinking!?” I asked angrily as I walked up behind him. He just shook his head.

“I was thinking about how far his helmet would go across ice before his head hit the wall.” he answered, sarcasm and hatred deep in his voice. It was a tone he’d never before taken with me. And one that I knew I would never let him take with me again.

“You need to clean up your act before I scratch you and you get a rest from the game for a few weeks.” I growled heading back to my place on the bench. I could hear him laughing behind me in a vengeful way. It was odd and out of place in the cheerful sounds of the otherwise happy Penguins team. I sighed off the building anger towards him and tried to enjoy the game.

The first period gave way to three more fights between Max and Staalsy and I was fairly close to taking his head off every time he slid down the bench close enough to me. Dan and Mike had to remind me not to a few times and as we headed into the second tied at 2 I reminded Max how close he was to being benched indefinitely. He laughed me off again and the second followed the firsts pattern, though this time it was sprinkled with more Carolina penalties.

The third was uneventful and we went into a shoot out still tied at two. Max headed off the bench and into the locker room early and I followed angrily. I found him slamming his pads around all over the place and his glove almost hit me in the face as I entered the locker room.

“What the hell is your problem, Talbot!?” I screamed over the sounds of his things hitting various walls. He stopped for a minute, eyes looking me over in hesitation. He was obviously debating whether or not to tell me what was the matter.

“Nothing! I’m just frustrated.” he answered angrily, throwing himself down in his stall.

“That’s no fucking reason for your shitty attitude tonight. I’m benching you next game and if your attitude doesn’t improve you’re going to be scratched longer than that. You got me?” I asked, anger flaring up inside me like it never had before. I glared down at him and he met my anger with a look of sorrow. It was a look I wasn’t prepared for, a look that took me off guard. A look that let my guard down as I fell back.

“I don’t. And that’s the problem.” he mumbled under his breath, not realizing I’d heard him. I blinked a few times and acted as though I hadn’t. It was better that way, I knew.

“Do you understand?” I asked, flaring the anger one more time. He nodded and looked up understandingly.

“I get it.” he whispered, standing up and gathering his pads before he began to change. Just before I got a chance to say something else to him the rest of the team burst in and Eric attacked me. He threw his arms around my waist and picked me up off the ground, swinging me around and kissing me triumphantly.

“We won!!” he screamed excitedly kissing me again. “MVP strikes again!”

“Yes!!” I said happily, throwing my arms around his neck and joining in the rejoicing of the victory over Carolina. It was only after Eric sat me down and began to get dressed that I noticed Max sitting, angry again, a few feet away in his stall. I took no mind to him and walked to Eric. I ruffled his hair before walking away and into my room, gathering my things and sitting down for a moment to make sure that I had all my papers for the next game so that I could get some work done before Monday. Two days off was a great deal in hockey time and I planned to get ahead before I took some well needed rest.

I barely noticed when Eric walked into my office and came over to me but I did take notice when his lips found his favorite spot on my neck.

“Not at work, sweetheart.” I whispered to him. He backed off and took my hand, pulling me out of the chair.

“C’mon. Let’s go home. I’m tired. Need to rest up for my birthday.” he said as he pulled me with him out the door and past everyone in the locker room including a glaring Max. I watched as Max’s eyes followed after Eric in a heavy glare before he looked at me and that same look of remorse swept over him. I sighed and looked away as Eric’s eagerness overwhelmed me. We jumped into his car and drove towards his house. We’d been alternating for a week or two now and I’d given the guys the go ahead to set up the party at my house tonight so that it would be ready tomorrow.

We pulled into Eric’s driveway a few minutes later and he nearly jumped out of the car before it stopped and the engine cut. I raised an eyebrow. What was he so eager to get to that couldn’t wait three seconds while the car stopped? Getting out I followed his excited steps to the door and headed inside, closing the door behind me.

“Eric?” I called out through the now quiet house. I could only hear the faintest sounds of movement in his room and I took off my shoes at the front door. Curious. Very curious. I sat down my bag on the back of the couch and headed down the hall quietly, listening for any clue as to what he was doing. “Godssyyyy?” I called out again childishly.

“Yeesss???” he answered from his room. I walked briskly there and found him standing in front of his closet, hurriedly digging something out. I sighed and sat down at the edge of his bed, waiting patiently as he continued his search for an unknown object.

“What are you doing?” I asked, raising an eyebrow and watching him continue his so far frivolous search.

“I’m looking for…….. AHA!” he said, pulling out a pink bag from his closet. I couldn’t help it and I let out a girlish laugh.

“Why do you have a pink…..” and I stopped short. He’d moved just enough to let the words on the front show through. I could clearly make out Victoria’s in black script.

“This, dear, is my present to myself. And an early present for you.” he said, dropping the bag back into his closet as he turned to face me with whatever it was behind his back.

“Please tell me it’s not lingerie.” I joked, rolling my eyes. He stuck out his lip in a pouty way.

“Oh now there you go ruining your birthday.” he answered with sarcasm. “Close your eyes.” he said, “Close your eyes and trust me. I’ll take you to the bathroom and just keep an open mind with me, please?” he asked. I sighed a nodded, closing my eyes and letting him lead me to the bathroom. I felt him put something in my hands and I heard the door close. Opening my eyes I saw what it was and why he had been so excited.

Glancing down over what was in my hands I saw that whatever it was, it was colored Vegas gold and black. Pens colors. And it was silky under my touch. That was a dead give away that it was from VS. I sat it down on the marble countertop and pulled it open from the mass of silk that it had been in my hands. It came apart in two pieces. There were pajama pants that were normal enough and I slid them on happily, relaxing as soon as I was out of my suit. But then there came the top. It looked at first like a normal top but as I held it up I noticed some differences. It was shorter and I knew that it wouldn’t go over my pants too much. The neck line plunged way lower than any shirt I’d ever worn and the back had a tie that criss-crossed in a spaghetti strap starting from around three inches from the top. I sighed unhappily at first as I slid off my other clothes and slid it on. It wasn’t tight, as I previously assumed. It was actually fairly loose and pleasant and I looked myself over in the mirror a few times to make sure everything was in its place. I observed how I looked and I admitted finally that it wasn’t as bad as I thought. Gathering my other clothes I took a deep breath and went out of the bathroom, expecting to find Eric.

I walked, instead, into a quiet room full of nothing but material things and air. Sitting my stuff down on a chair near the bed. I looked around the room and found nothing. “Godsy? Where’d you go?” I asked, peaking my head out the bedroom door and down the hall. I heard something drop in the kitchen as Eric came around the corner in a hurry.

“Are you changed?” he asked edgily.

“Yeah? But I have something to say before you come see me.” I said quietly. He nodded and waited patiently for me to speak again. “You can not freak out.”

“No promises.” he answered, walking down the hall as calmly as he could. I smiled and turned around waiting for him to come through the door. He did in a minute and his arms snaked around my waist greedily. His voice was heavy with lust and want but I took no steak in it. “I haven’t even seen the front of you and already I think you look sexy.”

“No freaking out?” I asked, making a pouting face as I turned my head up to see him. He nodded and I turned around, leaving him stunned for a minute. My face twisted into a wicked smile as I saw the look of surprise on his face. I ran my hands over my hips lightly, “What, no good?”

“No good? No good?? Better than good. Soo much better than good.” he said, taking a step forward. I didn’t make any move to back away from him and his body was pressed to mine in a few seconds. We fit snugly together and he eyed me again before putting his arms around me and kissing me, throwing every little emotion he was feeling into the mix. I smiled into his kiss and finally made a move to pull away. He raised an eyebrow in a confused way as I backed up towards the bed. And then he got the message. It was the wrong one but at least he was thinking the right way. I sat down on the edge of the bed and waited as he walked over to me in a daze. His eyes were glazed over and he watched every single move I made.

“I’ve just got one thing to say to you, Mr. Godard.” I said, voice tantalizing and light. He nodded and came closer, forcing me to lay back on the bed. He kissed my collar bone once before pausing.

“Yes..?” he asked roughly, launching another attack on my sweet spot. He ran his tongue over it and I felt myself almost lose the strength I’d had a minute ago. I was almost completely overtaken with lust but I caught myself before I fell off the cliff and I pushed him away lightly. He stopped and looked down at me curiously, confused.

“Tomorrow is your birthday. This was your early present to yourself so you can’t get another until tomorrow. That’s the rule. Your mom said it herself when we were kids.” I smiled at him. He kissed me again and silenced my laughter.

“Awe please? Just break the pact just this one time.” he asked before he kissed me again.

“No no. We don’t break traditions.” I told him, kissing his cheek before I slid away from him and crawled into bed, leaving him completely shocked.

“Happy Birthday to me.” he said sarcastically, voice dull now. He got into bed next to me and turned off the light, sliding one arm around my waist. I cuddled up into his chest and sighed to myself as he ran his fingertips over the part of my stomach where my shirt had been pushed up.

“You’re pushing your luck, Godsy.” I joked tiredly before a yawn. He chuckled behind me and I fell asleep in his arms not too long after that.

><><March 7^th Saturday><><><>

I slept pleasantly as dreams of our childhood flooded back and the memory of our pact on Christmas when I was 4 and he’d been 8.

-Flashback-

-End Flashback-

My eyes fluttered open to show the light of a bright new day shining through the blinds in the other room and across the hall as I faded back into the day from my dreams. It was Eric’s birthday. And it was going to be a great one.

I moved a little only to find that I was still hindered by Eric’s arms. I smiled to myself and cuddled up into his chest, listening to the slow steady sounds of his soft snores and heartbeat falling into perfect rhythm. I laid there for a minute quietly just enjoying being there before I slithered away and out of his arms.

I walked into the kitchen to find the light still on from the night before. I knew he’d forgotten something in his rush to come see me in my pajamas. Sighing, I turned the light off and walked into the living room with my cell phone in hand. It was around eleven and I knew for certain that Sidney and Marc would be making the final touches to Eric’s party at my house. I clicked my speed dial and my phone rang for a minute before being answered.

“Hello?” Sidney’s voice was lively and upbeat and I knew that he’d been up for hours before me. Yawning I tried to say something.

“Hey, Sid. How’s the party going?” I asked finally, still quite tired.

“Hey! It’s going great! Thanks for letting us use your house. But how did you manage to keep Eric from coming back here last night?” he asked curiously through a bustle that was going on in the background close by. I could hear Matt yelling at Marc and Gonch joking around with Orpik. My house was going to be a mess.

“Oh it wasn’t too difficult.” I said, glancing down over my silky pajamas slyly. I could hear Sidney laughing in unison with Kris on the other end and I knew then that I was on speaker.

“So how’d you both sleep last night?” Kris asked sarcastically. I laughed and shook my head, though I knew he couldn’t see me.

“Peacefully.” I answered firmly making him laugh harder.

“Did you wake the neighbors?” Matt asked from a little further away. I laughed.

“We went to sleep. Hardly loud enough to wake the neighbors.” I assured him. I could hear snickering on the other end and I just rolled my eyes. “So how’s everything there?”

“It’s going great. We’re almost done. Hey, there’s one more thing we need from you.” Sid’s voice was clearer now and I knew that he’d taken me off speaker. Curious.

“What’s that?” I asked, sipping the coffee that I’d gotten from the kitchen.

“Dress………………. Sexy.” he said after a moment of deliberation to assure correct working. I sighed.

“Do I have to be whorish?” I questioned, taking a second drink a I began to finally wake from the daze I was in.

“No. But look sharp.” he said happily. I was glad he was letting me off easy. Anyone else would’ve said yes.

“Okay. Fine. What time do you want me to bring him there?” I asked, flipping on Sports Center.

“Actually, you don’t have to. TK and Geno were gonna take him out to the movies today so you’ve got some time to get ready.” Sid’s voice was temporarily light and happy before he turned away from the phone to yell at Gonch and Brooks. I laughed to myself as he came back, “Sorry about that.”

“It’s alright. What time should I be there?” I asked, raising an eyebrow as Sports Center began to run highlights of the Pens game.

“Uhm……. Seven thirty?” he half asked.

“Sounds fine. Hey, I’ll talk to you later, Squidney. Godsy’s up.” I said quickly. He said goodbye but my hand was already on the end button. He’d understand. We couldn’t let Godsy know about his party early.

I pulled my legs up close to me on the couch and sat comfortably with my coffee, listening to Eric go through the house looking for me. I just sat there in waiting, listening to the sounds of the ESPN announcers talking about the NBA and who they believed was going to the playoffs. I could’ve cared less. I just wanted the NHL and MLB; NBA and PGA could go die. Nascar on the other hand. That was something else entirely.

I could’ve been left to my thoughts for a while longer but I was interrupted by Eric coming around the corner. He sat down next to me and threw one arm over my shoulders, kissing my cheek.

“Good Morning, Bijou!” He said cheerily. I tilted my head over and leaned on his chest, taking one more drink of coffee before I said anything.

“Morning, Godsy.” I said lightly, glancing up to see his eyes were bright and rested.

“It’s March Seventh. You know what that means..” he trailed off, allowing me to guess.

“Alright, I’ll bite. What does that mean?” I questioned, looking him over.

“That means that today is my birthday. And I get all my presents today.” he answered childishly, nodding his head. I smiled and sat my coffee down on the table before saying anything to him.

“What does that have to do with the price of rice in China?” I joked.

“Oh shut up and kiss me.” he said demandingly. I smiled to myself and looked up at him, getting caught up in a slow warm kiss. He let me out of it and his eyes opened halfway, gazing down at me in a haze.

“Anything for the birthday boy.” I whispered softly. He leaned his forehead on mine lightly and smiled.

“God, I love you.” he said with real truth in his voice.

“Even if I’m a tease?” I asked with a sarcastic smile. He laughed a little under his breath and laced our fingers.

“Because you’re a tease.” he answered with a smile equaling my own. I sighed and as he backed away I fell back into his chest comfortably, his arms pulling me closer. “Because you’re a tease and you’re beautiful and amazing and mine. And just because I can.”

“Well aren’t you a sweetheart.” I started, putting my hands on top of his, “I love you. End of story. No reasons.”

“Wanna go out to lunch with me, mon petite bijou?” he asked, hugging me from behind.

“I’d like that.” I answered, freeing myself from his grasp and standing up. He gave me a funny look and I felt the need to explain myself.

“I have to take my meds and get dressed if I plan on going anywhere. I can’t go out like this.” I explained, pulling my shirt out away from my body in show. He smiled evilly and stood up, putting his arms around my waist.

“How about we stay in and you stay in those clothes?” he proposed.

“You have to go out with Geno and TK. Don’t turn this around like that, Godsy.” I said, pulling away with him in tow.

“Fun killer.” he commented under his breath as I walked into the guest room and pulled out some jeans and a shirt. They were meaningless today so I didn’t take time to make sure they were what I wanted. It didn’t matter. I was going to change again today anyways. I laughed as he repeated himself.

“I thought I was a tease not a fun killer.” I called over my shoulder as I slipped on my bra and a blue Pens shirt.

“You’re both!” he answered from his room. I could hear the shuffling of clothes in his closet and I knew that he was getting dressed just as I was.

“Greeeeaaaat.” I said sarcastically as I put on my dark wash jeans and slipped on my paint splattered belt. I shoved my ipod into my left pocket and my cell into the other and walked out of my room to see Eric in an epic battle with his pants. He’d gotten them on and he’d pulled up the zipper but the button on top was causing him problems of epic proportions. I stood in the doorway and laughed as he kept trying.

“AHHH! I HATE PANTS!” he squealed unhappily as he continued to fidget with the button.

“Take ten seconds, stop and take a breath and then try one more time.” I told him with a devious smile crossing my face. He took a breath and just as I suggested he tried once more, successful this time. His face turned up to see me and he just shook his head.

“I’m sick of you and your Sports Medicine psychology.” he said in a childlike whine. I smiled at him. He was always one to complain.

“Well I’m sick of Detroit. What’re you gonna go about it?” I asked sarcastically, raising an eyebrow wryly. His eyes turned light and I knew that there was some sort of thoughts running through his mind.

“Beat them up?” he offered, raising an eyebrow in questioning. I couldn’t help it and I rolled my eyes.

“Must you be so violent?” I said, pulling on my Pens hoodie. He laughed to himself.

“Actually I’m pretty gentle.” his voice was smooth and light as I approached him, stepping over mounds of clothes that he hadn’t bothered to pick up.

“Whatever you say birthday boy.” I rolled my eyes as I took his hand and pulled him out of the room easily.

“Well I say we go to Promanti Brothers for lunch.” he said triumphantly as he pulled me down the hallway towards his front door. I let him drag me a far as he wanted but I moved a little when he turned too quickly and I almost hit a wall.

“Deal. After should I just drive home and leave you with TK and Geno?” I asked, slipping on my shoes quickly and leaving him standing in the house by himself. He followed me in a minute and sadly nodded his head.

“Do I really have to go with them? I wanted to spend the day with you, sweetheart.” he pleaded. He shot me a glance that made me almost feel weak in the knees. His eyes caught mine for a minute and we stood there, frozen in time before I blinked and looked away.

“Yeah you do. It’s your birthday but I can’t just keep you away from the guys.” I told him, walking to his car and getting in. I could see the clear look of disappointment and disagreement in his eyes.

“Screw the guys! I want my besterest friend!” he fought back childishly as he got into the driver’s seat.

“You’ve already got her now stop your complaining and drive me to lunch…. Pwease.” I said bring back the voice that always got me my way in childhood. He smiled faintly and turned over the engine, pulling out and down the street.

“You’re lucky your cute. No other woman’s ever been able to make me submit.” he said through a laugh. I shook my head.

“I seem to remember one other. Her name is Hannahh Weatherly.” I said all knowingly. I knew that at that moment Eric wouldn’t be able to hold in a smile.

“Hannnahh. Wow. I haven’t thought about her for along time. I wonder how she is. Do you and Kathryn still keep in touch?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as we passed the Mellon where Sid’s car sat next to Marc’s. Good cover. Kathryn had been my best friend all through school, along with her sister Hannahh; who’d dated Eric for most of his childhood years. They, in addition to Bryan Keller, were among the people who Eric and I spent almost all of 10 years with. I hadn’t realized until now how much I missed them.

“I talked to Kat around Christmas and Bryan called me yesterday while you were at practice.” I informed him, “But I haven’t talked to Hannahh in a long time.” I finished as I stared out the tinted window to the passing street.

“How are they? I haven’t heard from any of them since….. Wow, it’s been years.” he said, turning another corner easily.

“Bryan’s getting married.” I said, a smile turning up in the corners of my mouth.

“Really? Wow. Go Bryan. Who?” he continued happily. He and Bryan had always been like brothers but even I knew he’d flip shit when he found out who he was marrying. It was that thought that made me giggle.

“Kathryn Elizabeth Weatherly.” I answered simply. I could almost hear the surprise in Eric’s head as he began to process the information given to him.

“Bryan and Kat? Wow. I never saw that one coming.” he said in shock. I laughed as he pulled into the parking garage nearest to the restaurant.

“Oh c’mon. That’s what Bryan said about us when I told him.” I said, putting my hand in his as the car’s engine cut. A sneaky smile crept onto his face and he turned his head to me, eyes glittering.

“Bryan’s full of it. He’s known since our 8^th grade year that I was in love with you.” he told me, kissing my hand.

“Alright, lover boy. Let’s go to lunch before I get a toothache.” I joked. He chuckled and got out of the car, pulling the door closed behind him before coming around and waiting for me. I got out and he pulled me along behind him towards the shop.

“Philly cheese steaks?” he asked, letting go of my hand as we got closer to the door of PB.

“Yep.” I answered as he headed inside to a hero’s welcome. The owners of the shop had become big fans of his fights and they were always very happy to see us. Now that we’d started dating they were supportive of us and always greeted us with a rousing welcome.

Eric exited the shop with the sounds of cheering behind him and what seemed to be the chanting of his name a few minutes later and I sat, unphased, at a table nearby on the sidewalk. He came over to me after glancing around and sat down in front of me, sliding my cheese steak across the table.

“I hear they’re happy to see you.” I said after opening my sandwich and taking a large bite of it. I loved the food here. It was the best.

“Oh yeah. They’re ecstatic. Birthday welcome. I got free cheese steaks.” he said through a mouthful of food. Normally I would’ve told him not to talk with his mouth open but today was a different day and I decided that he deserved at least one day without me picking on him.

We sat in relative silence save for a few people who waved at us or came over to ask us about something Penguins related. A few people wearing jerseys just came over to wish Eric a happy birthday, to which he smiled and thanked them. We finished up our sandwiches and sat at the table for a few minutes sipping our drinks quietly and chatting about nothing.

Finally around 2 we left Promanti Brothers and I hopped into the driver’s seat with Eric whining all the while.

“Do I haveeee to??” he asked childishly.

“Yes, Honey, you have to. TK and Geno just want to take you out for your birthday. Just be nice to them and later you can have a present.” I said, turning down a street that lead to the movie theatre. He smirked to himself and I knew what he was thinking but chose not to say anything to him. He could think whatever he wanted as long as he just went with TK and Geno long enough for me to get ready and for the party to be finished.

“I guess this’ll be fine then. Do I get a present now?” he asked, opening his door as we stopped in front of the theater. I glanced over to see TK and Geno standing boredly at the door. They waved in at me and smiled, giving me a thumbs up and mouthing thank you’s to me. I nodded a little to myself and leaned over, giving Eric a short kiss. He smiled as he pulled away and got out of the car, closing the door and walking up the curb to TK and Geno. They disappeared inside and I drove away towards my house.

I arrived home around 3:15 after doing some last minute errands. I had to pick up a skirt from my friend Lindsey’s house and one of my undershirts from Eric’s place before heading home. Sidney had told me to look sharp and I planned on looking very sharp. Knock em dead wouldn’t be a more true statement, I would make sure of that.

I knocked on the door and walked into my house to find nothing in the house. Absolutely nothing. And it surprised me for a minute. They’d been here setting up. But what had they done? Nothing in the house for sure. I found myself a little panicked before I heard the sliding glass door in the back closing and footsteps coming towards me. I saw Marc’s bright face greet me and I smiled.

“Marc!!” I said happily, dropping my stuff on the couch and running over to greet him. I saw him almost everyday but we were best friends and that called for a happy greeting. He picked me up off the floor before sitting me back down and offering me that infamous Marc-Andre smile.

“Bernie! Nice to see you! We need some help…. Sidney’s hopeless.” he said, shaking his head. I realized then that the party was outback in the yard. Well, more like a very large field. My house wasn’t the biggest ever but I’d made sure when I’d moved in that I had a yard. It was always one of my peeves to live in a place with no yard.

“Hopeless, you say?” Sidney asked, peeking his head around the corner. He came over with a smile and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, pulling some streamers along behind him. I raised an eyebrow.

“Streamers?” I asked, talking a few steps behind Marc towards the yard. Sidney’s arm went up and he stopped me.

“Ah ah ah! Nope! You can’t see the party yet! Not until you get dressed!” he said in a manner that much reminded me of the childhood bullies that had plagued the cafeteria for lunch money.

“Siddy! Pweaseee?” I begged, pouting. He shook his head and wagged his finger in my face in a girly way.

“No no. That won’t work. Go get dressed and then you can come help us. That’s final. No buts.” he said firmly. I knew his decision stood and I sighed, walking off in defeat towards my room. He smiled behind me and I heard him going back outside. I headed into my room and pulled a few things out of my closet along with my jewelry box and perfume.

Heading into my bathroom, I closed and locked the door. You never knew what would happen with these guys. I slipped out of my clothes and started what I knew would be almost an hour long process. I started with my clothes. I slid on my clear strapped bra and my black speghetti strap tank top that was embezzled with the Pens logo on one side and three numbers in a row on the other. 28-87-71. Below those were two more numbers, 55-58. And below that was one more, 29. I’d made it to the first game lineup I’d ever arranged. It was the first line of the first game I’d ever played with the Pens. Special. Awesome. Worthy of a 6-2 win.

As I adjusted my shirt I slid off my pants and made sure that my legs were perfect before I jumped into my black and white striped skirt. It was shorter than the skirts I usually wore by about three inches and while it wasn’t completely uncomfortable I could think of a lot of things I would’ve much rather been wearing. Sighing to myself I checked my watch. I’d already been here for twenty minutes and I hadn’t even started to get ready yet.

I pulled out my makeup bag from the top drawer under my sink and took out the mascara, eyeliner, tweezers, eye shadow, cover up and fingernail polish. I started with my eyebrows and I plucked them to perfection, a task that was not easily done with fifteen minutes of time before I started on my cover up effort. I put on my foundation and cover up and found that it was perfect before I applied my eyeliner meticulously. I messed up a few times and had to redo it but in the end I was satisfied. Eye shadow was next and I applied just a little bit, not even enough to be completely noticeable by anyone but someone standing very near. But I knew without question that Eric would notice. He always did.

Mascara came next and it only took a second for me to do after I curled my eyelashes up. When all the makeup was on I had to admit I’d done a great job but next came the fun part. I flipped on the fan and checked my watch again. It was nearly 5. I sat down on the toilet seat and removed my old nail polish, painting my nails black with silver sparkles and glow in the dark shine. It took about ten minutes for them to dry so I sat in wait patiently as I watched the fan spin around. When they were finally dry I pulled out my hair straighter and began the task of fixing the crazy curls I’d gotten from not straightening my hair this morning. They were alright but straight hair was what I wanted tonight. I fixed it up and after another half hour of fidgeting with it I found it to be as perfect as it was going to get. Sighing to myself I checked the time one final time and saw that it was now 5:50. Godsy would be home with TK and Geno soon and I could hear the bustle of everyone in the house as I came out of the bathroom. I’d forgotten something, though, and I walked back in to get the small jewelry box that sat on the counter.

I opened it up and pulled out a small black box that was tattered and worn by age. I flipped open the lid gently and the light shown on a small heart necklace with inset stones around the edges. It was the same necklace Eric had given me when I was four. I still had it. Slipping it on gingerly I exited the bathroom, flipping off the light as I went. I checked myself in the wall mirror before slipping on my fancy black flats and heading out into the hallway. I could see people moving around but I couldn’t quite tell who was headed where. Finally, as I neared the living room, Sidney stopped in surprise and his eyes traced me over.

“When I said sharp I didn’t mean drop dead gorgeous.” he managed finally, smiling at me. I offered him a catty smirk before I headed into the kitchen where the cake that I’d made for Eric sat. It was his favorite, old fashioned Canadian Napoleon cake. Just like my grandmother had made for us every year as kids. I slid it into the refrigerator before turning around and finding Sidney and Jordan now hesitating to move in the doorway.

“What?” I asked, raising an eyebrow as I walked by them and out the doors to the backyard. Gonch, Tanger, Chris, Hal, Feds, Marc, Pascal, Miro, Mat, Cookie, Brooks, Billy, Craig, Petr, Scudsy, Eaton and Alex sat in the yard amidst an explosion of sudden additions to the usually plain scenery.

There was a dance floor set up, much like there had been at Max’s party, along with a flurry of tables and chairs; enough, I knew, to support the whole Pens team, wives and girlfriends and a bunch of friends. There was a table set up a few feet away from the door that had every food I could think of sitting on it. A pile of burgers and other assorted grilling meats sat near the grill along with a large stack of plates and silver wear. I glanced around to see the streamers from earlier, messily tossed into the trees around the perimeter and a banner was hung up on the house that said “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JACKASS!” I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You look………” Kris started before trailing off, forgetting his own words.

“Yeah, you’re…….” Alex tried, losing his words as well.

“Hot.” Jordan said from the door behind me with a little more emphasis than was needed. I rolled my eyes at him. Such a little player.

“Thanks.” I said, walking down through the yard towards the table where Marc, Mat and Brooks sat. I took a seat next to Marc and leaned forward on my hands boredly. “Just taking a guess here but everyone else is showing up soo……” I started, interrupted by the sounds of people coming up the street.

“They parked at my house. We can’t let them know before hand.” Sid said, exiting my house and following my lead to the table. He sat down in the chair beside mine and sighed. “And now we wait.”

“Has anybody heard from them?” I asked, glancing around as the wives, girlfriends and friends piled into the yard excitedly, chattering about this and that.

“They’re on their way.” Hal said as he busily texted someone who I assumed to be either TK or Geno on his Voyager. I smiled. Almost time.

“Alright. You have to hide.” Sidney and Marc said in unison, standing and coming over tome. They picked me up out of my chair and escorted me out of the yard and into the house.

“Why?” I asked, completely confused by their actions.

“Because,” Marc started deviously.

“You’re our present.” Sid finished, a mischievous smile crossing his face. I sighed and rolled my eyes at them. What other reason would they have for making me look this way? They pushed me to my room and shoved me in gently, closing the door behind me.

“I’ll send Jordan to get you in a little bit after they get here.” Marc said, voice muffled and distorted by the door. I smiled and sat down on the bed. Eric would flip shit when he saw me.

I sighed and relaxed a little bit, looking over my nails in false boredom. Really I was jumping out of my skin in excitement. It had been so long since I’d thrown a birthday party, let alone a surprise party and one for Eric none the less. I felt myself tense up again as I heard the familiar sounds of TK’s car pulling into the driveway. They were here. My phone went off and I nearly died. It was Geno.

‘We here. Coming in now.’ was all the text read. Even when texting his English was bad. I couldn’t help but laugh as I forwarded the message to Sidney. He quickly replied.

‘Jordan’s coming in through the bathroom. He’s gonna go through the connector. He’ll come get you when things settle a little.’

‘Okay’ was my simple answer as I sat quietly, listening for the sounds of everyone outside yelling ‘SURPRISE!’ to Eric. It soon came and I heard Eric’s hearty laughter. It made me want to be there to see his face. It should be priceless. Surely someone would’ve taken a picture, though. I’d get to see it eventually.

I calmed myself down as I heard Jordan coming in through the connector. “He’s looking for you.” his voice was jumpy and excited.

“I figured he would be.” I answered, standing up. Jordan took my arm and walked me out of the room, taking the spot in front of me so I was partially hidden. I heard the music from outside playing loudly over some speakers that had been set up and the sounds of dancing caught my attention. Everyone was having a blast. I smiled as Jordan stopped before the end of the hall to turn a give me a once over.

“I think he’ll like this present.” he said finally, smiling at me. I wrinkled my nose at him childishly and stuck out my tongue.

“Thanks, Jordy. Just take me to him.” I said, voice sort of demanding.

“Oooo. A girl who knows what she wants. I like it.” Jordan’s voice was floating as he winked at me and took my arm again. He walked me to the glass door and made a gesture to Sidney, who pushed Eric down into the nearest chair and covered his eyes. Eric struggled a little bit but calmed down as Sidney said ‘Presents’. I smiled. It was indescribable how amazing this was going to be.

Jordan slid open then glass door and helped me outside down the small stairs and into the yard. Everyone seemed to stop for a minute to watch though I knew most of them knew what was going to happen already. Jordan let go of me as we made it to Eric and I made a decision on what I was going to do. Eric was so oblivious as I stood in front of him, though that might’ve been due to the fact that he couldn’t see.

“This better not be like last year when you gave me Jordan in lingerie, Sid.” Eric mumbled under his breath. Sidney just laughed and I had to stifle a giggle as I remembered last year‘s present. The memory of that would never leave my mind. Not from the funny side of it but just for it’s sheer scariness.

“Oh it’s better than that.” Sid’s voice was jumpy and he seemed quite please with himself. I smiled at him and raised an eyebrow when he mouthed something to me. I made a motion to show I didn’t understand and he did it again. ‘Kiss him.’ he mouthed slowly. I took a breath and bent down to eyelevel with Eric, putting my lips to his lightly. He took to me immediately, smiling into my lips. I broke it off and smiled as Eric laughed to himself. He knew who it was now. He’d smelled the perfume on me.

“If that was Jordan he’s talented.” Eric joked. Everyone around laughed as Sidney took his hands away from Eric’s eyes. He blinked for a minute to the sudden change to light and then his eyes found me. They seemed to search every piece of me over, looking for something that they hadn’t seen. Finally a crooked smile crossed his face and he looked up to Sidney.

“Happy birthday!” Marc, Sid and Jordan said in unison. Eric rolled his eyes and stood up, arms finding my waist as if by magnetism. He looked down at me and smiled wider.

“Happy twenty ninth.” I said under my breath before he attacked my lips again. He stopped and pulled away to the sound of wolf calls and many a sarcastic word.

“You’re amazing, baby girl.” Eric said, rocking me back and forth gently. A smile turned up in the corners of my mouth.

“Don’t look at me. They planned everything. I just showed up and got dressed.” I replied, looking up and finding his soft eyes. He smiled at me and I felt myself go temporarily weak in the knees.

“Well you came. That’s enough for me.” he assured as the party calmed from their tormenting and faded into fun again. Eric let go of my waist and pulled me off towards the dance floor. It was just getting dark and the lamps and Japanese lanterns that had been set up were really beginning to show. The yard was beautiful.

We stepped onto the dance floor and he turned to me, raising an eyebrow in a wily manner. “May I have this dance, Mon Sherrie?”

“Hmmm…. I dunno…” I said, glancing around in a preppy way. Finally as he began pouting, I smiled at him. “Yes.”

“I’m a lucky man.” he whispered to me as I wrapped my arms easily around his neck. His arms found my waist again and we spun to the gently beat of the music. Eventually as the song faded to a very slow song, everyone with a date headed to the floor. I laid my head down on Eric’s chest gently and he pulled me closer as we continued our dizzy dance around the floor.

“Do you like your party?” I asked softly, glancing up to see Eric with his eyes closed, dancing blind.

“I could care less about the party.” he answered easily. “If I had some popcorn, an old movie and you it would be the perfect birthday.”

I laid my head down on him again, “Toothache.” I commented quietly. He chuckled and I listened to his voice echo through his chest.

“Sorry. I’m a hopeless romantic.” he told me, fingers tracing lines on my hips. I smiled into his chest and we kept dancing. He wasn’t always the same enforcing, violent asshole that everyone else saw. He really was a very gentle guy with a huge heart.

We turned a few more circles and I watched everyone else on the floor. Marc was here with his girlfriend, Vero and I caught a glimpse of Billy Guerin and his wife dancing near Chris Kunitz and his wife. Gonch was here with his wife as was Feds and everyone else seemed to have someone. I saw Sidney sitting on the sidelines with Kris and Jordan but I knew they just didn’t want to be with anyone. Sidney was always looking for something more in women instead of just dating puckbunnys. Kris and Jordan, on the other hand, had just ended relationships with two complete whores and were looking for some more serious relationships.

We turned again and I caught the eye of someone I hadn’t seen in a while. Maxime. He was sitting at a table far away from the floor but his eyes caught mine for a minute before he looked away. It made me feel sort of twisted up inside. I didn’t want to be fighting with someone on Eric’s birthday, even if it was just for show. Hell, I didn’t want to be fighting with him at all. Ever. Sighing into Eric’s chest, we continued our dance and when the song ended and faded to something more upbeat we left the floor. The song continued and I left Eric’s company to go and get the cake.

“Where’re you going?” Sidney asked, raising an eyebrow as I floated past his table.

“My present.” I answered. Sid smiled and gathered everyone around in the general area of Eric, who now looked visibly uncomfortable. He hated this part. I returned a minute later to see Sidney covering Eric’s eyes again. Smiling to myself I sat the cake down in front of Eric and took a minute to light the candles. Twenty nine. Now I was starting to feel old. I’d be twenty five this year. It’d been a lifetime.

I nodded up at Sidney and he moved his hands. Eric’s eyes brightened up as he looked over the cake happily. Chris was finally the one to say something in the pause and I could tell by the sarcastic look on his face that it was going to be something with a smart ass tone.

“Just blow out the damn candles. I’m not singing a cheerful song to you, Lucifer.” he said, smiling wryly. Everyone around us laughed as Eric took a huge breath and blew out the candles. I took them off and immediately it was a frenzy to get the cake. Everyone here, well almost everyone, knew what this was and they all remembered it from their childhoods in Canada. I saw a few people who’d grown up here in the states standing back. Big mistake. If given the chance, us Canadians would eat the whole cake by our lonesome.

We finished handing it out and I took a tired seat next to Eric. He stopped himself from shoving a piece of his cake into his mouth just long enough to give me a kiss on the cheek. I knew it was his thank you and I didn’t ask anything more of him as he shoveled the cake into his mouth. I took a few bites as I looked around at everyone else eating at various tables as they chatted with one and other. And it was then that I found myself searching the crowd for a familiar face. And I found it in between Sidney, Jordan and Geno. Max sat, twisting his fork in the icing of the cake as he talked in hushed tones with Sid. I looked away as soon as Max’s eyes found mine but I had the urge to look back. I denied the feeling in my stomach as Eric’s hand found mine.

I laughed and turned to face him, quickly dipping my finger in the cake’s icing and tapping it on his nose. He went cross eyed for a minute as he attempted to lick it off. We giggled together for a minute before he sat back and looked around. Everyone was having a wonderful time. The yard was now lit up with beautiful blues and greens and a few people had begun to dance again. Eric’s voice echoed in my head for a minute as he spoke.

“This is a great party.” he commented thoughtfully, eyes tracing around the yard, “One of the best I’ve ever had.”

“I’m glad you like it.” I answered after a moment of hesitation in thought.

We sat there together for around a half hour as the darkness continued to fall like a blanket. One by one people began to leave. A few had to go pick up their children from baby sitters and some had to get home for sleep for practice tomorrow morning. And eventually it was only Eric, Sidney, Jordan, Geno, Max and I. Sidney and Jordan helped us to clean up what little mess had been made before bidding us both goodbye and leaving. Geno kissed my cheek and mumbled some Russian pleasantries in my ear before wishing Eric a happy birthday and heading off. Max was last to go. Eric headed inside to take the cake, or what little was left of it, and I was left with Max. Alone.

I turned around to see Max eyeing me, just as he had that first night in the club, before his brow furrowed in some sort of confusion. Finally, I broke the tension.

“Nice to see you, Maxime.” I said, turning away from him as I folded up a table cloth.

“And you as well Miss Bi………………… Bernie.” he said, quickly correcting himself. I smiled as I turned to look at him again.

“How’s your hand?” I asked, continuing on with the clean up of the yard.

“It’s fine…………… You look great.” he complimented. I found myself short for words and I just made eye contact. He knew what I meant and he nodded, relaxing a little bit. I heard footsteps behind me and I watched him tense again. I cursed in my head. A few more minutes and I could’ve convinced him that we didn’t need to fight. A few more minutes and we could’ve stopped this foolishness. It was the only time in my life I ever remember cursing Eric for coming back too soon.

Max’s face crease with anger. “You’re a bitch.” And it was with those words I found a sharp pain twisting in my chest. Anger welled up inside me and I had the urge to reach out and smack him. But I found his apologetic eyes and it calmed me.

“If you’re just going to fight with her, get out of here, Max.” Eric said firmly, lacing his fingers with mine. I watched Max’s eyes turn hard again and he looked away.

“Happy birthday, Eric. Good fucking bye.” Max said, storming away through the yard. I was left with a very tense Eric and a confusion like none I’d ever known before. I shook it off as Eric pulled on my hand and led me out of the yard and into the house. I helped him put things in their place and as we headed back to the yard I found my confusion and anger gone. Replaced now by calm I found that I could think clearly again.

A few minutes later as I took a seat on top of one of the few remaining tables, I laid back and looked up past the lights to the sky. It was a clear, cloudless night and almost all the stars could be seen. I got lost in them until Eric sat down beside me, laying down on my right. His hand found mine and I felt my heart jump for a minute in the quiet of outside.

“I’m ready for sleep.” Eric said, yawning. I glanced over at him and met his gaze, finding that he’d been staring at me the whole time. His eyes were half open and studied me as though he’d never seen my face before. I found myself at a sudden loss for words and Eric seemed to know it. His eyes never opened any more, nor did he speak even one more word, he simply eased his way over to me and laid an innocent kiss on my lips. And as soon as he pulled away something in the air snapped. Something venomous. Dangerous. Intense.

His eyes opened as he kissed me again and again, something strange and needy in each one. It was passionate, careless, indescribable. He leaned up on his left arm and hovered over me, laying kiss after violent kiss on my lips with no regard for anything else. Finally he backed away but it didn’t stop there. He pulled me up with both hands and into him, waging another attack on my lips. Taking step after careful slow step we made it to the house and inside. I shut the door without looking, never breaking the contact we had.

Eric stopped for a few minutes and found his favorite place on my neck, sucking on it lightly. I backed up and into a wall but he just kept going. My hands found their way to his hair and I ran my fingers through it, small pleased mumbles escaping his lips. He bit down and I let out a gasp of pleasure. He continued, running his tongue over it before he kissed it again. And then there was a pause.

“Sleepy?” I asked, trying hard to regain what little composure I could. He chuckled a rough laugh between shallow breaths before answering.

“Not a chance.” his voice was husky and rough and I found a chill floating up my spine as he backed away from me again, eyes burning with a strange new found fire. He kissed me once again and I found myself in a position I was familiar with. I wrapped my legs around his mid section and he put arms around me, insuring that I wouldn’t fall. In the silence of the kitchen I could hear the beating of his heart, almost as loud as mine, as it echoed in his chest. He pulled me off the wall and carried me slowly down the hall, stopping only once to glance over and see where the doorway to his room was.

I tried to speak but found that words wouldn’t come. Besides that, Eric’s lips on mine made it hard to breath, let alone speak. He stopped though, to catch his breath as he sat me down lightly on the bed. Hovering over me in a way that seemed greedy and powerful I watched his eyes staring into my soul.

“I love you.” he said before kissing me softly, “I love you.” another kiss, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” I managed before his hands found my hips. His fingertips ran up my shirt and over my stomach a few times, unsure. I sat up on my elbows and kissed him once. Understanding, he slid off my shirt, leaving my black bra the only thing hiding my slightly tanned skin from him.

Suddenly the heaviness returned and he kissed my sternum, trailing kisses down my stomach. I sighed and regained breath that I’d lost as he slid off his t shirt and dropped it to the floor. The heat from his body radiated and warmed me as I ran my hands over his chest, tracing the many scars that covered his battle torn skin. I paused for a second and leaned up to kiss his chest, gaining a pleased sigh from him. I smiled to myself in a personal triumph as he slid me up on the bed, following me and kissing my neck and shoulder, eventually making it to my lips.

His hands found the top of my skirt and pleaded for access, tracing the line across my stomach quietly as he kissed me again, unsure. I felt a twinge of nervousness run up my spine. This was farther than we’d ever gone before but I knew it wasn’t as far as we were going. He stopped for a minute, leaning his forehead on mine as his eyes searched my face for an answer. He found one and my skirt slid to the floor. A moment later and his pants fell along with it, leaving him in his shorts. My bra followed it and Eric trailed butterfly kisses over every inch of me he could reach, smiling into my skin when he found a place that made me tense or sigh.

He stopped for a minute when I regained composure enough to think. I pushed him up from me and he stopped, mildly confused and still a bit crazed. I could tell from his eyes, though, that he was willing to stop and listen to me.

“Eric…. I don’t know……… I’ve never……..” I trailed off, breathless from the waves of emotions I found flowing to every part of my body. He took a breath and his eyes softened from their tense passionate stare as he looked down at me thoughtfully. Suddenly I saw the light turn on in his mind and the confusion came.

“But I thought you and Bryan……..” he stopped as I shook my head no, now regaining my breath.

“We never…… We wanted to……… but we didn’t………..” I said softly, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed and ashamed. Eric’s eyes looked me over and he sighed. I looked away from him but he tilted my head back so that he could look at me. His eyes stared into mine and I found a sudden calm.

“We don’t have to…… We can wait……… Maybe we’re rushing…… I don’t want to force anything on you. I’ll never force anything on you.” his voice was comforting and I close my eyes as he came close to me, kissing my shoulder. “I love you.” he reminded. As he backed away I stopped him, placing my cold hands on his chest.

“We’re not rushing…………” I whispered, voice barely audible. He leaned his head down on mine again and kissed me.

“You’re certain……….. You want this……… There’s no pressure………. We can wait…… I will wait……. I don’t want to force this………..” I cut him off, kissing his lips softly.

“You’re can’t force a choice that’s already been made.” I told him. He smiled to himself and kissed me one time, fingertips tracing a pattern on my hips.

“Just tell me if you’re unsure…… if you want me to stop….. I will… I swear..” his voice was soft, caring and assuring. I nodded and he started again, slowly and more attentive to things this time.

He kissed my stomach and met with the top of my underwear, glancing up under his hair at me. His hand took mine as he pulled them down and let them fall to the floor. Lips finding mine, he kissed me for a few minutes, relaxing the tension that my muscles had gained. Shifting to his right, his excitement brush my leg and I suddenly felt the lust I’d only ever had once before for him. With my free hand, I ran it up his leg, brushing it across his groin and causing him to lose his breath. I kept going, unhindered, before I placed it on his chest.

“You’re such a tease.” he whispered in my ear. His voice was husky and rough and oh so sexy. I kissed his neck and heard him let out a gasp as I found what appeared to be his sweet spot. I ran my tongue over it, as he had done to me so many times and his hand tensed on mine. Biting down softly, I kissed him once before stopping.

“I’ll tease you if I want.” I answered, kissing his chest. He smiled an evil smile before I slid my hands over the waistband of his boxers. A sharp intake of breath let me know that I’d obviously done something he’d liked. He slid them down and they hit the floor, leaving us both completely vulnerable to one another for the first time since we had been very very young.

I let my hands roam freely and explore him as his did the same, fingertips gently searching every part of me. We snuck kisses every few minutes and took everything slow until finally the tension in the air was so thick that we were both breathless. He kissed me suddenly, violently. It was passionate and innocent at the same time and he continued it on for a few minutes. When he broke it off, his eyes searched mine.

“I need you.” he said heavily, lust overbearing in his voice. I kissed him again for a minute.

“I know.” I answered. His eyes looked me over once, unsure, before he steadied himself and took my hand.

“Ready…..?” he trailed off, suddenly more at himself. I took a deep breath and nodded my head, preparing for the pain I knew would be coming.

He slid inside of me quickly and no more than three seconds later the pain came. It was undeniable and it shot up my spine, flowing to every part of me. A few warm tears escaped my eyes and I breathed deep, trying to adjust to him. Eric’s lips found mine and he kissed me for a second before wiping away the tears. “You alright?” he asked, voice concerned.

“It just……… hurts………… so much………” I said, trying as best as I could to steady my voice.

“It’ll get better…….. I promise.” and from the sound of his voice I could tell he was sincere. I opened my eyes and found his bright eyes tracing my face. He kissed my lips once before searching my eyes and he waited for the sign to go on or stop.

Finally, I nodded a little and he pulled away, going back in again slowly. I found that pain still came but it was less now and he continued, holding my hand and kissing me every time he went in again. The pain lessened with every move and something far better faded into my consciousness. It was a bliss I’d never felt before, one that I sincerely enjoyed.

A few minutes later all the pain had gone and it had been replaced with pleasure I couldn’t have described if I was offered a million dollars. Eric had found a steady rhythm now and he had more time to tease me. His lips fell to my neck and shoulder, kissing them softly at every chance he got. I let my hands find there way around his neck, pulling him closer to me. His breath quickened after a while and I found that my own breaths were now shallow.

“Eric….” I managed between breaths. He silenced me with a passionate kiss and as he backed away he hit a spot inside me that had gone unnoticed. I took in a sharp breath and he paused for a minute. I shook my head no and urged him on. “No no…. don’t stop..” I pleaded with him. He smiled to himself and kept going, hitting the spot again and again.

“Oh God, bijou…” he trailed off, kissing me again, “Ohhhhh….”

“Oh my God…..” I said, suddenly understanding what he was feeling exactly. I closed my eyes for a minute and when I opened them I saw Eric’s eyes closed in pleasure, hair sticking to his forehead and chest heaving.

“I think I’m….” he started.

“Ohhh God….” I finished as an eruption of pleasure that I’d never felt before washed over me like a wave. The following waves fell over me for a few minutes afterwards and Eric slowed before he too began to feel the waves. Finally, after a moment of silence and heavy breathing, Eric collapsed down beside me.

We lay there for a minute, silent, as our breathing evened out and the heat left our bodies. Finally, after a few moments of quiet, Eric’s hand found mine and our fingers laced easily.

“I love you.” he whispered, kissing my hand. I smiled to myself and turned to face him, cuddling up in his arms.

“Happy Birthday.” I answered softly as his arms pulled me closer to him. He kissed my head and we settled in. The covers fell over us and Eric turned out the light, holding me close as I faded into sleep. And I fell asleep in his arms, listening to the quiet pounding of his heart in his chest.

><><>March 8^th><><>

I woke up the next day to an empty bed beside me and I glanced around the room, finding nothing. Getting up lazily, I put on my house pants; which were adorned with pictures of Stewie Griffin from Family Guy, and an old Pens shirt before walking through the house. I knew better than to walk around naked, even in my own house. There was almost always someone else there.

Heading for the kitchen I heard relative silence but I swore I heard whispers coming from the living room. As I drew closer I was finally able to place the voice as Sidney’s and I sighed as I peaked around the corner sleepily. Eric sat, calm and collected, with Sid on the couch watching Sports Center and discussing the Bruins. Eric’s eyes caught mine and they lit up.

“Morning, Love.” Eric’s voice was smooth and upbeat. I smiled.

“Morning, Godsy. Squidney.” I answered before leaving the room and going to the kitchen. I found the coffee already made and a cup sat out for me. I smiled to myself and poured a cup of coffee, immediately taking a drink and waking up. I walked back to the living room and found a place now open between Eric and Sid for me. I fell down in between them and felt Eric’s arm slide around me, pulling me over into his chest. Sidney glanced over at us both and laughed to himself.

“Well, you two are feeling pleasant today.” he said, eyes twinkling. It was then that I knew that he knew what had gone on last night. Then again, it didn’t really matter. It was just Sidney. He wasn’t going to go alert the media. We could trust him.

“I got some….. Good sleep last night.” Eric said, covering his tracks unneededly. I smiled and cuddled into his chest.

“Sure you did.” Sid started sarcastically, rolling his eyes, “Wake the dead, why don‘t you.” He finished, laughing a little at our reddening faces. “Well hey, I’m gone. I have to meet Geno for a lunch with Marc and Whits. I’ll see you guys later.” Sidney said, getting up and kissing my cheek before walking out. It left Eric and I in silence. Comfortable silence but silence none the less. And finally, after a few minutes of quiet, Eric spoke. His voice rumbled in his chest and I lost myself in its echo for a moment.

“So how did you sleep last night?” he asked, kissing my head. I smiled as his arm tensed around me.

“I slept great with you as a blanket. And you?” I said, looking up at him. A devious smile crossed his face and he kissed me, passion flowing freely from him. He stopped for a minute and smiled again.

“That’s how I slept.” he said simply. I smiled at him and then wrinkled my nose sarcastically.

“That good, huh?” I joked, kissing him one more time. “Well that’s good because you’ve got a game today, sweetie.”

“Ughh. Do I have to go? I just want to stay hereeeee with you.” he pleaded, staring down into my eyes. I nodded and he leaned his forehead on mine, frowning a little.

“Yes you have to go.” I told him, earning another puppy face. “And you have to get ready. So go!” I said, jumping up and running down the hall. He followed me and we romped around together for a while until he caught me and tackled me onto the bed. We laughed for a while before we realized how late it was getting. Finally, I got him to give up and he started to get ready for the game.

And so many a great day followed that. With every win came a wonderful tiring night’s sleep and with every loss came a night of pick me ups that included more than one crazy romp around a bedroom. Eric began to grow his playoff beard and I wrinkled my nose every time I had to kiss him but he just laughed, kissing me again and again with a huge smile across his face.

Then, there it was, game one of the Stanley cup series. We were playing the Philadelphia Flyers, a team that the Pens had found a renewed hatred for since my accident with Scott Hartnell. He wasn’t easily forgiven and as the game approached on the fifteenth we were all eager to get to the arena and take on our rivals.

The game was a win 4-1 and we were all smiles as we left the arena that night for our after game party. Eric had again engaged in a fight with Scott and had been penalized for it. No one on the bench cared too much except maybe Dan but he understood.

I sat in the back seat of Sidney’s Range Rover with my fingers laced with Eric’s, head in his chest. He leaned over and kissed me, smiling as I wrinkled my nose at his beard. I could see Jordan rolling his eyes in the front seat.

“God you two are sickening!” Jordan exclaimed, turning around to look at us. We smiled and Eric slid his arm around me.

“Don’t watch.” Eric replied easily causing Jordan to gag a little. I laughed to myself as we pulled into the parking lot next to Marc and Geno. Everyone piled out of the car and headed into the club, laughing and partying as hard as they ever had before. We made it inside and everyone ordered drinks from the barkeep, who by now already knew what we all wanted.

“Come on! Let’s dance!!” Marc and Sidney exclaimed, running upstairs to the dance floor. I laughed as I watched everyone else file up after them, knowing silently that they would all find women, or whores rather, in a few minutes and be off to a one night stand. I sat quietly with Eric in our normal seat, sipping drinks and shooting dangerous sideways glances at him every once and a while. We’d just begun making out when I heard my phone ringing in my purse and I pulled away reluctantly to answer it.

“Hello?” I said breathlessly. I hadn’t bothered to look at the caller ID so I had no idea who was calling. Personally I wished they wouldn’t have. Eric was shooting me glances that showed his want and I was feeling the same way.

“Bernie…… it’s Hannahh.” her voice was shrill and hard from crying. Immediately my eyes opened and I didn’t want Eric any more. I wanted to know what was wrong with her.

“Hannahh, honey, what’s wrong?” I asked worriedly, listening to the sounds of her sniffling on the other end. I watched Eric almost choke on his beer and he turned to listen to the conversation immediately, wondering the same thing I was.

“It’s Bryan and Kathryn….” she trailed off again, crying harder now.

“What, what about them? What happened, Hannahh? Tell me, now, dear.” I begged, now feeling the same emotion she was. Extreme sorrow. The guys were coming back from upstairs and joined us at the table, laughing and joking, but they stopped as Eric sent them the worst glare of their lives.

“They’re…………….. they’re both………… they’ve been killed, Bernie! They’ve been killed!!!” she practically screamed into the phone through hysterics. Instantly I felt the tears come and they flowed down my face openly without hindrance.

“H-how…… why, Hannahh?” I asked through the tears that Eric was now wiping away. I glanced around the table and saw that all the guys’ faces were contorted with concern now, watching every move I made.

“They were………. Driving to Pittsburgh to come visit…….. They wanted to see you and Eric before the wedding……….. F-f-finalize plans with you………………… but they were in a car pile up…………. Died on impact………….. They were so young, Bernie! They didn’t deserve this! Any of it! What did they do! Nothing! That’s what they did!” she screamed through her sorrow. I felt an immediate rage build inside me but it fell to sadness just as my tears fell down my face. Eric had his arms around me now and held me as I shook, attempting to come up with words enough to answer her.

“I know, Hannahh….. I know….. I’ll….. I’ll call you back…” I said through mounting tears. She made a sound on the other end that signified okay and I hung up, hand shaking like a leaf in a hurricane. I blinked a few times, unable to process what I’d just learned. Two of the best friends I’d ever had, some of the people I’d known the longest in the world, had died. Instantly. Gone. Never coming back. Vanished. Forever.

“What’s wrong, baby girl? What’s the matter?” Eric asked, voice soft and caring as he kissed my head. He showed no regard for the fact that the other guys were there as he usually did. Mostly he tried to keep his softer side for me, leaving the guys to see the Eric that was on ice. But now was different. I was in shambles. And I knew that the minute I answered him, he would be too. I took his hand and laced our fingers, hand shaking worst than my heart.

“Bryan and Kathryn………..” I whispered to him, trying to see through tears. He kissed away a tear and leaned his forehead on mine, eyes showing his deep running concerned.

“What about them? What’s happened?” he asked, voice wavering from its original strength as fear seeped into his mind.

“They’re…………. they’re gone…” I said, voice barely above a whisper now, “They’re gone..”

“No….. no no no…. they can’t be…….. Gone?” he asked, finally coming to the realization I had come to moments ago. I watched a look of shock pass around the table from Sidney all the way around to Marc. They’d all known about Bryan and Kathryn, most of them had met them at some point. And while the boys had never been close with them they’d known how close Eric and I were with them. How much we all cared for one another.

“Eric…….. They’re gone.” I said as firmly as I could. Immediately I watched his ego melt away. Everything he’d ever built up around himself, every wall he’d ever raised, every tough motif he’d ever put up; all of it disappeared in an instant. He fell back to how he had been as a kid. Innocent. Caring. Loving. Emotional. And for the first time in years he cried. He cried like I hadn’t seen him cry since he lost his grandmother to a heart attack when he was seven.

“But why…….. How could this happen?” he asked, voice high and squeaky as he fell into my arms. I ran my fingers through his hair and tried my best to sooth him, catching the guys’ concerned looked every once and a while out of my peripheral vision.

“They were in a car accident……..” I answered, falling into equal sorrow. I tried my hardest to stay strong so that I could calm him down; trying my best to be the rock he’d been for me all these years.

“They were young……. How could this……… Oh my god….” he trailed off, voice full of pain that made my heart tear in two. This was ripping us both up to the soul.

“I don’t know, Godsy, I don’t know…” I hushed him through tears, laying my head down on his shoulder and crying for a moment in weakness. He pulled me closer to him and breathed deep, attempting to calm down long enough to be rational. He, as I had, failed miserably.

“I’m so sorry……” Sidney said, confused as to what to say to us now. I didn’t answer him but not because I didn’t have words but because I couldn’t talk. I felt his hand on my back and I didn’t move, allowing him to attempt to sooth me. Eric’s hands found mine and he was shaking near as hard as I was, tears seeming unstoppable as they carved a steady path down his face.

“I…. I don’t want to be here……….” he whispered to me, pleading almost. I kissed his cheek lightly and nodded a little earning a thankful gaze from him.

“S-sidney…. Will you take us home….. Please….?” I asked, looking over to Sidney who sat beside me. His eyes found mine and I immediately saw the pain he was feeling from just watching me cry. I wiped away tears and avoided looking at him, not wanting to see the look of pity in his eyes. I’d never asked for any one else’s sadness. I never liked seeing other people down, let alone because they were watching me.

“Of course…” Sidney answered, moving out of the way so that I could stand up. Eric followed quickly after, not meeting anyone’s concerned gaze as he walked out with Sidney and I. Nervous chattering ensued behind us but I paid it no mind as we got into Sid’s Range Rover and he pulled out of the parking lot.

Sidney said nothing on the way home but Eric and I didn’t mind. Eric was still curled up in my arms, reduced to nothing more than a pain filled child. I did my best to sooth him, running my fingers through his hair over and over. I couldn’t, however, stifle my own tears and I could barely see through them as the car stopped in front of Eric’s house. Eric was the first one out and up the drive, obviously not wanting to stay in Sidney’s company in the state he was in. I sat there, however, and breathed deep, trying to process this whole mess. I had been happy only an hour ago. We’d won our first game against Philly in the Stanley cup run and everything was looking up. Everything until this.

Sid said, silent in the front seat, listening to my sad sobbing for a minute before he got out of the car and came around to my door, opening it and pulling me into his arms. And I cried on him for a moment before stopping as he hushed me.

“There’s nothing you could’ve done to stop this. Horrible things happen to people. It’s a part of life.” he started, running his hand up and down my back soothingly, “That doesn’t change what you’ve lost or that you can’t get it back but you have to know that it’s not your fault.”

“But they were young, Sidney. They were my age. They had their lives ahead of them. They wanted kids and to be together forever and grow up and be around.” I told him, burying my face in his chest. He held me closer to him and hushed me again, somehow making things feel more reasonably relevant.

“God has a way of making things happen. We don’t always know why or when but everything happens for a reason…” he started before I cut him off. I shoved him away and he stumbled back in surprise at my strength. I shot him a shocked look and the tears that had slowed returned full strength.

“What’s the reason for this!?! Huh!? Tell me Sidney! What’s the all mighty reasoning for killing two kids who were just about to get married! They’d never done anything!” I shouted at him, voice losing strength with every word. Finally I collapsed back into his waiting arms and he hushed me again, soothing my tears.

“I don’t know the reason. But if you don’t believe that there was one at least be grateful for one thing.” he whispered to me, voice even as he continued to cradle me.

“What should I be grateful for in a situation like this..?” I begged for an answer, almost falling down. I would’ve probably hit the ground if not for Sidney holding me up.

“They died together. It’s true that they’ve left behind everything that they love and everyone they knew but they didn’t go alone. They went together. Would it have been better had only one of them died? They loved each other. Love transcends time. Remember that.” he whispered. I suddenly found my legs a little stronger as I saw his flawless reasoning. Wiping tears away from my face, he smiled at me faintly and I hugged him for dear life. He held me to him until I was ready to let go and he stared down into my surely reddened eyes, checking to make sure that I was really going to be alright.

I didn’t say anything to him but I leaned up and gave him a kiss on the cheek before hugging him one more time. He knew what I’d meant and he let go of me, getting back in his car and watching me walk up the driveway and into the house. I closed the door and watched him drive away before turning and looking around. I saw Eric’s shoes thrown messily towards the wall and I saw his jacket on the floor. Coming around the corner I saw him sitting on the couch, head in his hands, crying his eyes out. I held myself back from falling into hysterics and I took a few deep breaths, preparing to try and make him understand the things that Sidney had told me.

I walked to him and sat down next to his shaking form, immediately having him wrap his arms around me and cry into my shoulder. I shushed him and he looked up into my eyes, searching them incriminatingly.

“How can you be so calm! We just lost our best friends! They’re dead!!” he screamed at me, causing a sharp pain to fly into my heart. I wiped away a tear that fell down his face and his head fell into my hand, tears soaking my skin. He wasn’t really all that mad at me, but his sadness had turned to anger and frustration, as it so often did.

“Sidney told me something that made it hurt a little less.” I told him, allowing him to fall into my arms. I held him and ran my fingers through his hair as I had when we’d been children at his grandfather’s funeral. I’d only been seven then but I’d always known what to do when situations such as this arose, though often times it was hard to take.

“What could he have possible done to make this better?! They’re dead! They’re never coming back! Gone! Never taking another breath!” he screamed into my chest, sadness clearly overwhelming him, holding me for dear life. I felt a few more tears fall down my cheek and he stopped, kissing them away. “I’m sorry, baby. I just…. It….. Hurts…….. So much….. They didn’t do anything….. Why did they deserve this? They were innocent. Loving…. They were so many things…”

“They didn’t deserve this….. And it does hurt……… I miss them now…… I loved them too…….. And they didn’t deserve it, they deserved the best. And they were so many things. Great things. Two very wonderful people….” I trailed off as Eric wiped my tears with his hoodie’s sleeve. “But they died together. They would’ve wanted that. To be together. They wouldn’t have wanted to die alone.”

“Yeah…… yeah they would’ve……. But what’re we gonna do? I never got a chance to tell Bryan how much I admired him……… and Kathryn….. I had a fight with her and we never made up……… what am I going to do now? They’re dead! I can’t apologize. I can’t say the things I wanted to say to them!” he said, frustration returning. I felt pain shoot through my heart and into my soul as I thought of that. All the things I’d never told Kathryn, all the things I’d fought with Bryan over. Everything we’d never done together, all the promises we’d made for our futures. Nothing was relevant anymore. None of it was possible. Null in void.

“But they knew that you loved them. They knew that we loved them.” I said firmly as it was the only thing I was really sure about. If nothing else they had both died knowing that we loved them as our own siblings. Eric’s eyes softened and his tears slowed.

“They did know that I loved them…… But I still don’t get to apologize… for all those stupid little things I did. All the things I never said…. I don’t have time…..” he whispered, searching my eyes for further answers. I laid my head in his chest and sighed heavily through a tough breath.

“It’s never too late.” I assured him, kissing his cheek lightly. He surprised me and his lips crashed down on mine with a passion that I’d not felt from him since our very first kiss in the club. I let him go and pressed my lips lightly to his, allowing him to do what he wanted until he pulled away breathlessly.

“I’m not going to waste any more time. Every minute is precious….. Every second is a gift…” he whispered, kissing me again. I felt a few more tears stream down my cheeks and I knew that a few were falling down his but being together made us feel a little better. Nothing was going to make the pain stop, though. Nothing. And as he pulled away this time I remembered Hannahh.

“Eric, stop. I have to call Hannahh.” I told him, kissing his lips one more time. His followed mine easily and shot needy feelings through me. I broke the kiss and took out my cell phone, dialing Hannahh’s number quickly.

“… H-hello…?” Hannahh’s voice was still shaking as it had been when I’d talked to her earlier. I couldn’t help it and I began to cry. Eric’s arms found my waist and he pulled me into him, comforting me as best he could.

“Hannahh, it’s Bernie……” I trailed off, unsure of what exactly to say to her. She sniveled on the other end and then sighed.

“Bernie…. I’m glad you called me back…. I’m coming in on a plane right now……. I’ll be there in about a half hour…… Give me your address……….. I need to be with my friends….” she said through tears. I nodded and complied with her request, giving her my address but then remembering where I was. I gave her Eric’s address next and she agreed to meet us here. It was closer to the airport anyway. I hung up and cuddled into Eric’s arms. He held me close and we cried for a while, the sounds of our deep breaths filling the air.

And, as Hannahh had said, she came around a half hour later. We greeted her with hugs and kisses and welcomed her in. She fell down on the couch beside Eric and I and we all exchanged stories, trying to distract ourselves from the reason that had brought us all together. Finally, we could deny it no longer and the tears came again. We must’ve cried for hours until we all cried ourselves out and fell asleep on the couch, huddled together for dear life itself.

The next day came and went with little notice by the three of us. We sat together most of the time tried our hardest to calm each other down. Quietly the conversations faded to distractions and stories of what had been happening in our lives and what not. We laughed a little and cried some more before we finally realized the things that had to be done. We needed to call the families and inform them; the hardest thing we’d ever done. We had to be the ones to tell people that we’d known our whole lives entirely that their children were dead. Gone. Never coming back. Finito. Dead.

And we went through the motions numbly, now out of tears to cry. With each call a stab in the heart came and we all had to stop for a few minutes afterwards to compose ourselves for the next one. When all the family had been informed we sighed to ourselves and relaxed, still pained but resting a little easier now that that part of this was done.

We discussed it long into the night; the plans for the funeral and such. Hannahh and Kathryn had already had this discussion long ago when Hannahh had almost died of a blood clot. They’d already talked about what they’d both want if dead. Making sure that even after life they were still being treated in the way that they wished. Bryan had talked to me about it when we’d been dating and so I had that part of this covered. Eric was left out, feeling a little bad because he didn’t have much to add.

Another night’s sleep lead to more of the same conversations and we skipped the next Stanley cup match up of the Pens courtesy of Dan, who understandingly let us off the hook. We discussed more of the plans and called around to finalize them. We were also informed that the bodies had been sent back to Vernon and they were being prepared and fixed by their families. A sudden sense of fear and sadness crept back into our consciousness and we cried a little more that day. And that night we discussed the final details before heading to bed.

“So everything is ready for the funerals and all the family is there…. The only real thing we need to do is figure out who is staying where when we all go back home.” Hannahh said through a teary eyed sadness. Eric sighed and looked thoughtful for a minute as I answered her.

“You only have to worry about Eric. I’m not going..” I trailed off, earning myself a confused and condescending look from Hannahh.

“Why wouldn’t you go back for that!? They’re your best friends! They’re like family to you! Don’t you care at all!” she shouted at me through clenched teeth. Eric looked at me curiously, knowing that I wouldn’t make that decision on my own. Not without someone else’s help. I sighed and tried my best to ignore the knot welling up in my stomach from listening to Hannahh yell at me for the first time since my childhood.

“I want to go. I do. But Kathryn and I had a pact. Bryan got in on it too. We made a promise and I’m the last one left. I’m not breaking it. I’ll never break my promises to them. Ever.” I said firmly, fire in my eyes clearly enough to sedate Hannahh’s anger long enough to allow her time to think. She sighed and looked at me again, now with softer eyes.

“What was the pact?” she questioned, child like innocence in her voice.

“We promised each other that if one of us died the others wouldn’t attend the funeral. We all knew that it was best for us to remember each other as we were and not as how we had been filled with goo in a casket. We promised. I promised.” I told her. She sighed it off and nodded, looking to Eric.

“And you’re coming home?” she asked, wondering if he too hadn’t made a pact as I had. He nodded a little under his hair, still obviously numbed by this whole thing. “Alright then. You can stay with me if you want. I’ve got guest rooms.” she offered, looking at him.

“Sounds fine to me.” he answered quietly, lost in his own thoughts. I watched his eyes cloud over and I thought about asking him what he was thinking but I let it slide. I was far too tired to think about anything too much. And we sat in silence for a few minutes, all contemplating our own thoughts before I rose from my seat tiredly.

“I’m going to bed. I’ll see you both in the morning.” I said easily, earning a hug from Hannahh and a half hearted kiss from Eric.

“Goodnight.” They said in unison as I walked away into Eric’s room and fell into bed. I felt Eric climb into bed beside me a few minutes later and his arms wound their way around me lightly but I was far too close to sleep to be able to say anything to him.

><>Monday March 20^th<><><

I woke up to an empty bed and got up slowly, still feeling the heaviness of the my friends’ death’s looming over me. Getting dressed was monotonous and I listened to Hannahh’s voice mingle with Eric’s in the other room. I heard the front door open and close and I raised an eyebrow but didn’t bother to hurry too much. Finally as I finished up I walked out of the room an d down the hallway to find Eric sitting on a chair at the bar. He looked up at me and his eyes seemed to light up and then dim, thoughts plaguing his usually calm mind.

I didn’t bother asking him questions because I knew that as soon as he found words that he would tell me what was the matter. I simply sat down beside him and waited, gazing over into his hazy eyes until he finally seemed to recognize my presence. His hand found mine and he laced our fingers, gaining my attention.

“I need to talk to you about something…..” he trailed off, eyes still wandering in thoughts that were flowing through his mind. I nodded quietly and listened, ready for him to let out what he was thinking of. After a moment of silence I leaned my fore head on his and he seemed to come back from whatever it was that was wrong with him.

“Say anything you need to say. I’m here and I’m listening.” I assured him. He kissed me once before sitting back and sighing, trying to adjust his thoughts again. I waited patiently and as he began to speak I heard the worried confusion in his voice.

“Hannahh and I were talking last night and……” he stopped short, trying to reword himself.

“And what, Eric? Go on, just say whatever you need to say.” I told him, looking into his hazy eyes.

“Well last night we were talking and I realized that I still have feelings for her…. We just got lost in conversation and we laughed and talked about everything and I just felt that….. The connection, you know? And just seeing that look in her eyes; the one that was so pained. It really hurt me. And I knew that I still felt something there. She’s still the girl I dated and she’s still the girl I knew and I can’t stop feeling this way..” he trailed off, kissing my hand, “But I don’t want you to feel like I’m just being crazy here and leaving you for no reason. I still love you and I won’t ever not but I don’t want to go on with you if this feeling is going to be with me. I don’t want a half hearted relationship with you because you deserve better than that. I know you do. And if you ever need me I’ll be here for you always. But you have to know that you’re an amazing person. This time we’ve had together was amazing. I loved it. But I knew that after I left for Canada and I was alone with Hannahh….. I just didn’t want to do something I’d regret if I was still with you. I didn’t want to hurt you like that. Not that this is much better…. I’m an asshole for leaving you so close to this death. And I’m sorry for that. You’ve got to believe me that I never meant to hur…..” and at that point I cut him off.

Everything we’d ever said to each other, every minute we’d had together, it had been wonderful. Being with him was one of the best things I’d ever done with my life. I loved him whole heartedly and I knew that he loved me too but Hannahh and he had always had that strong relationship, the one that seemed to endure everything. And as hard as it was to listen to him struggle with this I understood completely. He and Hannahh were always special and even if he was leaving me for her, I knew that it was going to be alright. He was a great guy and she was a great girl and I knew that they wanted each other. It was easy to accept it. It was almost natural to hear that he still loved her. Normal.

“Eric Godard you talk too much.” I told him, watching his eyes searching mine. He was close to tears. “You and Hannahh are great people. And I’m not angry with you because you’re leaving me or because you have feelings for her. I always sort of knew. The time we’ve had together was wonderful, you’re right. And I am sorry that it had to end but I’m glad that you ended this before you did something you’d regret. At least this way I know how you’re feeling. It would’ve hurt me more if you would’ve gone away and done things you’d regret before you ended things here. You’re a wonderful man. I love you to death and I won’t ever stop but maybe this is the best for us right now. Pursue things with Hannahh. I’ll always be here to fall back on if you need me. My house is open for you. And you’re not an asshole for doing this. You’re a thoughtful, wonderful man who knows enough to make things right before they go wrong.”

His eyes looked into my soul to see if I was truthful and he kissed me, softly and surely, with the childlike innocence of our first kiss in fourth grade.

“I love you. You’ve no idea how much better hearing this from you makes me feel. I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about how you’d take it. I thought you’d be angry and hurt and…” he started, inches away from my face. “And you’re an amazing person. I know for sure you’ll find someone else. So keep me updated on that. I’m not sure when I’ll be back from Vernon. But make sure they treat you right. Or else I’ll get em.” he joked, finally letting a smile cross his face.

“Deal.” I answered, smiling back. Admittedly it did hurt a little bit but I was ready for accept it. Eric wanted me to be happy and I knew he wouldn’t hurt me on purpose. It was the last thing he’d ever want to do. He stood up and walked into the living room, pulling me with him.

“And as much as I hate to leave so soon we booked a flight home for about an hour from now. So I have to go. I’ll call you when we get back and every night and every morning….. Pretty much whenever I can.” he said, looking back at me. I didn’t meet his gaze for a minute, thoughtful, but then I looked up and smiled at him.

“Okay. I’ll have the phone on.” I promised. He came closer to me and our bodies were fit together for what I knew would be the last time for God knew how long. His arms slid around my waist nostalgically and he leaned his forehead on mine. I raised an eyebrow. “What’s this then?” I joked lightly through the tension that was building in the air.

“I think I can make an exception to the rule to kiss my girlfriend goodbye… Unless you want to object.” He whispered, eyes tracing me over softly. I thought about it for a second before he said something else. “It’s the last chance I get to kiss you. And I just wanted to get rid of all the stress I‘ve been feeling and know that you‘re okay…. Wow that sounds horrible.”

“You don’t sound horrible to me.” I answered. He smiled at me and raised an eyebrow, waiting for the go ahead. I closed my eyes halfway and he knew that I was ready. His lips pressed to mine and he kissed me deeply. Our lips danced together for what felt like forever. I could feel fire flowing from him and it went on for a few minutes, gradually becoming less fiery and more gentle. And then the kiss became innocent and friendly, slowing to what we’d felt before we’d dated. He pulled away and kissed my lips a few more times lightly before hugging me close.

“Goodbye, bijou. I love you.” he whispered. I nodded into his chest and we stayed close for a while. He pulled away finally and we looked each other over for a minute, unsure of the new relationship we would have after this. And then we both seemed to realize that it wouldn’t change. We’d always be close. We would always care for each other. Only now we wouldn’t have those midnight chases around a bed or the hour long kisses we’d had before.

“Goodbye, Godsy. I love you too.” I answered as he picked up his bags and walked over to the door.

“I’ll see you when I see you.” he said, looking over his shoulder at me. I nodded and he opened the door, “Text me.”

“You got it.” I said gently as he walked out. I sighed as the door closed and felt in my stomach that as that door closed so did a chapter in my life. But a new one had begun. I didn’t know what it would bring or what would happen next but I hoped that it would get better.

I sat around in the house for a few hours, listening to nothing but quiet with the silence of my own thoughts. After a while I decided that I should probably go and do something. It was better for me than sitting around mulling everything over. I didn’t want to get myself even more down than I already was.

I grabbed my skates around four and headed to the rink to go skating. I knew that it would make me feel better. It always had. And as I arrived I saw that there seemed to be no one else there. Perfect. Walking into the silence of the Mellon’s lobby made me feel suddenly at peace with myself and I threw on my skates quickly, heading onto the ice. I heard someone’s skates tearing along the ice and glanced around to see Sidney taking laps, hitting pucks into an empty net.

As much as I’d wanted to be alone I knew Sidney would be a comfort to me so I jumped onto the ice, watching him go around until he got to me. He smiled and greeted me with a hug.

“How’re you feeling?” he asked, leaning up against the wall as I skated in a small circle to get used to my skates again. I sighed and thought for a minute. I hadn’t really been feeling much of anything since I’d found out about my friends.

“I’m…… feeling alright.” I answered finally, looking up into his eyes. He smiled back at me and a calming sense fell over me.

“That’s good. We’ve all been pretty worried about you and Eric. It’s horrible to lose people you love.” he said as we began to take slow laps around the ice. I felt my spirits slip and fall lower, sudden loss hitting me. I heard people in the locker room as we continued to skate and I took a few deep breaths.

“Yeah…. It’s hard.” I said quietly, feeling the sudden wariness plague my mind. He looked over at me wondrously and raised a concerned eyebrow. His hand brushed my back and he tried to comfort me.

“What’s wrong? You sound……. Out of it.” he said, looking me over. Sidney had really been my best friend since I’d been here, besides Eric of course. The whole team had become really close to me. I’d grown to be one of them. And they’d really accepted me. It was a great feeling to know I could talk to them.

“I’m just…… I don’t know. Eric and Hannahh left this morning to go back to Vernon and Eric and I…. We… broke up…” I told him, looking over at him. His eyes turned hard and seemed to be a little angry and frustrated.

“Why would he break up with you like that right after all this? That’s a little heartless.” he said angrily. I put my hand on his arm and he stopped, raising an eyebrow.

“I understand why he did it. It’s not heartless. It was the most intelligent thing he’s ever done. I accept that. It’s not hurting me. I just……. It’s hard not having him here with all this happening.” I said thoughtfully. He nodded and relaxed a little bit as we completed a lap around. I could hear more movement in the locker room now and I knew that a few more people, if not most of the team was here.

“Well you know you can always talk to me. And you’ve got everyone else here, too. We all care about you.” he said gently, smiling at me. I let a smile cross my face for the first time in a few days and I stopped to hug him. He pulled me into his arms tightly and I stayed there for a minute, enjoying his company. And a few seconds later as he let me go a bunch of the guys came onto the ice. I saw Jordan, Geno, Chris, TK, Brooks and Marc. And then I saw a face that, as much as I thought I would relish it, didn’t seem to damper my day. Max. He skated on easily after Marc and they all floated over the ice to come see Sidney and I.

I got a hug from everyone, well everyone excluding Max, who stayed away from me for the most part. Jordan took the liberty of dancing around like a retard when Chris went to turn on some music and I laughed for real for the first time in a long time.

“How………… are you?” Geno asked through broken English as he skated backwards in front of me. I smiled at him and earned a crooked smile in return.

“I’m good. I’ve been better but I’m good.” I answered. He nodded and skated away with Brooks to take a few shorts on Marc, who had taken a place in goal. I stood beside Jordan as he watched them and we joked around a little about how horrible they both were, laughing when they shot us sarcastic glares.

“Come on, Bernie. We’re not appreciated here!” Jordan shouted in a gay way, pulling me away from the net and skating around with me close behind. Eventually I felt happy enough to join in with their laughter and games and I even took a few half hearted shots on goal that made it past Marc.

“I give up! You’re too good for me!” Marc said, falling backwards into the net jokingly, hand held up against his forehead in girlish tiredness. I skated over and slid down beside him, landing a few inches away from his side to the sounds of the team laughing.

“Aweeee. I’m sorry, Marc. I didn’t mean to deflate your goalie ego.” I told him, laying an hand easily on his chest. He giggled and sat up, smiling that wide smile at me. “But let me ask you this. What were you thinking when we all took shots on you?”

“I was just thinking, Oh shit.” he answered jokingly, glancing around to see everyone almost falling over in laughter. I smiled and hugged him, helping him up.

“You’re out of your mind, Marc.” Chris said, leaning on his stick, “You know, normal people would move out of the way of fast moving objects. You on the other hand, move into their way. You’re about three sandwiches short of a picnic.”

“Hey! That’s not nice!!” Marc defended, glaring sarcastically over at him. He laughed as he skated away with Geno, TK, and Jordan, leaving Sid, Brooks, Max and I standing around with Marc.

“I’d like to see one of you guys get in net!” He shouted over to them, making Max laugh heartily. For once I was seeing the relaxed side of him. And while he hadn’t said anything to me the whole time he was here, he hadn’t seemed malicious or mean to me all day.

“I’m not dumb enough to be goalie.” Max told Marc with a sarcastic raise of his eyebrow. I couldn’t help it and I laughed hysterically at the shocked look on Marc’s face. Finally after a moment of laughing I held my sides and stopped, wiping away a tear of happiness as Marc glared over at me.

“What’re you laughing at? You’re a goalie too!” he said sarcastically, shoving me off to one side. I slid across the ice and smiled at him.

“Nothing, nothing.” I said easily as they all began to go off ice. Marc skated passed me and gave me a hug as he followed Geno and Jordan off. TK, Sid, Chris and Brooks followed them off and Max went by quietly, smiling to himself as the jokes continued. I thought about following them but I stayed on, not really ready to leave the ice. It was the one place I felt in control, the one place I really felt that I couldn’t hurt.

I skated around a few times, turning and going backwards and just enjoying the cold air blowing passed my face and through my hair. And as I enjoyed my time there I suddenly felt the realizations of the last few days kicking in. I slowed down as thoughts about everything flooded my mind and in the silence of the rink the heaviness of it all weighed on me.

I thought about Kathryn and I laughing and playing around the lake all those long days after school. I thought about Bryan and I joking around and having fun during our days together at work. The times we’d all spent at the mall tormenting people that hated us. All the days we’d spent together doing nothing at all and having fun. And all of it, those days of fun and happiness, all of that time was done. Every promise we’d made to take a vacation together, all the times we’d planned things and never gotten around to do them. They were never going to be accomplished. None of those goals were attainable now. And it hurt. It shook me to the core. Perhaps being alone wasn’t the best idea I’d ever had.

I skated off, now in severe internal pain and wishing that I’d left earlier with the guys. At least then maybe I’d have had a chance at not having to deal with this right now. I fell down in the seats right behind the glass to the left of the runway and I put my head in my hands. I glanced up over the ice and had a flood of memories come back to me. They were fuzzy and far away memories of my childhood but I could clearly remember skating with Eric, Kathryn, Bryan and Hannahh all day long. We’d played around for hours doing nothing and just having fun. And it made my heart ache just thinking about how it would never happen again.

I sat there for a long time, reliving moments that hadn’t been remembered in years. Eventually I fell to tears and they slipped down my face, falling onto my jeans. I wiped them away but they multiplied as fast as I could get rid of them. I gave up on it and just let it out. Everything I’d been feeling in the last few days was coming out now and as much as I wanted it to stop so that I could leave it was better to just get it out now.

I heard someone coming towards me and I assumed that it was Marc or Sidney so I didn’t bother to look up and see. They took a seat beside me and a warm hand sat on my back, soothing me a little. I sighed and tried to make the tears stop but they wouldn’t so I kept my head down, crying more and more ever minute. And then a voice made me jump. A voice I didn’t expect or really want to hear.

“Are you alright…..?” Max’s voice rang in my ears for a minute before I could process it. I felt a sudden anger and I looked up at him, rage filling me in place of the sadness.

“What do you want, Maxime?” I hissed though my teeth as the tears kept falling down my face. His eyes were soft and he looked over at me in a concerned way, not really knowing how to respond.

“I came out to clean up the ice but you don’t exactly look well.” he explained gently, “I thought you might need someone to talk to, even if it was someone you hated.”

“Well if you……… you… came to talk to me?” I said, anger fading as I looked him over. He seemed sincere and I saw no real problem with him being there.

“I came to see if you wanted to talk to me. It’s fine if you don’t, I’ll just fix the ice and leave. But I know sometimes people need someone else to talk to. And everyone else went home…..” he trailed off thoughtfully, staring out onto the ice with his crystal blue eyes. “Sid told us about everything. He wanted to stay and talk to you himself but he was slated for a press conference. Since I was going to stay and fix the ice up anyway everyone else just left…”

“Thank you, Maxime.” I said. It was easier than I thought it would be to thank him and be sincere about it. An invisible force seemed to tug at the corners of his mouth but he kept the smile in and glanced over at me.

“Anytime.” he answered smoothly, accent dancing on his words. I sighed and looked out onto the ice, the memories from my childhood coming back again. Tears that had slowed kept flowing now and I felt his eyes on me but I didn’t tear my eyes away from the ice. I felt his arm around my shoulders and he pulled me over to him. Without me putting up a fight it was a pretty easy feat to accomplish. “Now you might want to talk to me. If not then I‘m just here for you to cry on. Take your pick.”

“I’ve never been picky.” I joked, earning a small laugh from him.

“Well then you can have both if you want. I’ve never been greedy.” he answered sarcastically. I laughed a little before I relaxed and cried for a few minutes on him. And true to his word he just sat there and let me cry, not saying anything to me at all. Finally I felt myself catch enough clarity of mind to speak and I did so quietly.

“I’ve just…. I’ve never lost two people at once…… ever….. The only person that’s ever died in my family was my great grandmother….. She was such a character……. And I mean I’ve lost people in Eric’s family and then Hannahh’s but I wasn’t quite as close to them…….. I still missed them…… but this hurts so much more……… it’s like a part of me died….” I tried to explain, stumbling over words and mumbling through tears. Max’s fingers rubbed up and down my arm soothingly and he took a moment of silence before he spoke.

“It’s not going to feel great and you’re not going to get over it too easy. One person dying is hard enough but two at once? I can’t imagine what you’re going through. And then Eric leaving you…. It’s going to be hard. Probably harder than it should be. And not much is going to make the pain stop for a long time. But you’ll get past it. You have your friends and your parents and the team. You’ve got Sidney and Marc-Andre, and Geno, and Dan. And if you want you’ve got me. It’s not going to be an instant pain away and you have to be ready to be dealing with this for a long time to coming. You’re a great person so you’ll be able to surround yourself with great people. You’ve already got all these people that care about you. They’re all here to make sure that they can help you get through this. They care a lot about you.” he started, stopping for a minute in thought, “I care a lot about you.”

I took it all in stride and listened as his voice rumbled deep in his chest while tears continuously streamed down my face. The noise faded out into silence and I took solace in it for a minute, listening to my heart beat in my chest. A sudden curiosity overcame me and I felt it overwhelm the sadness. “But how can you care for someone you’re so mean to?”

“I’m mean to you because you’re mean to me. You haven’t liked the way I’ve acted and I wasn’t ready to change. I’m not ready to change. And until I was I knew you wouldn’t be nice to me. There’s no reason to be nice to someone who’s just going to turn around and hate you. It just wasn’t something I was going to do because it would’ve hurt me to offer myself to you and have you just turn around and be horrible to me. But just because I don’t say it, that doesn’t mean I don’t care. It’s hard not to care about someone the whole team loves. You really grow on people. Everyone around here loves you and it’d be like trying to stop the world from turning if I were to talk badly about you to anyone here. Chances are good that I‘d be killed.” He answered, not getting frustrated or flustered in the least. It was definitely a side of him that I wouldn’t have seen under normal circumstances.

“But I offered to be your friend. I wanted to be friends. And you turned me down. You told me that you didn’t want to be near me for my own benefit. You told me to hate your guts, Maxime.” I said, sudden confusion washing over me. His arm tightened around me and then loosened as tension washed through his body.

“I told you those things in the hope that if I knew you actually did hate me that I could hate you back. But obviously that didn’t work.” he laughed, looking over at me, “But I think that now, after seeing how you’ve been with me around, I can be your friend. I never want to fight with you. You just frustrate me sometimes. You’re a puzzle I can’t solve. I don’t understand you or most of the things you do for people. But maybe if we’re friends I can get to know you, get to understand you. And I’d like that, I think.”

I wiped away tears from my face and looked up at him, meeting his gaze for the first time since he’d gotten here. “You think I’m frustrating? Trying to understand you is like trying to read a foreign language.” I joked, smiling at him, “But if you promise me that you’ll try harder to not frustrate me so much, I’d like to be friends, Maxime. I’d love to get to know you.”

“So, could I consider you a friend now, or are you just an acquaintance? I need to know these things if I go to buy a card of something. Makes a world of difference, you know.” he said, smiling softly out towards the ice. We laughed together for the first time in a long time, the first time since I’d first met him in October.

“You can call me a friend.” I answered through a hard laugh as I wiped away the remaining tears that loomed in my eyes, threatening to come out. I felt his hand move off my shoulders and he wiped my face with his hoodie’s sleeve.

“Okay, my new friend, would you like to help me clean up the ice before I get killed?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at me. I looked into his eyes for a minute and saw that something was defiantly different this time around. Something had changed now. We really were going to be friends. He wasn’t going to purposefully mess this up.

“I would enjoy just watching you do it but I’ll help, sure.” I answered easily.

He laughed to himself and stood up, walking onto the ice in his shoes. I skated on and did circles around him, playfully pushing him and skating away. There was no way he could catch me in his shoes. We laughed and messed around for a while and eventually he did catch me before he slid on his ass and hit the wall. He lay there for a minute, eyes closed and breath slowed down.

“Ahhh! Maxime! Are you alright?” I asked, skating to a stop next to him. His eyes opened and he winked at me.

“It takes more than that to hurt Mad Max!!” he shouted heroically, sitting up quickly and smiling at me. I laughed again and skated away with him on my tail. We made it over to the room with the zamboni in it and Max started it up as I opened the doors that lead onto the ice. He drove it out and I jumped onto the back, listening to him humming ‘Oh Canada’ as he went. We did three laps around before we surveyed the ice and saw that it looked fine. He took it off ice and I skated off behind him, closing the doors that lead off ice.

I headed into the locker room and took off my skates in Mario’s stall, heading into my office to get my bag, which had been neglected for days since Kathryn and Bryan’s death. I knew that if I stopped lazing around in my own self pity things would get better, if only a tiny bit. I turned around and was organizing papers when I heard Max calling out.

“Miss Bit…………….. Bernie! Where’d you go?” he asked, walking around the corner and seeing me. I raised a hard eyebrow and stared at him. Maybe I’d been wrong.

“Excuse me?” I asked, looking into his eyes.

“Sorry…. It’ll take some getting used to…. I’m a little accustomed to this name calling.” he apologized, looking at me with a sorrowful gaze. My stare softened and I smiled a little as I finished getting everything.

“Maybe if you picked a better nickname this wouldn’t be so hard, though admittedly it’ll take some getting used to for me too, Max.” I said, struggling to get his nickname out. I’d been calling him Maxime for so long it didn’t seem right to call him anything else.

“Hmm….. frumos fată.” he said with an accent that sounded familiarly Russian.

“Frumos fată? Ahh whatever floats your boat, Max. I dunno what it means but I know it’s Russian.” I told him. A smirk unmatched to any other I’d ever seen crossed his face and it made me want to smile. And eventually as we were walking out I did.

“So, Frumos fată, would you like to join me for dinner tomorrow before the game? Jordan and Geno are going too and you just seem to need friends.” Max offered, walking out into the lobby beside me. I laughed to myself.

“Frumos fată.” I said under my breath, earning a smile from Max.